Hello,
I'm not one of those folk who pore over pictures of the rich and famous guffawing at bad plastic surgery or worse looking for cellulite and the like. One of my favourite pastimes is looking at things and I'd far rather look at a beautiful thing than a ropey one. I'm funny like that.
There are few things I enjoy looking at more than Rupert Everett which is why stumbling upon this act of vandalism tortures me. Who is responsible for this outrage? He was aging rather nicely-what on earth possessed him? The surgeon responsible must be strung up before he reoffends.
I'm honestly devastated at the loss of one of the world's great beauties so much so that I'm considering having my stationery edged in black. Is surgery a bit like hairdye in that it settles down a bit after a time? Please answer yes.
Cheerio
Showing posts with label horror. Show all posts
Showing posts with label horror. Show all posts
4/17/2009
6/22/2008
Oh Dear God No!
Hello,
I note that Mr Tsvangirai has pulled out of the election. Whilst I disapprove of the decision I cannot say with any certainty it was wrong or that in his shoes I'd have done differently. It's the easiest thing in the world for me to sit on my big pampered Scottish arse and say he should hold out as it will be best in the long run but to sit back and actually see people slaughtered is another matter entirely. I remain appalled and disappointed that there seems to be no end to the situation. If I had any influence I'd tell the Vatican to excommunicate Mugabe -after all if a woman who has an abortion at any stage of pregnancy can be kicked out the church then I see no reason to allow a mass murderer membership. I did raise this with a Catholic of my acquaintance who retorted that 'at least he isn't Islam'. Remind me again why Catholics are far too grand to go to school with the rest of us? Full of religion and fuck all Christianity- frankly exposure to normal people would do them a power of good.
Anyway to amble back towards the point I intended to make. Thabo Mbeki is a swine. Volumes are spoken by his silence. I deplore war and whilst I'm no pacifist wish to see it avoided at every reasonable cost but if Mbeki cared about his fellow Africans, his nation and country men and women he'd issue a firm threat of military action to his chum Mugabe. At least two million Zimbabwean refugees are living in squalor in South Africa which tells us all we need to know about conditions in Zimbabwe.
When I was a girl I used to send a portion of my pocket money to the ANC to help free Mandela. If I'd realised Mandela for all his flaws was the nearest to decent they had I'd have blown the lot on Merrydown cider, big earrings, joss sticks and drugs. What a bunch of stenchers -African Labour party anyone?
Whether Mbeki likes it or not, it is his problem. The black poor of South Africa can no more afford refugees than a double garage and swimming pool each. In his own country's interest, if no other he must take decisive action. Removing Mugabe could reduce the population of South Africa by at least two million and ease the burden on the impoverished communities who support them.
Quiet diplomacy isn't working, there is no negotiation with someone who reckons God is more important that the electorate. Get in there, remove Mugabe and lets see a Zimbabwe worth existing.
Cheerio
I note that Mr Tsvangirai has pulled out of the election. Whilst I disapprove of the decision I cannot say with any certainty it was wrong or that in his shoes I'd have done differently. It's the easiest thing in the world for me to sit on my big pampered Scottish arse and say he should hold out as it will be best in the long run but to sit back and actually see people slaughtered is another matter entirely. I remain appalled and disappointed that there seems to be no end to the situation. If I had any influence I'd tell the Vatican to excommunicate Mugabe -after all if a woman who has an abortion at any stage of pregnancy can be kicked out the church then I see no reason to allow a mass murderer membership. I did raise this with a Catholic of my acquaintance who retorted that 'at least he isn't Islam'. Remind me again why Catholics are far too grand to go to school with the rest of us? Full of religion and fuck all Christianity- frankly exposure to normal people would do them a power of good.
Anyway to amble back towards the point I intended to make. Thabo Mbeki is a swine. Volumes are spoken by his silence. I deplore war and whilst I'm no pacifist wish to see it avoided at every reasonable cost but if Mbeki cared about his fellow Africans, his nation and country men and women he'd issue a firm threat of military action to his chum Mugabe. At least two million Zimbabwean refugees are living in squalor in South Africa which tells us all we need to know about conditions in Zimbabwe.
When I was a girl I used to send a portion of my pocket money to the ANC to help free Mandela. If I'd realised Mandela for all his flaws was the nearest to decent they had I'd have blown the lot on Merrydown cider, big earrings, joss sticks and drugs. What a bunch of stenchers -African Labour party anyone?
Whether Mbeki likes it or not, it is his problem. The black poor of South Africa can no more afford refugees than a double garage and swimming pool each. In his own country's interest, if no other he must take decisive action. Removing Mugabe could reduce the population of South Africa by at least two million and ease the burden on the impoverished communities who support them.
Quiet diplomacy isn't working, there is no negotiation with someone who reckons God is more important that the electorate. Get in there, remove Mugabe and lets see a Zimbabwe worth existing.
Cheerio
6/20/2008
"The devil when he purports any evil against man, first perverts his mind." - Athenagoras of Athens
Hello,
There is nothing like the wacky world of international politics to reduce one to a gibbering state of impotent rage. A fortune teller once advised me that it was the combination of Aries and Libra in my horoscope that send me demented about injustice. Personally I think it's just a lack of any real power in life. I strongly suspect I'd be as bad as any dictator if I were in charge of anything big - as much though lack of patience as anything else.
Nevertheless I'm utterly appalled and bewildered by current events in Zimbabwe. What on earth does Mugabe want to hold onto? He has destroyed the country's agricultural industry by allowing armed thugs to turf white farmers and their largely black work force off the land. Given the history of Zimbabwe there may well be a case for land redistribution but I submit that taking land away from experienced farmers and agricultural workers and giving it to drunks, thugs and halfwits who know marginally less about farming than I do is not the way to go about it. Worst of all though is the dictatorship's deliberate manipulation of food shortages for political ends. Incidentally in what way is this compatible with Mugabe's Catholicism and given The Vatican's belief in the right to life shouldn't the evil old swine have been excommunicated by now or do they really regard the deliberate starvation and murder of thousands as more acceptable than violence towards the Pope or good old adultery?
He's only in power because people fear him not because they like, admire or even support him. I suspect this is as true of his hired thugs as anyone else. If he wanted he could swan off with a ton of money, roll up in a friendly country and live out the rest of his days in fine style with enough to employ plenty staff to bully should the desire to exercise a bit of power take him. The man must have the skin of a rhino. For heavens sake he has to threaten people to gain any support and even that isn't enough to keep him in power legitamately. What in God's name does he wish to hang on to power for?
Given the level of violence and bloodshed the election has provoked I can see why it might be tempting for the opposition to concede in an effort to stop anyone else being killed but I hope they don't. Every life lost is a tragedy but in the long term getting Mugabe out and Tsvangirai in is the best way to stop the violence. Provided of course Morgan Tsvangirai doesn't turn out to be another power crazed lunatic. After all even that pig Mugabe managed to seem reasonable for about thirty seconds in 1980.
