Hello,
It may be that I have an unusually suspicious nature but I can't help but think this fellow over at The Guardian is being somewhat naive.
Mr Kennedy is somewhat indignant to find out that an organic food chain by the name of 'Whole Foods' isn't quite as wholesome as it's marketing hopes you'll believe. I know I can hardly believe it myself! Can it be true? Do we live in a world where marketing firms are paid millions to churn out any old bollocks to prise the pennies from our purses?
I can't even be bothered going into the terrible events that caused the scales to fall from his eyes. I shall merely ask whether his apparent distress at the sight of a bottle of Heinz tomato ketchup means his life is easier or much harder than everyone elses. On the one hand he's lucky that's all he has to worry him but on the other, life cannot be easy if condiments bring on a fit of the vapours. Mind you he's lucky it was Heinz -he'd no doubt be horrified at some of the inferior brands most supermarkets will try and palm you off with. The worst offenders are cafes -what these fiends try to pass of as HP ought to banned.
I'm a bit surprised at the ruler of Whole Foods being so open about selling junk to naive toffs. If I was him I'd be arranging my face into a suitably Christ like expression of compassion and emoting about pesticides and children, casually chucking in that 'we at Whole Foods sell organic stuff' -that's bound to be worth a few extra sales once the parents of Georgie, Jack and Jemima get all hysterical at the idea their little seedlings are being poisoned.
I must say the Guardian is superb at the moment, absolutely superb. Mr Eugenides very kindly draws our attention their 'I've Changed My Mind' series in which contributors affect to have undergone some some change in their thinking but which lead me to suspect someone, possibly Viz might have infiltrated The Guardian offices in order to play a terrible prank on us all. The one by a repentant 'Modern Parent' type is quite wonderful especially for the bewildered cry of 'he'd never watched anything more violent than Teletubbies'.
In fairness most of the 'I've changed my mind..' article read like those awful school essays one was forced to write about the holidays in which one had to cobble assorted imaginary incidents together to fufil the one page of foolscap, both sides brief. I expect with the credit crunch they all need the money for organic sunblushed foie gras roulades or what ever it is they're into these days.
Cheerio
Showing posts with label fools. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fools. Show all posts
12/29/2009
11/02/2009
Look!
Hello,
It's not the most startling or original observation in the world but I am compelled to repeat it -Sting and his awful wife are tools of the devil. Look at them. I've seen people assaulted for less. Come to think of it I've been assaulted for less.
Cheerio
It's not the most startling or original observation in the world but I am compelled to repeat it -Sting and his awful wife are tools of the devil. Look at them. I've seen people assaulted for less. Come to think of it I've been assaulted for less.
Cheerio
4/18/2008
Old Goats
Hello,
I like watching rich loopers implode as much as the rest of you. Don't even bother denying it -you do. But I'm slightly alarmed by this uprising of the common man in defence of vain rich tossers being taken to the cleaners by their younger, sexier and smarter wives.
I find the notion of marrying someone for their cash shabby and demeaning but as my mother is always telling me that is the rock I will perish on. You can see she thinks highly of my talents can't you?
That said do any of these men who manage to attract foxy, young blondes half their age actually believe these women would pay them any attention if they were on the dole or in low paid work? I'm afraid I can't work up much sympathy for poor Paul McCartney or poor Phil Smith. Either they willingly subjected their wives to their wrinkly charms not caring that any young woman would find them repulsive or they were so monstrously vain and lacking in self awareness that they actually believed themselves to be attractive to young women.
They chose to treat the institution of marriage like hiring a hooker. These ladies charge by the hour, slights, humiliation and the embarrassment of being seen with a coffin dodger in public would I imagine cost extra.
Sorry but I disbelieve Mrs Walsh-Smith's claims of no sex. It's a nice try but a it simply isn't credible that he was with her for brains and companionship. Despite being very much on her side I'd be homicidal after a minute in her company. Heather Mills is of course a different story -if she drank we'd be bosom buddies but otherwise I love the way she got out the gutter with a combination of grit, tit and cunning.
