No I don't have any idea what the hell I'm doing up at this ungodly hour either. I expect the excitement of National Impotence Day compelled me to leap from my bed and make the most of what promises to be a fun packed twenty-four hours. I trust all you chaps will be keeping your flags lowered or at least at half mast for the duration. No one likes a show off!
It is also St Valentine's Day but I will be doing my best to ignore that for reasons I have discussed previously.
As if all that wasn't exciting enough, some fellow on ebay is flogging a diary containing the cure for cancer, the exact location of heaven, various prophecies and a solution for world peace as dictated to him by Jesus. Yes God's boy not someone else with the same name. I've been back to the page several times and that's what it says. Behold The Holy Diary!
It's very easy to be sceptical about this type of claim. I expect my readers in the chattering classes will be laughing and sneering in a most affected fashion even as I type. Incidentally how do you go about being chattering class? I've always fancied I'd be rather good at it. Is there a qualification or do you need to be born to it? As I was saying it's easy to be sceptical but can any of us prove that Jesus didn't dictate the diary?