Cheerio
Hello,
There is nothing like the wacky world of international politics to reduce one to a gibbering state of impotent rage. A fortune teller once advised me that it was the combination of Aries and Libra in my horoscope that send me demented about injustice. Personally I think it's just a lack of any real power in life. I strongly suspect I'd be as bad as any dictator if I were in charge of anything big - as much though lack of patience as anything else.
Nevertheless I'm utterly appalled and bewildered by current events in Zimbabwe. What on earth does Mugabe want to hold onto? He has destroyed the country's agricultural industry by allowing armed thugs to turf white farmers and their largely black work force off the land. Given the history of Zimbabwe there may well be a case for land redistribution but I submit that taking land away from experienced farmers and agricultural workers and giving it to drunks, thugs and halfwits who know marginally less about farming than I do is not the way to go about it. Worst of all though is the dictatorship's deliberate manipulation of food shortages for political ends. Incidentally in what way is this compatible with Mugabe's Catholicism and given The Vatican's belief in the right to life shouldn't the evil old swine have been excommunicated by now or do they really regard the deliberate starvation and murder of thousands as more acceptable than violence towards the Pope or good old adultery?
He's only in power because people fear him not because they like, admire or even support him. I suspect this is as true of his hired thugs as anyone else. If he wanted he could swan off with a ton of money, roll up in a friendly country and live out the rest of his days in fine style with enough to employ plenty staff to bully should the desire to exercise a bit of power take him. The man must have the skin of a rhino. For heavens sake he has to threaten people to gain any support and even that isn't enough to keep him in power legitamately. What in God's name does he wish to hang on to power for?
Given the level of violence and bloodshed the election has provoked I can see why it might be tempting for the opposition to concede in an effort to stop anyone else being killed but I hope they don't. Every life lost is a tragedy but in the long term getting Mugabe out and Tsvangirai in is the best way to stop the violence. Provided of course Morgan Tsvangirai doesn't turn out to be another power crazed lunatic. After all even that pig Mugabe managed to seem reasonable for about thirty seconds in 1980.
Cheerio
6/01/2008
Squandered
Hello,
I'm afraid I've been reading again and it's left me furious! Fit to be tied! What could have got me so riled? Well it is a fine book by the name 'Squandered' written by David Craig and it details how our wonderful leaders have wasted billions of pounds of our money on sod all of any use to anyone. Though that said they have been very kind to themselves.
I haven't finished the book yet I kept having to pause and wonder why it hasn't sparked a bloody revolution. Despite living in one of the wealthiest countries in the world (I refer to Britain as a whole -not Scotland obviously before anyone starts emailing) we have a health service which manages to kill at least 34,000 patients unnecessarily every year. Though given that 34,000 is the health services own figure the real total may be much higher. It also confirms my suspicion that the NHS isn't a mess because of underfunding at all. It's a mess because of disgraceful, bloated management and outsourcing of important services like food and cleaning. Under Labour -those passionate advocates of the health service billions has been squandered on increased management and toothless watchdogs all at the expense of patient care which is the whole point of the bloody thing.
Still at least we're not at war....oh wait a minute...oh dear. Well the good news is most of us aren't in the armed services but it's bad news if you are. Despite being war crazy the government are curiously tight fisted when it comes to forking out for basics like medical supplies, guns that work and devices that offer protection against roadside bombs and the like. Frankly if it came to light that there are entire regiments in Iraq fighting with peashooters and water pistols I would not bat an eyelid. On the bright side if you come back in one piece and work very hard you might get a job in the MoD headquarters . They're very nice apparently and so they should be as they're costing us £78million a year for the next thirty years.
It came as no surprise to me to learn that the benefits system is in complete disarray, though even I was surprised to learn the DWP had it's accounts rejected by the Auditor General every year for the last eighteen years. I part company slightly with the author on the possible reasons for this. He blames an overly complicated system which I agree that it is for claimants but given that I can understand it -it can't be that difficult. I do, however note that the Inland Revenue now require no formal qualifications for new recruits -they used to require a minimum of five GCSEs. I'm not being snooty but given that exams are now almost impossible to fail you'd have to be a real dunce not to have any qualifications. For heavens sake in 2007 97% of GCSE pupils passed their exams. Who are the other 3%? Admit you want to know too so you can take the piss as well.
I could go on but if I write about fucking Europe I will explode with sheer rage. I will confess to having a list of everyone who has ever mocked me for my Euroscepticism and will be taunting them with the relevant details and requiring them to explain how exactly being opposed to fraud, waste, stupidity, excessive bureaucracy and corruption is xenophobic?
I am only 3/4 of the way through the book and already I'm hopping mad. I didn't even vote Labour, I never have mainly because I hate them yet they've even managed to let me down. Not the the last Conservative administration get off scot-free either having been responsible for some appalling waste themselves. I used to hate people who whined that there was no point voting or caring about politics but they have got a point really. Prior to becoming a communist for two years a fifteen I was an anarchist and the more I see in life I'm starting to think I was right in the first place.
It's an illuminating read and one that I shall be quoting great chunks of to Gordon Brown if he starts on me with his 6am crank calls.
Cheerio
I'm afraid I've been reading again and it's left me furious! Fit to be tied! What could have got me so riled? Well it is a fine book by the name 'Squandered' written by David Craig and it details how our wonderful leaders have wasted billions of pounds of our money on sod all of any use to anyone. Though that said they have been very kind to themselves.
I haven't finished the book yet I kept having to pause and wonder why it hasn't sparked a bloody revolution. Despite living in one of the wealthiest countries in the world (I refer to Britain as a whole -not Scotland obviously before anyone starts emailing) we have a health service which manages to kill at least 34,000 patients unnecessarily every year. Though given that 34,000 is the health services own figure the real total may be much higher. It also confirms my suspicion that the NHS isn't a mess because of underfunding at all. It's a mess because of disgraceful, bloated management and outsourcing of important services like food and cleaning. Under Labour -those passionate advocates of the health service billions has been squandered on increased management and toothless watchdogs all at the expense of patient care which is the whole point of the bloody thing.
Still at least we're not at war....oh wait a minute...oh dear. Well the good news is most of us aren't in the armed services but it's bad news if you are. Despite being war crazy the government are curiously tight fisted when it comes to forking out for basics like medical supplies, guns that work and devices that offer protection against roadside bombs and the like. Frankly if it came to light that there are entire regiments in Iraq fighting with peashooters and water pistols I would not bat an eyelid. On the bright side if you come back in one piece and work very hard you might get a job in the MoD headquarters . They're very nice apparently and so they should be as they're costing us £78million a year for the next thirty years.
It came as no surprise to me to learn that the benefits system is in complete disarray, though even I was surprised to learn the DWP had it's accounts rejected by the Auditor General every year for the last eighteen years. I part company slightly with the author on the possible reasons for this. He blames an overly complicated system which I agree that it is for claimants but given that I can understand it -it can't be that difficult. I do, however note that the Inland Revenue now require no formal qualifications for new recruits -they used to require a minimum of five GCSEs. I'm not being snooty but given that exams are now almost impossible to fail you'd have to be a real dunce not to have any qualifications. For heavens sake in 2007 97% of GCSE pupils passed their exams. Who are the other 3%? Admit you want to know too so you can take the piss as well.