Marriage serves many functions romantic, religious, social duty and a business contact between two adults. If Richard Branson signed a contract giving half his empire to a penniless teenage lovely then whined when they fell out with him a walked off with half the business , we'd all hoot and doubt his business judgement. Why some repellent old goat that won't play with girls his own age is deserving of sympathy is a mystery to me. Could you imagine share holders who'd lost a fortune accepting the excuse that the chairman of the company signed a bad contact because he had the horn?
Might I suggest the 'victims' of these awful golddiggers accept responsibility for their own lives. Learn the lessons lads. Go and see a performance of Carmen and accept that any woman is more poweful than any man, provided she has an ounce of cunning. Swot up on Princess Di, a genuis at the art of manipulation -how else do you explain 'thicky' Spencer causing a collective nervous breakdown at the palace with a contemptuous smirk masked by a few forced tears?
Rich men who try to make a saving on the hourly rate charged by escorts by marrying a dollybird deserve all thats coming to them. Pay the bill.
As a girlie I have to accept that I'll never throw a punch like Tyson, need to watch what I drink, where I go, carry a rape alarm and a defender spray when I go out at night. Similarly men need to watch who they let in on the financial action. I need to do the same -not that I've got much to take but there are people with less than me. Frankly if marrying a golddigger was all I had to worry about I'd be laughing. No better stupidity fine has been invented than golddigging and for that reason alone I'm all for it.
Cheerio
4/13/2008
Human Stupidity
Hello,
I shall mark this week down in my diary as the week I witnessed so much human stupidity I began to feel like a lonely intellectual with only my lute and protractor for company. Where do I begin?
Well I watched the apprentice for the first time in years. I'm only preparing to be self employed again and Lord knows I wouldn't like to be judged on my track record last time around but do the contestant's mothers know they are out? Do they have mothers or were they spawned in petri dishes? Throughout that programme all I could hear was my grandmother saying empty cans rattle the loudest. Quite remarkable if amusing in a somewhat cruel fashion. Can it be long before Sir Alan goes on a machine gun rampage?
Later in the week I saw a young mum and a young mum to be having a heated discussion about something that could only be of importance to the sort of people who appear on the Jeremy Kyle Show. It's hard to say who won given that the entire squabble managed to pass under my head but the moment that will stay with me to the grave is young mum threatening to boot mum be in the bump. More alarming still she was cheered on by her bovine mates for this. I was horrified enough at the young men present for joining in but for a group of young women including several mothers to applaud someone for in effect threatening to induce an abortion is disgusting. I have not of course overlooked the fact that mum to be was giving as good as she got on the threats front.
When I was a schoolgirl a number of my school friends found themselves suddenly pregnant. Without exception this had such a calming effect on them I always suspected it might have been hormone induced. Lord knows how one would account for the behaviour mentioned above. Perhaps Farmfoods are putting something in their icepoles.
We also had several young chaps into our surgery with their parents for advice on the best way to throw said young chaps out the house. What could have brought on such a display of tough love? What crime had these boys committed? Well the young fellows had spoken to careers advisers and decided to get jobs. To be fair one of the boys was going into insurance but until that racket is made illegal then he shouldn't be judged. Apparently if the boys take up work their parents benefits would be affected. The boys protestations that they would pay dig money fell on deaf ears. I only met with one of the families and that was one too many.
The mother was convinced that as her boy had asthma he should spend the rest of his life on benefits. The boy on the other hand felt that as his asthma was only very mild and that he hardly used his inhaler he was fit to work. The boy who stated that his worst nightmare was to end up 'like everyone else round here' was in my view a walking miracle. How such a household of fools produced a well spoken, reasonably intelligent fine young man I'll never know. He's on the waiting list for a flat near me and I hope he gets it soon. What mentality of parent doesn't want to see their children do better than them? Much as I mock my own parents I can see that I've been bloody lucky. Even when I went through my new age phase they were right behind me.
Finally my most detested of work colleagues who was made redundant last year is back, back, back. This time as my assistant. I am not making this up- God knows I wish I was. It is just as well I'm looking for a new job and going on to start a business because I don't know how much more I can take. On Thursday I strolled into work to find him sitting at my desk talking to himself and giggling at an empty excel spreadsheet. That was bad enough but later he went on to tell us that his daughter is moving in with him because he is cool. After a small amount of questioning we discovered that his daughter thinks he is cool because he buys her drink before she goes out. Her mother on the other hand refuses to on the grounds that she is seventeen. Sadly we are not talking about a couple of cans of lager here. Not for his 'princess' oh no she gets a litre bottle of vodka to share with her boyfriend of three weeks. Oddly enough her mother disapproves of this.
