Hello,
Sorry for the absence. I've been grappling with nicotine withdrawl, a diet of leftovers and no booze for a week. A whole week. Talk about depressing. I haven't decided to take up 'healthy living' or some such nonsense. I've been estranged from my bank card. To cut a long story short my card stopped working, the bank sent a replacement which has been trapped at the sorting office for a whole week.
Anyway I now have my new card and have been able to get back into the old vices again. Merciful Jesus! The terrible thing about not smoking and drinking is that it makes one think of themselves and how they feel constantly and that way depression lies. I imagine this is what rehab must be like.
It is just as well I've got my 'crutches' because I don't think the unenhanced Clairwil could have taken this horror - Tony Blair in charge of the World Bank! For heaven's sake, you'd think after the mess he's made of Britain, not to mention Iraq he'd be unemployable but no. They think he's wonderful!
Nothing's been decided as yet but it's just the sort of thing I could see Blair doing either that or something pointless in Europe. What the reports on this terrifying possibility don't mention is Cherie. The world Bank might think Paul Wolfowitz's lady friend has been a problem but imagine that grasping crow Cherie on the loose. She'll sweep through the world hoovering up freebies and I bet she'll nick the stationary whether he manages to wangle her a job or not.
Quite apart from anything else and correct me if I'm wrong but Blair doesn't have any banking experience does he? That being the case shouldn't he be starting out in the call centre or something to get a bit of experience. There is also the small matter of the question of Blair's honesty cash for peerages, WMD etc.
Why can't he just piss off to America and charge businessmen stupid sums of money to listen to him bang on about how great he is? Isn't that the normal career for ex-prime ministers. Failing that couldn't we just encase him concrete and bury him for a 100 years after which time he wouldn't be able to do any more damage?
Showing posts with label blair. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blair. Show all posts
5/03/2007
It's Shite Being Scottish.......
Hello,
Using the highly sophisticated technique of eavesdropping on buses, shop queues and work, I have arrived at the conclusion that Labour's reign of incompetence is set to continue for another four years in Scotland.
The consensus amongst permed pensioners is that Labour are shite but so is everyone else so we all might as well vote Labour. Good God, don't they get bored? If you want a vision of Scotland's future imagine Terry Kelly fighting a lampost forever.
I have voted of course, though for all the difference my votes ever make I might as well have thrown myself under a racehorse in protest at life under Labour. Honestly if they get in at the next election I think we should start some sort of armed resistance movement.
Let's hope I'm wrong.
Cheerio
Using the highly sophisticated technique of eavesdropping on buses, shop queues and work, I have arrived at the conclusion that Labour's reign of incompetence is set to continue for another four years in Scotland.
The consensus amongst permed pensioners is that Labour are shite but so is everyone else so we all might as well vote Labour. Good God, don't they get bored? If you want a vision of Scotland's future imagine Terry Kelly fighting a lampost forever.
I have voted of course, though for all the difference my votes ever make I might as well have thrown myself under a racehorse in protest at life under Labour. Honestly if they get in at the next election I think we should start some sort of armed resistance movement.
Let's hope I'm wrong.
Cheerio
4/08/2007
Something Else We're Not Allowed To Do......
If you fancy dressing up as Charlie Chaplin just be careful where you do it.
4/07/2007
Are They All On Drugs?
That's it. That is the fucking limit. It was only a matter of time before the government sent me 100% batshit fucking doolally mental. For the love of God what is wrong with them? I'm just looking out the window and daily life is going on as normal. What's wrong? Why aren't there riots? A revolution? We are being governed by cunting robots? They must be stopped.
I was just over at Tom Tylers blog when I chanced upon this cracker from Patrica Hewitt commenting on the British sailors taken hostage in Iran;
"It was deplorable that the woman hostage should be shown smoking. This sends completely the wrong message to our young people."
It's extraordinary, almost unbelievable. A member of the British government switches on the TV to see some British sailors taken hostage by Iran and thinks 'tsk, smoking'. Exactly how much of a health Nazi does one need to be to react like that? Frankly I'm amazed she doesn't want to prosecute her for smoking in the workplace.
I despair.
Some good stuff up over at TerryWatch
I was just over at Tom Tylers blog when I chanced upon this cracker from Patrica Hewitt commenting on the British sailors taken hostage in Iran;
"It was deplorable that the woman hostage should be shown smoking. This sends completely the wrong message to our young people."
It's extraordinary, almost unbelievable. A member of the British government switches on the TV to see some British sailors taken hostage by Iran and thinks 'tsk, smoking'. Exactly how much of a health Nazi does one need to be to react like that? Frankly I'm amazed she doesn't want to prosecute her for smoking in the workplace.
I despair.
Some good stuff up over at TerryWatch
2/15/2007
Tony Blair Is Scared Of Me!
Hello,
I was somewhat surprised to be greeted by a baying mob on leaving the house this afternoon. Never one to flee from trouble I collared one of them to ask what the meaning of this extraordinary outburst was. You will imagine my surprise and delight when the chap advised me that they were waiting for 'that cunt Blair' who had dropped in to the City Halls.