I could go on but if I write about fucking Europe I will explode with sheer rage. I will confess to having a list of everyone who has ever mocked me for my Euroscepticism and will be taunting them with the relevant details and requiring them to explain how exactly being opposed to fraud, waste, stupidity, excessive bureaucracy and corruption is xenophobic?
I am only 3/4 of the way through the book and already I'm hopping mad. I didn't even vote Labour, I never have mainly because I hate them yet they've even managed to let me down. Not the the last Conservative administration get off scot-free either having been responsible for some appalling waste themselves. I used to hate people who whined that there was no point voting or caring about politics but they have got a point really. Prior to becoming a communist for two years a fifteen I was an anarchist and the more I see in life I'm starting to think I was right in the first place.
It's an illuminating read and one that I shall be quoting great chunks of to Gordon Brown if he starts on me with his 6am crank calls.
Cheerio
5/25/2008
1/09/2008
Released From The Jaws Of Death!
Hello,
Normally I wouldn't start a post with a moan about a physical illness but the last few days of my life have been so painful and distressing I feel entitled. I opened a window and broke out in a rash, I ate and vomited, I sneezed and wanted to die, I coughed and thought I would, I tried to sleep and saw snakes weaving a path across my ceiling. Four days of my life -gone like a nightmare.
Mercifully I've been released and what a release it's been.
First up I find that Terry Kelly has become a national media star! .
Secondly I returned to work but we shan't dwell on that.
Thirdly I wanted to reassure my merry band that I still exist. I had started to doubt it myself but here we all are.
Normally I wouldn't start a post with a moan about a physical illness but the last few days of my life have been so painful and distressing I feel entitled. I opened a window and broke out in a rash, I ate and vomited, I sneezed and wanted to die, I coughed and thought I would, I tried to sleep and saw snakes weaving a path across my ceiling. Four days of my life -gone like a nightmare.
Mercifully I've been released and what a release it's been.
First up I find that Terry Kelly has become a national media star! .
Secondly I returned to work but we shan't dwell on that.
Thirdly I wanted to reassure my merry band that I still exist. I had started to doubt it myself but here we all are.
12/16/2007
Oh God the Drink
Hello,
I emerge from a two day hibernation following the works night out. I have been trying to piece together my movements and have that awful sneaking suspicion I might have made rather a clown of myself. Mr Clairwil informs me that he was awoken at 2am to be asked questions about boxes and sex to which there was no real answer.
I remember winning a CD player, I remember being absurdly patriotic, I remember breaking a glass, I remember dancing, I remember being hit by the sudden realisation that one of my female colleagues is the most sexually desirable human being I ever ever eyed up and that is a worry. A bigger worry is what I can't remember.
I also remember singing 'James The Cat' in the close at the top of my voice and trying to flog my very respectable and horrified Indian neighbours 'my diamonds' (glass) and offering to show them my pants to prove I'm not all fur coat and no knickers. To be fair they were very understanding about the whole thing when I popped in later that day with gifts of apology.
Oh you know how it is with drink, one moment you have a table in fits as you express your amazement that the pudding you'd ordered appeared to be tinned fruit cocktail and squirty cream, the next you want to show folk your pants. For those who are interested my pants were by Spanx and very large.
I expect Amy Winehouse feels like this everyday.
Cheerio
I emerge from a two day hibernation following the works night out. I have been trying to piece together my movements and have that awful sneaking suspicion I might have made rather a clown of myself. Mr Clairwil informs me that he was awoken at 2am to be asked questions about boxes and sex to which there was no real answer.
I remember winning a CD player, I remember being absurdly patriotic, I remember breaking a glass, I remember dancing, I remember being hit by the sudden realisation that one of my female colleagues is the most sexually desirable human being I ever ever eyed up and that is a worry. A bigger worry is what I can't remember.
I also remember singing 'James The Cat' in the close at the top of my voice and trying to flog my very respectable and horrified Indian neighbours 'my diamonds' (glass) and offering to show them my pants to prove I'm not all fur coat and no knickers. To be fair they were very understanding about the whole thing when I popped in later that day with gifts of apology.
Oh you know how it is with drink, one moment you have a table in fits as you express your amazement that the pudding you'd ordered appeared to be tinned fruit cocktail and squirty cream, the next you want to show folk your pants. For those who are interested my pants were by Spanx and very large.
I expect Amy Winehouse feels like this everyday.
Cheerio
9/04/2007
I know it's cheap but......
It has come to my attention that David Murray, the ruler of Rangers reckons that obesity is a bigger problem than sectarianism in Scotland. I cannot fathom for the life of me where he gets that notion from.
8/24/2007
Creep
Hello,
Despite being, at heart an eye for an eye type, a holder of life long grudges and somewhat aggressive, I strive to keep these traits under control. I say to myself 'Clairwil you might have have a certain amount of right on your side if you beheaded your work colleagues in a fit of rage but it would be uncivilised'. Rather like breaking wind or eating at KFC. So I stay quiet and act reasonable and although I fear that there will be the most awful tragedy one day for now it works.
The world though goes out it's way to provoke me. Take wife beating scumbag Colin Read for example. Having attacked his wife as she slept, beat her up twice for complaining about it and topped it off by burning her back with an iron you'd expect him to be sitting in jail would you not? Wrong as he was too busy with work to do community service he has instead been fined £2000. I'm sure that will leave a massive hole in his finances. The poor chap only earns £90,000 p/a.
Now you see here I was going to organise a whip round to cover the legal costs of anyone who gives Mr Read a taste of his own medicine but of course that would be wrong and quite possibly illegal. Though I should point out that the circumstances of this case have provoked me and sending me to prison would help no-one. Nevertheless it's the ability to pretend that we don't want to beat the shit out of someone that separates us from the animals So I'll merely suggest that we purse our lips and tut impotently all the while nursing the secret hope that Mr Read dies a slow agonising death at the hands of a mob. That my friends would be justice even if we don't encourage it.
Cheers
P.S Do follow the link above, it takes you to a post written by the wonderful Katy Newton, officially my favourite lady on the internets.
Despite being, at heart an eye for an eye type, a holder of life long grudges and somewhat aggressive, I strive to keep these traits under control. I say to myself 'Clairwil you might have have a certain amount of right on your side if you beheaded your work colleagues in a fit of rage but it would be uncivilised'. Rather like breaking wind or eating at KFC. So I stay quiet and act reasonable and although I fear that there will be the most awful tragedy one day for now it works.