What is wrong with this scenario -oh let me count the ways. Well first up a boyfriend of three weeks is probably not the best person to be drinking oneself into a coma with. I am quite certain that underneath his baseball cap, trackie and menacing expression he is perfectly nice but statistics alone tell us he's a potential rapist. That's not to tar all men with the same brush but given the choice would you rather your daughter spoke to a strange man or a strange woman?
Secondly even if her boyfriend of three weeks is a perfect gent, will every man she encounters during the evening's festivities be harmless? Will every woman she comes across just be out for a bit of fun and not a fight? Can her seventeen year old liver sustain this level of consumption over her adult life? Am I alone in hearing banjos when a man goes to such lengths to get his daughter drunk?
God if you're reading this, send down the locusts and thunderbolts. It's all gone wrong and I'm fucked if I can fix it.
Cheerio
I shall mark this week down in my diary as the week I witnessed so much human stupidity I began to feel like a lonely intellectual with only my lute and protractor for company. Where do I begin?
Well I watched the apprentice for the first time in years. I'm only preparing to be self employed again and Lord knows I wouldn't like to be judged on my track record last time around but do the contestant's mothers know they are out? Do they have mothers or were they spawned in petri dishes? Throughout that programme all I could hear was my grandmother saying empty cans rattle the loudest. Quite remarkable if amusing in a somewhat cruel fashion. Can it be long before Sir Alan goes on a machine gun rampage?
Later in the week I saw a young mum and a young mum to be having a heated discussion about something that could only be of importance to the sort of people who appear on the Jeremy Kyle Show. It's hard to say who won given that the entire squabble managed to pass under my head but the moment that will stay with me to the grave is young mum threatening to boot mum be in the bump. More alarming still she was cheered on by her bovine mates for this. I was horrified enough at the young men present for joining in but for a group of young women including several mothers to applaud someone for in effect threatening to induce an abortion is disgusting. I have not of course overlooked the fact that mum to be was giving as good as she got on the threats front.
When I was a schoolgirl a number of my school friends found themselves suddenly pregnant. Without exception this had such a calming effect on them I always suspected it might have been hormone induced. Lord knows how one would account for the behaviour mentioned above. Perhaps Farmfoods are putting something in their icepoles.
We also had several young chaps into our surgery with their parents for advice on the best way to throw said young chaps out the house. What could have brought on such a display of tough love? What crime had these boys committed? Well the young fellows had spoken to careers advisers and decided to get jobs. To be fair one of the boys was going into insurance but until that racket is made illegal then he shouldn't be judged. Apparently if the boys take up work their parents benefits would be affected. The boys protestations that they would pay dig money fell on deaf ears. I only met with one of the families and that was one too many.
The mother was convinced that as her boy had asthma he should spend the rest of his life on benefits. The boy on the other hand felt that as his asthma was only very mild and that he hardly used his inhaler he was fit to work. The boy who stated that his worst nightmare was to end up 'like everyone else round here' was in my view a walking miracle. How such a household of fools produced a well spoken, reasonably intelligent fine young man I'll never know. He's on the waiting list for a flat near me and I hope he gets it soon. What mentality of parent doesn't want to see their children do better than them? Much as I mock my own parents I can see that I've been bloody lucky. Even when I went through my new age phase they were right behind me.
Finally my most detested of work colleagues who was made redundant last year is back, back, back. This time as my assistant. I am not making this up- God knows I wish I was. It is just as well I'm looking for a new job and going on to start a business because I don't know how much more I can take. On Thursday I strolled into work to find him sitting at my desk talking to himself and giggling at an empty excel spreadsheet. That was bad enough but later he went on to tell us that his daughter is moving in with him because he is cool. After a small amount of questioning we discovered that his daughter thinks he is cool because he buys her drink before she goes out. Her mother on the other hand refuses to on the grounds that she is seventeen. Sadly we are not talking about a couple of cans of lager here. Not for his 'princess' oh no she gets a litre bottle of vodka to share with her boyfriend of three weeks. Oddly enough her mother disapproves of this.
