12/23/2006

The World's Most Inept Pornographers

Hello,
A very dear gentleman friend of mine brought this masterpiece of erotic comedy to my attention. That he was watching on a night where he normally sees me is something I choose to overlook. Some facts are better left without analysis if one is to keep what's left of one's self-esteem.

Anyway this wonderful piece of Glaswegian amateur porn features the lovely Adele from Bellshill, who turns in a non-plussed performance that will stay with me forever. I am no expert on the production of home made pornography, not that I haven't had the opportunity I might add. Lord knows what that would have been called -'Sarky drunk bird attempts shag mid fag'? Thankfully modesty prevailed and the world was spared Clairwil in action.

To wander back towards the point, as I said I'm no expert in amateur porn but if I was directing some I would forbid the male star to wear socks. I cannot bear the sight of a man wearing nothing but his socks. It's unseemly. If by some tragic accident he accidentially booted the female star in the snatch, I'm not sure I would include that scene. In fact I am certain I would not. That said the dialogue is superb, well in the bits where the sound hasn't cut out. It's hard to say which bit I enjoyed most, the shouts of encouragement from the camera man or poor Adele's protest that she'd only come over because she thought they were going out or Adele's terrifying screech of 'who're you fuckin slappin?'. God isn't that a pain, you're all dolled up for a night out and a couple of neds rope you into their camera phone porno, then one of them has effortery to slap you mid blow job.

I need hardly say that these are not work friendly clips but they are the funniest thing I've seen in years.

Cheerio

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

"gies a good porno face".

HAHAHAHAH. Fucking excellent.

As it were.

iLL Man said...

"Is it nae fun fur you?, you're gettin' pumped!"

Jaw dropping.

Clairwil said...

It's fab. Spread the word. I can't stop thinking about it.

Anonymous said...

Sex? what's that? Sorry, been single fer too long, can't remember....

ANyway, happy fucking pagan festival, int it? Hope you get what you want (arf, arf!) etc.

:)

SD

Clairwil said...

Happy Christmas to you all.

Sorry Margin I didn't mean to destroy your libido.

Anonymous said...

I have to disagree, that gave me the horn something rotten!

Adele, how I do I love thee? let me count the ways.............

Clairwil said...

There is a certain 'this so is wrong but it feels so right' quality to it.

Adele is wonderful. I'm slightly in love with her.

Bock the Robber said...

I suppose you'd have to call them fucking knackers.