The world really needs something to take the edge off it.

Hello,
Sorry for the absence. I've been grappling with nicotine withdrawl, a diet of leftovers and no booze for a week. A whole week. Talk about depressing. I haven't decided to take up 'healthy living' or some such nonsense. I've been estranged from my bank card. To cut a long story short my card stopped working, the bank sent a replacement which has been trapped at the sorting office for a whole week.

Anyway I now have my new card and have been able to get back into the old vices again. Merciful Jesus! The terrible thing about not smoking and drinking is that it makes one think of themselves and how they feel constantly and that way depression lies. I imagine this is what rehab must be like.

It is just as well I've got my 'crutches' because I don't think the unenhanced Clairwil could have taken this horror - Tony Blair in charge of the World Bank! For heaven's sake, you'd think after the mess he's made of Britain, not to mention Iraq he'd be unemployable but no. They think he's wonderful!

Nothing's been decided as yet but it's just the sort of thing I could see Blair doing either that or something pointless in Europe. What the reports on this terrifying possibility don't mention is Cherie. The world Bank might think Paul Wolfowitz's lady friend has been a problem but imagine that grasping crow Cherie on the loose. She'll sweep through the world hoovering up freebies and I bet she'll nick the stationary whether he manages to wangle her a job or not.

Quite apart from anything else and correct me if I'm wrong but Blair doesn't have any banking experience does he? That being the case shouldn't he be starting out in the call centre or something to get a bit of experience. There is also the small matter of the question of Blair's honesty cash for peerages, WMD etc.

Why can't he just piss off to America and charge businessmen stupid sums of money to listen to him bang on about how great he is? Isn't that the normal career for ex-prime ministers. Failing that couldn't we just encase him concrete and bury him for a 100 years after which time he wouldn't be able to do any more damage?

I've seen it all now surely.....

Good Morning,
No I don't have any idea what the hell I'm doing up at this ungodly hour either. I expect the excitement of National Impotence Day compelled me to leap from my bed and make the most of what promises to be a fun packed twenty-four hours. I trust all you chaps will be keeping your flags lowered or at least at half mast for the duration. No one likes a show off!

It is also St Valentine's Day but I will be doing my best to ignore that for reasons I have discussed previously.

As if all that wasn't exciting enough, some fellow on ebay is flogging a diary containing the cure for cancer, the exact location of heaven, various prophecies and a solution for world peace as dictated to him by Jesus. Yes God's boy not someone else with the same name. I've been back to the page several times and that's what it says. Behold The Holy Diary!


It's very easy to be sceptical about this type of claim. I expect my readers in the chattering classes will be laughing and sneering in a most affected fashion even as I type. Incidentally how do you go about being chattering class? I've always fancied I'd be rather good at it. Is there a qualification or do you need to be born to it? As I was saying it's easy to be sceptical but can any of us prove that Jesus didn't dictate the diary?

Cheerio