What is wrong with this scenario -oh let me count the ways. Well first up a boyfriend of three weeks is probably not the best person to be drinking oneself into a coma with. I am quite certain that underneath his baseball cap, trackie and menacing expression he is perfectly nice but statistics alone tell us he's a potential rapist. That's not to tar all men with the same brush but given the choice would you rather your daughter spoke to a strange man or a strange woman?
Secondly even if her boyfriend of three weeks is a perfect gent, will every man she encounters during the evening's festivities be harmless? Will every woman she comes across just be out for a bit of fun and not a fight? Can her seventeen year old liver sustain this level of consumption over her adult life? Am I alone in hearing banjos when a man goes to such lengths to get his daughter drunk?
God if you're reading this, send down the locusts and thunderbolts. It's all gone wrong and I'm fucked if I can fix it.
Cheerio
3/30/2008
Is This Real?
Hello,
It has to be said I have very mixed feelings about vandalism. On the one hand I disapprove of destroying public or private property for one's personal amusement but on the other it can on occasion be quite funny. Nevertheless it is illegal so I accept that when little Toby of Whitecraigs finds himself before the beak for his 'ghetto' antics he's got to be punished.
However I was surprised to read in today's Herald that one Gary Shields of Crookston was sentenced to 28 months in prison for his artistic endevours. He'd have been better stabbing someone really. If ever there was an offence crying out for community service or a bit of electronic tagging and a stiff fine it's this one. Oh if only I were a beak I'd have had Gary and his chums in the 'Eazy Riders' crew shackled together scrubbing walls and dislodging chewing gum for a year. I'd have fined the lot of them five grand each on top of requiring them to repay the cost of clearing up the mess they've already made and ordered them to attend literacy classes -'Eazy' indeed! In my court the little buggers would also be tagged and given a curfew to prevent them operating undercover of darkness. Oh and if they're responsible for the graffiti art pictured beside the report in the paper I'd chuck in some compulsory art classes. Honestly it's woeful.
At no point would it have occurred to me to send young Gary to Barlinnie to share a sell with a fellow sentenced to 28 months for trafficking £130,000 worth of cannabis. It's particularly absurd in this case given that trainee structural engineer Gary is an otherwise respectable fellow who was about to be be sent to university by his employer before 28 months of morning shower nerves entered the picture.
I shall spare you all my full prison reform rant suffice to say I'm on the harsh but fair wing that gets drowned out between the stick pins in their eyes and feed them gruel and the teach them to paint cats and fluff up their pillows brigades. My main beef with unduly harsh sentences is that it's taking up a place that could go to a kiddie fiddler or a proper thug. It's not fair that these people who work so hard to cause misery and distress wherever they go should be deprived of a place in prison just because some spray painting amateur is cluttering up a cell. If we as a society stop rewarding effort and hard work we'll grind to a halt and as no-one else is prepared to speak for the hard working criminal outcast the burden has fallen on my shoulders.
My other concern is that putting folk in prison who shouldn't really be there adds weight to the argument that regimes should become softer. Indeed it was the harsh treatment received by many well educated conscientious objectors during the first world war that led to the relaxation of many unduly harsh rules -not that I'm placing Gary in such illustrious company. That was fine back then because the treatment of prisoners was utterly appalling, however we're starting from a much more relaxed position these days. Quite apart from anything else the opinions of prisoners on their treatment should be an irrelevance. Unless they are calling attention to serious abuse of their basic and I emphasise basic human rights I have little interest in how they think or feel about anything. It is far easier to dismiss the bleating of a murderer about prison, an otherwise respectable vandal commands a great deal more sympathy.
As a deterrent his sentence is useless because it's too atypical to have any real impact. Making it typical does not serve the interests of society in any way. In any case how many vandals are caught in the act -judging by the epidemic of bus shelter destruction in the east end I'd guess very few. As far as I can tell efforts to clean up the city are directed at easy targets -city centre office workers dropping fag ends whilst out for a fly fag and so on. The truth is Gary was very unfortunate to be caught.