The world though goes out it's way to provoke me. Take wife beating scumbag Colin Read for example. Having attacked his wife as she slept, beat her up twice for complaining about it and topped it off by burning her back with an iron you'd expect him to be sitting in jail would you not? Wrong as he was too busy with work to do community service he has instead been fined £2000. I'm sure that will leave a massive hole in his finances. The poor chap only earns £90,000 p/a.
Now you see here I was going to organise a whip round to cover the legal costs of anyone who gives Mr Read a taste of his own medicine but of course that would be wrong and quite possibly illegal. Though I should point out that the circumstances of this case have provoked me and sending me to prison would help no-one. Nevertheless it's the ability to pretend that we don't want to beat the shit out of someone that separates us from the animals So I'll merely suggest that we purse our lips and tut impotently all the while nursing the secret hope that Mr Read dies a slow agonising death at the hands of a mob. That my friends would be justice even if we don't encourage it.
Cheers
P.S Do follow the link above, it takes you to a post written by the wonderful Katy Newton, officially my favourite lady on the internets.
7/18/2007
A Warning Against Toying With The Occult
Hello,
A while back I mentioned that a psychic had informed me that I had someone very interesting behind me from the spirit world.
Naturally I was intrigued, so I was pleased to stumble across a different psychic who reckoned she could supply me with a drawing of my spirit guide. I duly coughed up the very reasonable £4.00 fee for this remarkable service and waited. The shocking outcome of all this is that I have a very well executed pencil drawing which appears to be of one of my ex-boyfriends. That said drawing has the same name and purports to be my 'soulmate' is, I need hardly day most distressing. Mr Clairwil could never be usurped in my affections.
Obviously I am the victim of some sort of prank. For a start a soulmate and a spirit guide are two entirely separate beasties. What worries me is who is responsible for this outrage? Why? I have of course submitted a stern email to them which has come back undelivered. It's as if they have vanished into thin air. The drawing itself is as I say very well done but every time I look at it I want to sleep with all it's friends and start pointless drunken fist fights. It can't be healthy.
I'm off to bed now though I doubt I shall ever sleep again.
Cheerio
A while back I mentioned that a psychic had informed me that I had someone very interesting behind me from the spirit world.
Naturally I was intrigued, so I was pleased to stumble across a different psychic who reckoned she could supply me with a drawing of my spirit guide. I duly coughed up the very reasonable £4.00 fee for this remarkable service and waited. The shocking outcome of all this is that I have a very well executed pencil drawing which appears to be of one of my ex-boyfriends. That said drawing has the same name and purports to be my 'soulmate' is, I need hardly day most distressing. Mr Clairwil could never be usurped in my affections.
Obviously I am the victim of some sort of prank. For a start a soulmate and a spirit guide are two entirely separate beasties. What worries me is who is responsible for this outrage? Why? I have of course submitted a stern email to them which has come back undelivered. It's as if they have vanished into thin air. The drawing itself is as I say very well done but every time I look at it I want to sleep with all it's friends and start pointless drunken fist fights. It can't be healthy.
I'm off to bed now though I doubt I shall ever sleep again.
Cheerio
7/01/2007
Terror Attacks Cause Outbreak Of Drivel On The Web!
Hello,
I have been following the coverage of the terror attack at Glasgow Airport with some interest. Against my better judgement I took a trip over to the BBC news 'Have Your Say' bit. Oh Lord! There are times when I think free speech is a terrible error. Then I think again and conclude that if everyone else is going to talk total nonsense who am I to swim against the tide?
First up we have people attempting to get to the root cause of why the airport was attacked. Quite frankly I think someone in authority should take these 'experts' at their word and send them to Guantanamo Bay for having a suspicious level of insider knowledge. I realise that's a bit unfair given that they're talking frightful rot but it's better than them being allowed to air their views and mislead impressionable children and other vulnerable people.
A popular explanation is of course the Iraq War. Quite why someone who felt that way would attack a country which has just elected a devolved government that are vocal opponents of the Iraq war is not explained or I suspect given any consideration. Something of an own goal for the terrorists there I'd have thought, if they were in a tizzy about Iraq.
Whilst I believe that situations like the Iraq War and so on don't do recruitment to terrorist organisations any harm at all they are not the root cause of Islamist terror. There are times when I'm tempted to start supporting the war in Iraq to distance myself from 'Iraq bores'. Honestly if I were to mention that the telly was a bit dull last night I wouldn't be surprised if someone responded well of course what do you expect when we've killed all those poor Iraqis.
There are loads of folk with solutions to the problem. Like ID cards. Saints preserve us. Asylum Seekers are presently obliged to carry ID cards and it doesn't appear to have had much bearing on terrorism prevention in the UK. In any case, is someone mad enough to set fire to themselves likely to be deterred by someone knowing who they are? I cannot see many future terror plots being abandoned with the words 'drat those infidels and their ID cards'.
The deport everyone brigade are out in full. Quite how this would sort out homegrown terrorists is unclear. What do they expect the government to do? Approach some Muslim country and explain 'we're having a spot of trouble with some Islamist terrorists and we thought with you being Muslims you wouldn't mind importing a selection of violent British nutters'. Somehow I can't see that one working. If someone who isn't British presents a threat to public safety then jail them and boot them out and the end of their sentence however it's not going to eliminate the threat.
Then we have some tosser moaning about Alex Salmond making a statement. Good Lord the way that Salmond carries on you'd think he was First Minister and Scotland had been attacked! That's all we need an uppity Scot getting narked and sticking his beak into matters that don't concern him. He'll only get it wrong and break things.
I think my favourite comment was by 'Claire'. 'I am 22 years old and should not feel unsafe in my own country'. What does being 22 have to do with it you bloody fool? Why she didn't just write 'I am a pampered halfwit who descends into a footstamping hissy fit each time the world shows itself to be less than perfect' and have done with it I don't know. Six months in Iraq would sort her out. As if being 22 grants one the right to special protection!
An improbably named gentleman, one 'Mr Buttomungous' claims to have seen four chaps acting suspiciously in a Silver Mercedes last autumn. However he didn't report this or anything sensible like that in case someone thought he was a racist. I think that is quite the silliest thing ever said by any human being anywhere. Why would anyone publicly confess to finding the though of an accusation of racism as being worse than failure to report a potential terrorist attack?
Mind you abuse of the right of free speech is nothing to the abuse of the English language on that board. It's a well known fact that English is the worlds greatest language, I myself refuse to speak any other, even when overseas. I rather fancy the foreigners enjoy the challenge, in any case I always get my egg and chips. To return to the BBC website, if I find people communicating with grunts and fire in the next couple of hours I won't raise so much as an eyebrow in surprise. Instead I shall draw some stick men and jump up and down.
Finally would you all think less of me if I confess to feeling a warm glow at living in a city with citizens mad and heroic enough to punch out a psyched up burning terrorist? The only thing that would have made me happier would be if they'd beaten him with Irn Bru bottles pausing only to light a fag off the flames.
Cheerio
I have been following the coverage of the terror attack at Glasgow Airport with some interest. Against my better judgement I took a trip over to the BBC news 'Have Your Say' bit. Oh Lord! There are times when I think free speech is a terrible error. Then I think again and conclude that if everyone else is going to talk total nonsense who am I to swim against the tide?