Well I have always wanted to give Tony Blair a piece of my mind, so I abandoned my plans and waited and waited and waited. I noted that the assembled crowd seemed to be quite competitive about how much they each hate Blair. It was wonderful, people were purple with rage about a whole range of issues. Truly there was something for everyone, well apart from Blair fans.
Anyway it transpired that Tony had to sneak out of another exit because the crowd had got so irate. Ha ha ha! Ten years ago he would have been out grinning at us in his usual obsequious manner, now he's forced to flee like a common criminal.
Still his visit to Glasgow isn't over yet, let's hope he hasn't seen the last of the angry mob.
Cheers
I was somewhat surprised to be greeted by a baying mob on leaving the house this afternoon. Never one to flee from trouble I collared one of them to ask what the meaning of this extraordinary outburst was. You will imagine my surprise and delight when the chap advised me that they were waiting for 'that cunt Blair' who had dropped in to the City Halls.
Well I have always wanted to give Tony Blair a piece of my mind, so I abandoned my plans and waited and waited and waited. I noted that the assembled crowd seemed to be quite competitive about how much they each hate Blair. It was wonderful, people were purple with rage about a whole range of issues. Truly there was something for everyone, well apart from Blair fans.
Anyway it transpired that Tony had to sneak out of another exit because the crowd had got so irate. Ha ha ha! Ten years ago he would have been out grinning at us in his usual obsequious manner, now he's forced to flee like a common criminal.
Still his visit to Glasgow isn't over yet, let's hope he hasn't seen the last of the angry mob.
Cheers
2/03/2007
I Can Heal The Sick
Hello,
Until I read this I thought I'd never be amazed at the outlandish claims made by a politician again, you know the type of thing I mean, the NHS is having it's best year ever and so on.
Anyway it would appear that President Yahya Jammeh of Gambia is something of a one man health service. Believe me I really wish I was making this up but I'm not. He reckons that he can cure HIV, AIDS, asthma using secret herbs. To be fair I have no proof that he can't. I may be doing the man a huge disservice, though I suspect if the big pharmaceutical companies believed he had discovered such an inexpensive cure, they would shoot him, patent the secret herbs and flog them at an enormous profit.
I have to say I've always been half expecting Tony Blair to make an outrageous claim of that nature. There's just something about him, like he's tried to walk on water down the public baths when he thinks no-one's looking. Perhaps he's waiting until he's in the witness box before demonstrating his magic powers. Not that I am for a second implying that these magic powers would extend to anything as underhand as convenient memory loss or disappearing evidence.
Can you imagine Blair in court, the halting delivery, the wounded expression? Oh go on, it'd make a stone laugh. If I were the judge I'd take a firm line with the blighter. Allowing him to do his 'pausing' trick will only lead to the trial lasting for decades. Think of the expense! Incidentally does anyone know what that pausing thing is meant to achieve? To me it looks like the signals between his mouth and his brain keep getting interrupted. Faulty wiring of some sort I expect.
Later I may post a tale of mayhem in a pie factory. I'm not making that up either.
Cheerio
Until I read this I thought I'd never be amazed at the outlandish claims made by a politician again, you know the type of thing I mean, the NHS is having it's best year ever and so on.
Anyway it would appear that President Yahya Jammeh of Gambia is something of a one man health service. Believe me I really wish I was making this up but I'm not. He reckons that he can cure HIV, AIDS, asthma using secret herbs. To be fair I have no proof that he can't. I may be doing the man a huge disservice, though I suspect if the big pharmaceutical companies believed he had discovered such an inexpensive cure, they would shoot him, patent the secret herbs and flog them at an enormous profit.
I have to say I've always been half expecting Tony Blair to make an outrageous claim of that nature. There's just something about him, like he's tried to walk on water down the public baths when he thinks no-one's looking. Perhaps he's waiting until he's in the witness box before demonstrating his magic powers. Not that I am for a second implying that these magic powers would extend to anything as underhand as convenient memory loss or disappearing evidence.
Can you imagine Blair in court, the halting delivery, the wounded expression? Oh go on, it'd make a stone laugh. If I were the judge I'd take a firm line with the blighter. Allowing him to do his 'pausing' trick will only lead to the trial lasting for decades. Think of the expense! Incidentally does anyone know what that pausing thing is meant to achieve? To me it looks like the signals between his mouth and his brain keep getting interrupted. Faulty wiring of some sort I expect.
Later I may post a tale of mayhem in a pie factory. I'm not making that up either.
Cheerio
12/26/2006
Bono Has Ruined My Christmas
Hello,
I'm not proud of this but I used to be rather fond of Mr Bono. Yes I realised he could be an utter tool at times but he has large hips and a sense of humour which I find rather appealing. Oh fuck it he was a borderline boiler for me.
