Bono Has Ruined My Christmas

Hello,
I'm not proud of this but I used to be rather fond of Mr Bono. Yes I realised he could be an utter tool at times but he has large hips and a sense of humour which I find rather appealing. Oh fuck it he was a borderline boiler for me.

Imagine being 31 and feeling let down by a pop star, let alone cunting Bono out of U2. As I say I always thought he was an arse but I truly believed he was a well intentioned arse. I remember seeing U2 at the SECC in Glasgow a few years back. Bono picked a girl out of the audience to jiggle about with, she was right next to me so what he was thinking I cannot imagine. Anyway as he pulled her onto the stage, his face fell slightly as he noticed the tattooed knuckles -'Mags' on the left hand and 'Paul' on the right. That aside I was most impressed at Mr Bono's professionalism as he proceeded to treat her like a normal person. Better men than Bono would have called security. I thought to myself there is a man with the common touch, he could eat pies with cockneys. Rather like a leather clad Queen Mum.

Now not only has it been brought to my attention that he is a tax evader but he's accepted a bauble from the British. No true Irish gentleman would behave in such a fashion. For fucks sake no rock star, however lame should behave in such a fashion. Really he should be kicked out of decent society. What a cunt. I'm all for writing off third world debt, I don't have Sir Bono's media attention to do much in the way of campaigning, what I can do is pay my taxes and give my country some money to do it with. The worthiness of the issue is not the point. How dare some multi-millionaire tight-wad come along and lecture people on low wages on how they should press for their tax money to be spent. If he lived a less self indulgent lifestyle and gave his money to third world charities he could improve and save hundreds if not thousands of lives. Instead he weasels out of paying tax that wouldn't affect his lifestyle one iota and expects bus drivers, cleaners, hairdressers and security guards to pick up the tab. Let them eat cake indeed!

The title is just the final gesture of contempt. If I were offered a bauble, I'd wonder where I'd gone wrong in life. Then I'd tell them to shove it. There is no force on earth that would make me kneel before that freeloading trash in Buck House. Worse still it makes the government look like it cares. How could anyone accept a 'prize' from the filth that govern us? An honour from King Tony should be about as welcome as a childcare prize from Ian Huntley. For Christ's sake a civilised society would have lynched Blair years ago.

I'm fairly relaxed about non-famous types accepting honours even though it's something I wouldn't do myself. For example someone working for a small charity is likely to see donations increase following the publicity from their 'honour'. I don't mind people sacrificing their reputation for the greater good. In fact I almost wish I was that selfless but what on earth has Sir Bono got to gain? As a rock star it just makes him an even bigger laughing stock, he's not short of publicity. The only explanation is that he wants approval from the establishment. What a sook! I'm sure it won't worry him unduly but every word he says from now on will be suspect to me. In fact I shall ignore him. Bono does not exist. He has never existed.

Cheerio