First up we have people attempting to get to the root cause of why the airport was attacked. Quite frankly I think someone in authority should take these 'experts' at their word and send them to Guantanamo Bay for having a suspicious level of insider knowledge. I realise that's a bit unfair given that they're talking frightful rot but it's better than them being allowed to air their views and mislead impressionable children and other vulnerable people.
A popular explanation is of course the Iraq War. Quite why someone who felt that way would attack a country which has just elected a devolved government that are vocal opponents of the Iraq war is not explained or I suspect given any consideration. Something of an own goal for the terrorists there I'd have thought, if they were in a tizzy about Iraq.
Whilst I believe that situations like the Iraq War and so on don't do recruitment to terrorist organisations any harm at all they are not the root cause of Islamist terror. There are times when I'm tempted to start supporting the war in Iraq to distance myself from 'Iraq bores'. Honestly if I were to mention that the telly was a bit dull last night I wouldn't be surprised if someone responded well of course what do you expect when we've killed all those poor Iraqis.
There are loads of folk with solutions to the problem. Like ID cards. Saints preserve us. Asylum Seekers are presently obliged to carry ID cards and it doesn't appear to have had much bearing on terrorism prevention in the UK. In any case, is someone mad enough to set fire to themselves likely to be deterred by someone knowing who they are? I cannot see many future terror plots being abandoned with the words 'drat those infidels and their ID cards'.
The deport everyone brigade are out in full. Quite how this would sort out homegrown terrorists is unclear. What do they expect the government to do? Approach some Muslim country and explain 'we're having a spot of trouble with some Islamist terrorists and we thought with you being Muslims you wouldn't mind importing a selection of violent British nutters'. Somehow I can't see that one working. If someone who isn't British presents a threat to public safety then jail them and boot them out and the end of their sentence however it's not going to eliminate the threat.
Then we have some tosser moaning about Alex Salmond making a statement. Good Lord the way that Salmond carries on you'd think he was First Minister and Scotland had been attacked! That's all we need an uppity Scot getting narked and sticking his beak into matters that don't concern him. He'll only get it wrong and break things.
I think my favourite comment was by 'Claire'. 'I am 22 years old and should not feel unsafe in my own country'. What does being 22 have to do with it you bloody fool? Why she didn't just write 'I am a pampered halfwit who descends into a footstamping hissy fit each time the world shows itself to be less than perfect' and have done with it I don't know. Six months in Iraq would sort her out. As if being 22 grants one the right to special protection!
An improbably named gentleman, one 'Mr Buttomungous' claims to have seen four chaps acting suspiciously in a Silver Mercedes last autumn. However he didn't report this or anything sensible like that in case someone thought he was a racist. I think that is quite the silliest thing ever said by any human being anywhere. Why would anyone publicly confess to finding the though of an accusation of racism as being worse than failure to report a potential terrorist attack?
Mind you abuse of the right of free speech is nothing to the abuse of the English language on that board. It's a well known fact that English is the worlds greatest language, I myself refuse to speak any other, even when overseas. I rather fancy the foreigners enjoy the challenge, in any case I always get my egg and chips. To return to the BBC website, if I find people communicating with grunts and fire in the next couple of hours I won't raise so much as an eyebrow in surprise. Instead I shall draw some stick men and jump up and down.
Finally would you all think less of me if I confess to feeling a warm glow at living in a city with citizens mad and heroic enough to punch out a psyched up burning terrorist? The only thing that would have made me happier would be if they'd beaten him with Irn Bru bottles pausing only to light a fag off the flames.
Cheerio
6/19/2007
Advice
Hello,
It is my duty to inform you that attending a laughter therapy workshop is a terrible idea. It is hard for me to talk about exactly what happened but 'getting in touch with your inner laugh' is no laughing matter. Apparently people have been known to break down in tears at these affairs and they have my sympathy, I wasn't far off anguished hysteria myself. Stick to Yoga it's much safer and no-one makes you pretend to be a tree.
Another useful lesson for us all is never, ever flush underwear down the toilet. I am referring to the collapse of a sewer, near Darlington caused by a bra and pants. Northumbrian Water have made it clear that sewerage pipes were not designed for underwear disposal so there should be no confusion on the matter. Much as it pains me to admit it I have reason to believe that the culprit may hail from the west of Scotland. I am reliably informed by a fellow skilled in building and sewerage pipes that having worked all over Europe he has discovered that the west of Scotland is the only place where people think nappies and larger items can be flushed down the loo.
Finally don't go on holiday without these essential phrases.
Cheerio
It is my duty to inform you that attending a laughter therapy workshop is a terrible idea. It is hard for me to talk about exactly what happened but 'getting in touch with your inner laugh' is no laughing matter. Apparently people have been known to break down in tears at these affairs and they have my sympathy, I wasn't far off anguished hysteria myself. Stick to Yoga it's much safer and no-one makes you pretend to be a tree.
Another useful lesson for us all is never, ever flush underwear down the toilet. I am referring to the collapse of a sewer, near Darlington caused by a bra and pants. Northumbrian Water have made it clear that sewerage pipes were not designed for underwear disposal so there should be no confusion on the matter. Much as it pains me to admit it I have reason to believe that the culprit may hail from the west of Scotland. I am reliably informed by a fellow skilled in building and sewerage pipes that having worked all over Europe he has discovered that the west of Scotland is the only place where people think nappies and larger items can be flushed down the loo.
Finally don't go on holiday without these essential phrases.
Cheerio
5/28/2007
Another harmless pastime jumps on the cancer bandwagon.
Hello,
I'll bet there was rejoicing throughout the offices of the Daily Mail when this depressing bit of news turned up.
Cheerio
I'll bet there was rejoicing throughout the offices of the Daily Mail when this depressing bit of news turned up.
Cheerio
5/18/2007
The world really needs something to take the edge off it.
Hello,
Sorry for the absence. I've been grappling with nicotine withdrawl, a diet of leftovers and no booze for a week. A whole week. Talk about depressing. I haven't decided to take up 'healthy living' or some such nonsense. I've been estranged from my bank card. To cut a long story short my card stopped working, the bank sent a replacement which has been trapped at the sorting office for a whole week.
Anyway I now have my new card and have been able to get back into the old vices again. Merciful Jesus! The terrible thing about not smoking and drinking is that it makes one think of themselves and how they feel constantly and that way depression lies. I imagine this is what rehab must be like.
It is just as well I've got my 'crutches' because I don't think the unenhanced Clairwil could have taken this horror - Tony Blair in charge of the World Bank! For heaven's sake, you'd think after the mess he's made of Britain, not to mention Iraq he'd be unemployable but no. They think he's wonderful!