Imagine being 31 and feeling let down by a pop star, let alone cunting Bono out of U2. As I say I always thought he was an arse but I truly believed he was a well intentioned arse. I remember seeing U2 at the SECC in Glasgow a few years back. Bono picked a girl out of the audience to jiggle about with, she was right next to me so what he was thinking I cannot imagine. Anyway as he pulled her onto the stage, his face fell slightly as he noticed the tattooed knuckles -'Mags' on the left hand and 'Paul' on the right. That aside I was most impressed at Mr Bono's professionalism as he proceeded to treat her like a normal person. Better men than Bono would have called security. I thought to myself there is a man with the common touch, he could eat pies with cockneys. Rather like a leather clad Queen Mum.
Now not only has it been brought to my attention that he is a tax evader but he's accepted a bauble from the British. No true Irish gentleman would behave in such a fashion. For fucks sake no rock star, however lame should behave in such a fashion. Really he should be kicked out of decent society. What a cunt. I'm all for writing off third world debt, I don't have Sir Bono's media attention to do much in the way of campaigning, what I can do is pay my taxes and give my country some money to do it with. The worthiness of the issue is not the point. How dare some multi-millionaire tight-wad come along and lecture people on low wages on how they should press for their tax money to be spent. If he lived a less self indulgent lifestyle and gave his money to third world charities he could improve and save hundreds if not thousands of lives. Instead he weasels out of paying tax that wouldn't affect his lifestyle one iota and expects bus drivers, cleaners, hairdressers and security guards to pick up the tab. Let them eat cake indeed!
The title is just the final gesture of contempt. If I were offered a bauble, I'd wonder where I'd gone wrong in life. Then I'd tell them to shove it. There is no force on earth that would make me kneel before that freeloading trash in Buck House. Worse still it makes the government look like it cares. How could anyone accept a 'prize' from the filth that govern us? An honour from King Tony should be about as welcome as a childcare prize from Ian Huntley. For Christ's sake a civilised society would have lynched Blair years ago.
I'm fairly relaxed about non-famous types accepting honours even though it's something I wouldn't do myself. For example someone working for a small charity is likely to see donations increase following the publicity from their 'honour'. I don't mind people sacrificing their reputation for the greater good. In fact I almost wish I was that selfless but what on earth has Sir Bono got to gain? As a rock star it just makes him an even bigger laughing stock, he's not short of publicity. The only explanation is that he wants approval from the establishment. What a sook! I'm sure it won't worry him unduly but every word he says from now on will be suspect to me. In fact I shall ignore him. Bono does not exist. He has never existed.
Cheerio
I'm not proud of this but I used to be rather fond of Mr Bono. Yes I realised he could be an utter tool at times but he has large hips and a sense of humour which I find rather appealing. Oh fuck it he was a borderline boiler for me.
Imagine being 31 and feeling let down by a pop star, let alone cunting Bono out of U2. As I say I always thought he was an arse but I truly believed he was a well intentioned arse. I remember seeing U2 at the SECC in Glasgow a few years back. Bono picked a girl out of the audience to jiggle about with, she was right next to me so what he was thinking I cannot imagine. Anyway as he pulled her onto the stage, his face fell slightly as he noticed the tattooed knuckles -'Mags' on the left hand and 'Paul' on the right. That aside I was most impressed at Mr Bono's professionalism as he proceeded to treat her like a normal person. Better men than Bono would have called security. I thought to myself there is a man with the common touch, he could eat pies with cockneys. Rather like a leather clad Queen Mum.
Now not only has it been brought to my attention that he is a tax evader but he's accepted a bauble from the British. No true Irish gentleman would behave in such a fashion. For fucks sake no rock star, however lame should behave in such a fashion. Really he should be kicked out of decent society. What a cunt. I'm all for writing off third world debt, I don't have Sir Bono's media attention to do much in the way of campaigning, what I can do is pay my taxes and give my country some money to do it with. The worthiness of the issue is not the point. How dare some multi-millionaire tight-wad come along and lecture people on low wages on how they should press for their tax money to be spent. If he lived a less self indulgent lifestyle and gave his money to third world charities he could improve and save hundreds if not thousands of lives. Instead he weasels out of paying tax that wouldn't affect his lifestyle one iota and expects bus drivers, cleaners, hairdressers and security guards to pick up the tab. Let them eat cake indeed!
The title is just the final gesture of contempt. If I were offered a bauble, I'd wonder where I'd gone wrong in life. Then I'd tell them to shove it. There is no force on earth that would make me kneel before that freeloading trash in Buck House. Worse still it makes the government look like it cares. How could anyone accept a 'prize' from the filth that govern us? An honour from King Tony should be about as welcome as a childcare prize from Ian Huntley. For Christ's sake a civilised society would have lynched Blair years ago.
I'm fairly relaxed about non-famous types accepting honours even though it's something I wouldn't do myself. For example someone working for a small charity is likely to see donations increase following the publicity from their 'honour'. I don't mind people sacrificing their reputation for the greater good. In fact I almost wish I was that selfless but what on earth has Sir Bono got to gain? As a rock star it just makes him an even bigger laughing stock, he's not short of publicity. The only explanation is that he wants approval from the establishment. What a sook! I'm sure it won't worry him unduly but every word he says from now on will be suspect to me. In fact I shall ignore him. Bono does not exist. He has never existed.
Cheerio
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