Not One In Fifteen Whole Years
As anyone who has had the misfortune to glance at a card shop recently will be aware tomorrow is Valentines Day. I was chatting about this with a colleague in work today who asked me if I was expecting to get anything. Oh how I laughed! It then occurred to me that I haven't received so much as a card for fifteen years. I should point out that I have been in a relationship for almost eight of those years. Is a fifteen year card drought some sort of record? Now I think of it I have never once received a Valentines gift. Surely that must be a record?
I should probably point out that I haven't sent any cards either. I made that mistake in 1987 and have been careful to avoid repeating the error. It was an awful experience. I somewhat foolishly sent a card via the school delivery service to a boy in another class. In what I now realise was a delusional episode I thought he would at least have been flattered. He was not at all pleased to say the least. He was so upset he had to be sent home from school. Nothing in my short life prepared me for being considered so repulsive that receiving a Valentine card from me could provoke illness. It was the talk of first year for months. Utterly mortifying.
I need hardly say this is a very difficult time of year for me.