Nothing's been decided as yet but it's just the sort of thing I could see Blair doing either that or something pointless in Europe. What the reports on this terrifying possibility don't mention is Cherie. The world Bank might think Paul Wolfowitz's lady friend has been a problem but imagine that grasping crow Cherie on the loose. She'll sweep through the world hoovering up freebies and I bet she'll nick the stationary whether he manages to wangle her a job or not.
Quite apart from anything else and correct me if I'm wrong but Blair doesn't have any banking experience does he? That being the case shouldn't he be starting out in the call centre or something to get a bit of experience. There is also the small matter of the question of Blair's honesty cash for peerages, WMD etc.
Why can't he just piss off to America and charge businessmen stupid sums of money to listen to him bang on about how great he is? Isn't that the normal career for ex-prime ministers. Failing that couldn't we just encase him concrete and bury him for a 100 years after which time he wouldn't be able to do any more damage?
Sorry for the absence. I've been grappling with nicotine withdrawl, a diet of leftovers and no booze for a week. A whole week. Talk about depressing. I haven't decided to take up 'healthy living' or some such nonsense. I've been estranged from my bank card. To cut a long story short my card stopped working, the bank sent a replacement which has been trapped at the sorting office for a whole week.
Anyway I now have my new card and have been able to get back into the old vices again. Merciful Jesus! The terrible thing about not smoking and drinking is that it makes one think of themselves and how they feel constantly and that way depression lies. I imagine this is what rehab must be like.
It is just as well I've got my 'crutches' because I don't think the unenhanced Clairwil could have taken this horror - Tony Blair in charge of the World Bank! For heaven's sake, you'd think after the mess he's made of Britain, not to mention Iraq he'd be unemployable but no. They think he's wonderful!
Nothing's been decided as yet but it's just the sort of thing I could see Blair doing either that or something pointless in Europe. What the reports on this terrifying possibility don't mention is Cherie. The world Bank might think Paul Wolfowitz's lady friend has been a problem but imagine that grasping crow Cherie on the loose. She'll sweep through the world hoovering up freebies and I bet she'll nick the stationary whether he manages to wangle her a job or not.
Quite apart from anything else and correct me if I'm wrong but Blair doesn't have any banking experience does he? That being the case shouldn't he be starting out in the call centre or something to get a bit of experience. There is also the small matter of the question of Blair's honesty cash for peerages, WMD etc.
Why can't he just piss off to America and charge businessmen stupid sums of money to listen to him bang on about how great he is? Isn't that the normal career for ex-prime ministers. Failing that couldn't we just encase him concrete and bury him for a 100 years after which time he wouldn't be able to do any more damage?
5/06/2007
Hey Busybodies Leave Those Weans Alone.
Hello,
The next person who smugly proclaims that the parents of the abducted infant Madeleine McCann or 'Maddy' as she is presumptuously being called by the press, are to blame is getting a sore face. The last time I checked the holiday resorts of Portugal were not war zones. It seems to me perfectly reasonable to leave a child in a nearby room to eat one's dinner in peace.
In truth, I really pity the modern child. I spent most of my childhood wishing my parents would get out my face. Yet by modern standards I was neglected, spending my summers wandering about 'the field' or down the park playing football with the lads. I was also fond of camping expeditions in various neighbours gardens. Similarly snowy winters were spent hurling snowballs and sledging down 'the cliff' (now a steep set of stairs in hideous Barratt scheme). Worse than that, around the age of eight I was deemed capable of walking to school alone and since six was only walked halfway.
To which some smartarse will no doubt hold me up as an example of the pitfalls of lax parenting. All I can say is that my parents aren't to blame for me, my brother has turned out well, I'm just a genetic throwback to some earlier horror. I am a mess of my own making and in that is my defence of a balanced approach. Better to be a disaster that takes responsibility for their own mistakes than one that needs babying well into adulthood. Taking a doing for a dirty tackle when mummy is too far away to run to is a good lesson in life. One that the X-Box ruined child who must be watched is being deprived of.
Strolling in the direction of the point. It seems clear to me that there is a choice before us. We can either succumb to the fear and paranoia or we can get on with the task of decent commonsense child rearing. That means letting them off the leash from time to time, not the harsh, judgemental, parental eyes scorching their skin 24 hours a day. From the moment we are conceived we are at risk of abortion, miscarriage, still birth, accident, fatal illness and murder. Let's just concentrate on making the time children have enjoyable, whatever moral and legal right to life they may have, human evil, brutality and perversity can appear at anytime. Better to jail the perpetrator after the act than stunt whole generation for their own good, on the off chance.
Failing that do not breed and get a cat. Or become a maiden aunt as I will be, God willing, from November.
Cheerio
The next person who smugly proclaims that the parents of the abducted infant Madeleine McCann or 'Maddy' as she is presumptuously being called by the press, are to blame is getting a sore face. The last time I checked the holiday resorts of Portugal were not war zones. It seems to me perfectly reasonable to leave a child in a nearby room to eat one's dinner in peace.
In truth, I really pity the modern child. I spent most of my childhood wishing my parents would get out my face. Yet by modern standards I was neglected, spending my summers wandering about 'the field' or down the park playing football with the lads. I was also fond of camping expeditions in various neighbours gardens. Similarly snowy winters were spent hurling snowballs and sledging down 'the cliff' (now a steep set of stairs in hideous Barratt scheme). Worse than that, around the age of eight I was deemed capable of walking to school alone and since six was only walked halfway.
To which some smartarse will no doubt hold me up as an example of the pitfalls of lax parenting. All I can say is that my parents aren't to blame for me, my brother has turned out well, I'm just a genetic throwback to some earlier horror. I am a mess of my own making and in that is my defence of a balanced approach. Better to be a disaster that takes responsibility for their own mistakes than one that needs babying well into adulthood. Taking a doing for a dirty tackle when mummy is too far away to run to is a good lesson in life. One that the X-Box ruined child who must be watched is being deprived of.
Strolling in the direction of the point. It seems clear to me that there is a choice before us. We can either succumb to the fear and paranoia or we can get on with the task of decent commonsense child rearing. That means letting them off the leash from time to time, not the harsh, judgemental, parental eyes scorching their skin 24 hours a day. From the moment we are conceived we are at risk of abortion, miscarriage, still birth, accident, fatal illness and murder. Let's just concentrate on making the time children have enjoyable, whatever moral and legal right to life they may have, human evil, brutality and perversity can appear at anytime. Better to jail the perpetrator after the act than stunt whole generation for their own good, on the off chance.
Failing that do not breed and get a cat. Or become a maiden aunt as I will be, God willing, from November.
Cheerio
4/20/2007
Oh Lordy Here Come The Nazis......
' Our time is comming
Tommoro Belongs To Me' -BNP Supporter -Stormfront Web Forum
Vote BNP if you don't want the whole of London and Britain, turning into the ape and reptile enclosures of London Zoo!' -BNP Member -Stormfront Web Forum
Hello,
As I'm sure we are all aware following last week's laughable party political broadcast the BNP are fielding thirty-two morons for election next month. What a bunch they are!