I accept that for many people graffiti creates an intimidating atmosphere but the we cannot start handing out jail sentences on the basis of people's feelings. In any case if the public regularly saw offenders cleaning up they would draw comfort from the knowledge that something is being done. Gary's sentence is a waste of public money that will achieve little but give those with an understandable desire for vengeance a few seconds victory, until of course they turn the page of their paper and see someone out on parole to ease overcrowding on trial for rape.
Cheerio
It has to be said I have very mixed feelings about vandalism. On the one hand I disapprove of destroying public or private property for one's personal amusement but on the other it can on occasion be quite funny. Nevertheless it is illegal so I accept that when little Toby of Whitecraigs finds himself before the beak for his 'ghetto' antics he's got to be punished.
However I was surprised to read in today's Herald that one Gary Shields of Crookston was sentenced to 28 months in prison for his artistic endevours. He'd have been better stabbing someone really. If ever there was an offence crying out for community service or a bit of electronic tagging and a stiff fine it's this one. Oh if only I were a beak I'd have had Gary and his chums in the 'Eazy Riders' crew shackled together scrubbing walls and dislodging chewing gum for a year. I'd have fined the lot of them five grand each on top of requiring them to repay the cost of clearing up the mess they've already made and ordered them to attend literacy classes -'Eazy' indeed! In my court the little buggers would also be tagged and given a curfew to prevent them operating undercover of darkness. Oh and if they're responsible for the graffiti art pictured beside the report in the paper I'd chuck in some compulsory art classes. Honestly it's woeful.
At no point would it have occurred to me to send young Gary to Barlinnie to share a sell with a fellow sentenced to 28 months for trafficking £130,000 worth of cannabis. It's particularly absurd in this case given that trainee structural engineer Gary is an otherwise respectable fellow who was about to be be sent to university by his employer before 28 months of morning shower nerves entered the picture.
I shall spare you all my full prison reform rant suffice to say I'm on the harsh but fair wing that gets drowned out between the stick pins in their eyes and feed them gruel and the teach them to paint cats and fluff up their pillows brigades. My main beef with unduly harsh sentences is that it's taking up a place that could go to a kiddie fiddler or a proper thug. It's not fair that these people who work so hard to cause misery and distress wherever they go should be deprived of a place in prison just because some spray painting amateur is cluttering up a cell. If we as a society stop rewarding effort and hard work we'll grind to a halt and as no-one else is prepared to speak for the hard working criminal outcast the burden has fallen on my shoulders.
My other concern is that putting folk in prison who shouldn't really be there adds weight to the argument that regimes should become softer. Indeed it was the harsh treatment received by many well educated conscientious objectors during the first world war that led to the relaxation of many unduly harsh rules -not that I'm placing Gary in such illustrious company. That was fine back then because the treatment of prisoners was utterly appalling, however we're starting from a much more relaxed position these days. Quite apart from anything else the opinions of prisoners on their treatment should be an irrelevance. Unless they are calling attention to serious abuse of their basic and I emphasise basic human rights I have little interest in how they think or feel about anything. It is far easier to dismiss the bleating of a murderer about prison, an otherwise respectable vandal commands a great deal more sympathy.
As a deterrent his sentence is useless because it's too atypical to have any real impact. Making it typical does not serve the interests of society in any way. In any case how many vandals are caught in the act -judging by the epidemic of bus shelter destruction in the east end I'd guess very few. As far as I can tell efforts to clean up the city are directed at easy targets -city centre office workers dropping fag ends whilst out for a fly fag and so on. The truth is Gary was very unfortunate to be caught.
I accept that for many people graffiti creates an intimidating atmosphere but the we cannot start handing out jail sentences on the basis of people's feelings. In any case if the public regularly saw offenders cleaning up they would draw comfort from the knowledge that something is being done. Gary's sentence is a waste of public money that will achieve little but give those with an understandable desire for vengeance a few seconds victory, until of course they turn the page of their paper and see someone out on parole to ease overcrowding on trial for rape.
Cheerio
11/23/2007
Compulsory Vasectomy Please
Is there anything more embarrassing and pitiful than a human being that thinks it's clever but is in fact a total fool? For God's sake all he's trying to do is outsmart Jeremy Kyle and still manages to come off worst. And can anyone tell me why 'Dave' looks so plastic.