First up we have Kenny Smith standing in Glasgow, he's hard to describe really, though freaky, Nazi geek isn't a bad start.
Tommoro Belongs To Me' -BNP Supporter -Stormfront Web Forum
Vote BNP if you don't want the whole of London and Britain, turning into the ape and reptile enclosures of London Zoo!' -BNP Member -Stormfront Web Forum
Hello,
As I'm sure we are all aware following last week's laughable party political broadcast the BNP are fielding thirty-two morons for election next month. What a bunch they are!
First up we have Kenny Smith standing in Glasgow, he's hard to describe really, though freaky, Nazi geek isn't a bad start.
'SMITH sickened neighbours on his native Lewis by waving a swastika flag on Hitler's birthday.
As Scottish secretary, he vets potential recruits to the BNP and introduces them to their members and officials.
Smith is known for smooth-talking in public and projects himself as the acceptable face of the party. But in private, he is quick to launch into racist bile.'
Imagine living next door to that!
Next up is David Kerr, his hobbies include goosestepping in the vicinity of brown skinned people in an effort to start a race war. I'm not making this up!
'PART of BNP's security team and a candidate in national elections, Kerr is a key player in Scotland.
He was among 58 fans prevented from attending Scotland's match with Norway in Bordeaux, France, during the 1998 World Cup.
Kerr, from Port Glasgow, has organised marches in areas with large ethnic minority populations in the hope of provoking 'race war'.'
Steven Blake is the closet to what passes for normal in that he hasn't been caught masturbating in Nazi regalia- yet. Though he is a fan of some foreign imports....
'THE top-rated BNP political candidate in Scotland, he stood in the Euro elections this year but got less than two per cent of the vote. He runs an IT firm in Stirlingshire but business contacts are unaware of his shadowy politics.
Blake is responsible for the BNP's website, and in the 1980s he imported hardcore Nazi material from the US. He runs Digital Scotland, an IT firm who list work for Edinburgh Cyrenians, a respectable homelessness charity , in their portfolio.
The charity confirmed they had paid the company up to £5000 to run their website but emphasised they were unaware of BNP links.'
It's business as usual for southside uberned Scott McLean
'BNP national deputy chairman and Scotland's regional organiser .
He stood at recent Euro elections and preaches on 'family values'.
Yet, he was photographed giving a Nazi salute at a 'Blood and Honour' Nazi skinhead festival in Scotland. McLean, 33, is a former Glasgow City Council joiner who quit after his views were revealed.
He was involved in gang fights between whites and Asians while at Bellahouston Academy . He joined the BNP aged 18. He has mixed with BNP extremists and others throughout Europe, including members of the notorious Combat 18 Nazi gang.'
What an impressive C.V.
I wonder what Charlie Baillie, another of the 32 BNP candidates makes of all this Nazi love as he took part in the BNP's Rememberance Sunday ceremony. Good Lord! What are they mourning the loss of Nazi life in WW2?
We also have Gary Raikes who apparently takes a dim view of anti-social behaviour. He will, I'm sure be having a stern word with a few of his fellow candidates about their antics.
Walter Hamilton is a particularly disgusting, reprehensible piece of shit who's 'finest' hour to date has been his attempt to exploit the death of Kriss Donald, by hassling his family to win BNP votes.
This next lot will presumably not be displaying much local knowledge having been imported from down south to make up the shortfall.
'Among the candidates in the Highlands and Islands region for the Scottish parliament elections is Roger Robertson, a south-east England organiser. The Lothians sees Sadie Graham from the East Midlands and Tim Rait, who unsuccessfully stood in Maidenhead in the 2005 general election. Mid Scotland and Fife has Michaela MacKenzie, who stood in Warwickshire North two years ago. Meanwhile, the West of Scotland region has Kevin Scott, north-east of England regional organiser.'
The last thing Scottish politics needs is more cretins. Fingers crossed for 32 lost deposits.
Cheerio
4/15/2007
A Code Of Conduct For Bloggers
Hello,
Is there no part of my life that is free from botherers? I have just received an email telling, yes telling me to become a protestant. Obviously I emailed back and said I'd love to but first you need to do something about the lack of visuals, incense and how about adopting few Voodoo rituals. Believe me that is the last time I ever ask the Wee Free's a serious theological question.
Anyway some sort of code of conduct for bloggers has been brought to my attention. Oh for Christ's sake just cock off! Is nothing sacred? All I ever wanted in life was a space to act the goat in without someone moaning that I'd trod on their prize marrow. Now we have this set of rules. To be fair they are voluntary -for now.
There is no need for it whatsoever. I find myself reminded of those kiss-arse children I was incarcerated at school with. Do you know that at one point they took at petition to the headmaster asking for the uniform rules to be enforced? And had the nerve to call me immature for sneering at them! Why in God's name would anyone campaign to have one of their meagre freedoms taken away?
As time goes by I start to relate to those Americans that live in shacks in the mountains with 526 rifles and mistrust the government.
If you don't want to read me, then fuck off! Now that is a code of conduct.
Cheerio
Is there no part of my life that is free from botherers? I have just received an email telling, yes telling me to become a protestant. Obviously I emailed back and said I'd love to but first you need to do something about the lack of visuals, incense and how about adopting few Voodoo rituals. Believe me that is the last time I ever ask the Wee Free's a serious theological question.
Anyway some sort of code of conduct for bloggers has been brought to my attention. Oh for Christ's sake just cock off! Is nothing sacred? All I ever wanted in life was a space to act the goat in without someone moaning that I'd trod on their prize marrow. Now we have this set of rules. To be fair they are voluntary -for now.
There is no need for it whatsoever. I find myself reminded of those kiss-arse children I was incarcerated at school with. Do you know that at one point they took at petition to the headmaster asking for the uniform rules to be enforced? And had the nerve to call me immature for sneering at them! Why in God's name would anyone campaign to have one of their meagre freedoms taken away?
As time goes by I start to relate to those Americans that live in shacks in the mountains with 526 rifles and mistrust the government.
If you don't want to read me, then fuck off! Now that is a code of conduct.
Cheerio
4/12/2007
Contemplating Forming A Vigilante Group
Hello,
There are times when I understand how readers of the Daily Mail feel. Take this morning for example, there I was enjoying the first fag of the day when the Scottish news came on with quite the most appalling tale I've heard in some time.
For those of you lucky enough to have been spared, prepare yourself because this is vile beyond words. A young woman was minding her own business, pushing her pram, when a group of...well how would you describe them?.. a sort of sub-breed of shit?....scum?, took exception to her presence and started hurling stones and abuse. It has been suggested that it was racially motivated, though in my view racism alone cannot account for what happened -the beginning of the end of human civilisation might be nearer the mark.
Personally I was sharpening my kitchen knives at that point but it gets worse. One of the group then decided to attempt a bit of sexual assault on the woman and her baby. In broad daylight. In front of his friends.
As I've said before I take a pretty bleak view of human nature. We're a bunch of animals but for the most part are restrained by civilisation and society. Even the worst criminals are secretive, they may choose to ignore law and morality but at least they are aware of them.
Exactly how depraved do you need to be to get together with your friends to verbally, physically and sexually assault a woman and a one year old child? I don't buy all this stuff that the police are coming out with about the other men possibly being disgusted by what the one who went on to attempt the sexual assault did and reporting him. They are as guilty as he is. There were three of them and one of him. They could have stopped it any time they wanted. They did not, which makes them complicit.
It's certainly uncivilised but I sincerely hope the lot of them are gang-raped, tortured and slaughtered by an angry mob. I'm sure if someone filmed it, they'd have a sure fire hit on their hands. Failing that could we have a bit of police brutality when they are arrested, please?
Cheers
There are times when I understand how readers of the Daily Mail feel. Take this morning for example, there I was enjoying the first fag of the day when the Scottish news came on with quite the most appalling tale I've heard in some time.
For those of you lucky enough to have been spared, prepare yourself because this is vile beyond words. A young woman was minding her own business, pushing her pram, when a group of...well how would you describe them?.. a sort of sub-breed of shit?....scum?, took exception to her presence and started hurling stones and abuse. It has been suggested that it was racially motivated, though in my view racism alone cannot account for what happened -the beginning of the end of human civilisation might be nearer the mark.
Personally I was sharpening my kitchen knives at that point but it gets worse. One of the group then decided to attempt a bit of sexual assault on the woman and her baby. In broad daylight. In front of his friends.
As I've said before I take a pretty bleak view of human nature. We're a bunch of animals but for the most part are restrained by civilisation and society. Even the worst criminals are secretive, they may choose to ignore law and morality but at least they are aware of them.
Exactly how depraved do you need to be to get together with your friends to verbally, physically and sexually assault a woman and a one year old child? I don't buy all this stuff that the police are coming out with about the other men possibly being disgusted by what the one who went on to attempt the sexual assault did and reporting him. They are as guilty as he is. There were three of them and one of him. They could have stopped it any time they wanted. They did not, which makes them complicit.
It's certainly uncivilised but I sincerely hope the lot of them are gang-raped, tortured and slaughtered by an angry mob. I'm sure if someone filmed it, they'd have a sure fire hit on their hands. Failing that could we have a bit of police brutality when they are arrested, please?
Cheers
4/08/2007
Please God Don't Let Wendy Be In Charge
Hello,
Today's Herald carries the horrifying news that if Labour lose too many seats in the forthcoming election then she-gargoyle from the very pit of hell Wendy Alexander is hoping to take over.
Almost all politicians annoy me to some extent but usually it's what they say and do that upsets me rather than, arrgh! just everything. I'm sorry but I cannot stand Wendy Alexander. I hate her face, the way she over enunciates like she's talking to a deaf foreign waiter. Honestly I can't hear a word she says without my head filling up with visions of some idiot Brit bellowing EGG. AND. CHIPS. TWICE in a Spanish tourist trap.
I'm told she's very bright but to be frank. I couldn't care less. I am not having that stupid bloody face and hellish voice running the show. Pig in knickers doesn't even begin to cover it. Oh God I'm starting to see her face when I close my eyes. I don't mind ugly people in politics, it's just that she's ugly in such an irritating way and she has that voice.
I'll lay a £20 bet with anyone that she was the class sneak at school and would cry if you borrowed her rubber and got a black mark on it. She's the sort of woman that carries wet wipes at all times and Gordon Brown likes her. In other words she's a thoroughly bad lot.
Cheerio
Today's Herald carries the horrifying news that if Labour lose too many seats in the forthcoming election then she-gargoyle from the very pit of hell Wendy Alexander is hoping to take over.
Almost all politicians annoy me to some extent but usually it's what they say and do that upsets me rather than, arrgh! just everything. I'm sorry but I cannot stand Wendy Alexander. I hate her face, the way she over enunciates like she's talking to a deaf foreign waiter. Honestly I can't hear a word she says without my head filling up with visions of some idiot Brit bellowing EGG. AND. CHIPS. TWICE in a Spanish tourist trap.
I'm told she's very bright but to be frank. I couldn't care less. I am not having that stupid bloody face and hellish voice running the show. Pig in knickers doesn't even begin to cover it. Oh God I'm starting to see her face when I close my eyes. I don't mind ugly people in politics, it's just that she's ugly in such an irritating way and she has that voice.
I'll lay a £20 bet with anyone that she was the class sneak at school and would cry if you borrowed her rubber and got a black mark on it. She's the sort of woman that carries wet wipes at all times and Gordon Brown likes her. In other words she's a thoroughly bad lot.
Cheerio
3/14/2007
The End Of The World Is Nigh.
Hello,
I like to imagine God sitting about smoking a pipe and wondering what we're all up to. Let's all pray that no-one tells him because if they do we're doomed. When I say 'we' I don't mean you or I. It's a bunch of pervos I'm on about. Namely 'sock sniffers' . Worse still they seem to be into sniffing vile, white sports socks and worst of all comedy socks. I must stress that these are used socks which if the adverts are to believed have been worn by 'chavs' and 'scallies'.
There's no law against this sort of thing or if there is it hasn't come to my attention but y'know yuck. What's the attraction in dirty socks? Why? Bearing in mind that I am a lady, can anyone explain, using carefully chosen euphemisms, what these freaks do with the socks? Is it a big joke or do they really get excited by them?
I'm amazed there hasn't been a sock related sex crime in Glasgow over the last few years. For a while all the neds were walking about with sports socks pulled up over the lower leg of their tracksuit bottoms. I did wonder what they were up to but not for a second did I imagine that they were some sort of exhibitionists on the sock scene.
All that said there appears to be an emerging used ladies tights scene and whilst I can't say I approve, if anyone would like to save me doing a washing I'm open to offers.
Cheerio
I like to imagine God sitting about smoking a pipe and wondering what we're all up to. Let's all pray that no-one tells him because if they do we're doomed. When I say 'we' I don't mean you or I. It's a bunch of pervos I'm on about. Namely 'sock sniffers' . Worse still they seem to be into sniffing vile, white sports socks and worst of all comedy socks. I must stress that these are used socks which if the adverts are to believed have been worn by 'chavs' and 'scallies'.
There's no law against this sort of thing or if there is it hasn't come to my attention but y'know yuck. What's the attraction in dirty socks? Why? Bearing in mind that I am a lady, can anyone explain, using carefully chosen euphemisms, what these freaks do with the socks? Is it a big joke or do they really get excited by them?
I'm amazed there hasn't been a sock related sex crime in Glasgow over the last few years. For a while all the neds were walking about with sports socks pulled up over the lower leg of their tracksuit bottoms. I did wonder what they were up to but not for a second did I imagine that they were some sort of exhibitionists on the sock scene.
All that said there appears to be an emerging used ladies tights scene and whilst I can't say I approve, if anyone would like to save me doing a washing I'm open to offers.
Cheerio
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