The other week Mr Clairwil offended a social worker of his acquaintance in the child protection field by suggesting a 'too stupid to breed' register should be kept by social services. If only she'd seen this clip she wouldn't have got in a strop at all. Useful knowledge appears in the most unlikely places -even ITV.
Cheerio
8/09/2007
Turn That Bloody Racket Off!
Hello,
I see Elton John has demanded that the internet be turned off for five years. Can that be done? Where is the internet kept? Who looks after it? We should of course bear in mind that Elton John once phoned a hotel reception in a temper and told them to turn down the weather so it is possible he's misunderstood the whole thing a bit.
Naturally I'm opposed to this wicked plan. I prefer the internet to the telly these days. Telly reminds me that I am alone in the universe, the internet allows me to pretend I'm not. My whole life I've been haunted by the feeling that all the people like me are off elsewhere doing interesting stuff whilst I'm surrounded by people who humour me or irritate me.
I'm off out on Friday night on some sort of work 'teambuilding' night out in an appalling tapas bar. Why they can't just accept that we all hate each other and leave us in peace I'll never know. What is the sodding point? What do I have to say to a load of mums who reek of antiseptic and talk about their bowels all the time? Well plenty actually but they'd all start making the gasp of outrage possibly worse than the one they do when they see something that displeases them on GMTV so I'll be sitting in silence watching the clock and dreaming up excuses to leave early.
With any luck one of them will drink a glass of wine and do something outrageous, though I fear it will the the usual tuts of disapproval if I order a pint. Worse still they'll insist we share our dishes. I fucking hate sharing. I cannot bear it. Every time we go out it's the same. I look at the menu and decide what I want whereas they all flap about whining 'what are you having' so that they can co-ordinate, then treat me like an anti-social freak for my perfectly reasonable desire to eat without them sticking their dirty forks in my food. I wouldn't mind but these are people who change the sheets immediately after sex and carry wet wipes at all times yet they're quite happy to stick their bloody germs in my dinner. I should stress I'm not germ phobic but I refuse to eat off the same plate as anyone I wouldn't sleep with.
Oh God I'm on a roll now. The list of things they do that annoy me is too long to deal with in detail but as this is food related I'll throw it in. Every single day in work they ask me what I'm having for lunch or if I happen to be eating it at the time the lean over and look at it before questioning me as to exactly what's in my sandwich. For six months I ate cheese sandwiches because it was easier to explain than houmous. I don't know why but I feel very agressive when questioned about my lunch. Always have, even as a child. What gets me hopping mad is when they ask what I'm having then get the same thing and tell everyone that they bought it because Clairwil was having it and it looked nice.
Right I must end now I feel a rant about their stupid fake allergies coming on and if I start I won't stop.
Cheers
I see Elton John has demanded that the internet be turned off for five years. Can that be done? Where is the internet kept? Who looks after it? We should of course bear in mind that Elton John once phoned a hotel reception in a temper and told them to turn down the weather so it is possible he's misunderstood the whole thing a bit.
Naturally I'm opposed to this wicked plan. I prefer the internet to the telly these days. Telly reminds me that I am alone in the universe, the internet allows me to pretend I'm not. My whole life I've been haunted by the feeling that all the people like me are off elsewhere doing interesting stuff whilst I'm surrounded by people who humour me or irritate me.
I'm off out on Friday night on some sort of work 'teambuilding' night out in an appalling tapas bar. Why they can't just accept that we all hate each other and leave us in peace I'll never know. What is the sodding point? What do I have to say to a load of mums who reek of antiseptic and talk about their bowels all the time? Well plenty actually but they'd all start making the gasp of outrage possibly worse than the one they do when they see something that displeases them on GMTV so I'll be sitting in silence watching the clock and dreaming up excuses to leave early.
With any luck one of them will drink a glass of wine and do something outrageous, though I fear it will the the usual tuts of disapproval if I order a pint. Worse still they'll insist we share our dishes. I fucking hate sharing. I cannot bear it. Every time we go out it's the same. I look at the menu and decide what I want whereas they all flap about whining 'what are you having' so that they can co-ordinate, then treat me like an anti-social freak for my perfectly reasonable desire to eat without them sticking their dirty forks in my food. I wouldn't mind but these are people who change the sheets immediately after sex and carry wet wipes at all times yet they're quite happy to stick their bloody germs in my dinner. I should stress I'm not germ phobic but I refuse to eat off the same plate as anyone I wouldn't sleep with.
Oh God I'm on a roll now. The list of things they do that annoy me is too long to deal with in detail but as this is food related I'll throw it in. Every single day in work they ask me what I'm having for lunch or if I happen to be eating it at the time the lean over and look at it before questioning me as to exactly what's in my sandwich. For six months I ate cheese sandwiches because it was easier to explain than houmous. I don't know why but I feel very agressive when questioned about my lunch. Always have, even as a child. What gets me hopping mad is when they ask what I'm having then get the same thing and tell everyone that they bought it because Clairwil was having it and it looked nice.
Right I must end now I feel a rant about their stupid fake allergies coming on and if I start I won't stop.
Cheers
7/01/2007
Terror Attacks Cause Outbreak Of Drivel On The Web!
Hello,
I have been following the coverage of the terror attack at Glasgow Airport with some interest. Against my better judgement I took a trip over to the BBC news 'Have Your Say' bit. Oh Lord! There are times when I think free speech is a terrible error. Then I think again and conclude that if everyone else is going to talk total nonsense who am I to swim against the tide?
First up we have people attempting to get to the root cause of why the airport was attacked. Quite frankly I think someone in authority should take these 'experts' at their word and send them to Guantanamo Bay for having a suspicious level of insider knowledge. I realise that's a bit unfair given that they're talking frightful rot but it's better than them being allowed to air their views and mislead impressionable children and other vulnerable people.
A popular explanation is of course the Iraq War. Quite why someone who felt that way would attack a country which has just elected a devolved government that are vocal opponents of the Iraq war is not explained or I suspect given any consideration. Something of an own goal for the terrorists there I'd have thought, if they were in a tizzy about Iraq.
Whilst I believe that situations like the Iraq War and so on don't do recruitment to terrorist organisations any harm at all they are not the root cause of Islamist terror. There are times when I'm tempted to start supporting the war in Iraq to distance myself from 'Iraq bores'. Honestly if I were to mention that the telly was a bit dull last night I wouldn't be surprised if someone responded well of course what do you expect when we've killed all those poor Iraqis.
There are loads of folk with solutions to the problem. Like ID cards. Saints preserve us. Asylum Seekers are presently obliged to carry ID cards and it doesn't appear to have had much bearing on terrorism prevention in the UK. In any case, is someone mad enough to set fire to themselves likely to be deterred by someone knowing who they are? I cannot see many future terror plots being abandoned with the words 'drat those infidels and their ID cards'.
The deport everyone brigade are out in full. Quite how this would sort out homegrown terrorists is unclear. What do they expect the government to do? Approach some Muslim country and explain 'we're having a spot of trouble with some Islamist terrorists and we thought with you being Muslims you wouldn't mind importing a selection of violent British nutters'. Somehow I can't see that one working. If someone who isn't British presents a threat to public safety then jail them and boot them out and the end of their sentence however it's not going to eliminate the threat.
Then we have some tosser moaning about Alex Salmond making a statement. Good Lord the way that Salmond carries on you'd think he was First Minister and Scotland had been attacked! That's all we need an uppity Scot getting narked and sticking his beak into matters that don't concern him. He'll only get it wrong and break things.
I think my favourite comment was by 'Claire'. 'I am 22 years old and should not feel unsafe in my own country'. What does being 22 have to do with it you bloody fool? Why she didn't just write 'I am a pampered halfwit who descends into a footstamping hissy fit each time the world shows itself to be less than perfect' and have done with it I don't know. Six months in Iraq would sort her out. As if being 22 grants one the right to special protection!
An improbably named gentleman, one 'Mr Buttomungous' claims to have seen four chaps acting suspiciously in a Silver Mercedes last autumn. However he didn't report this or anything sensible like that in case someone thought he was a racist. I think that is quite the silliest thing ever said by any human being anywhere. Why would anyone publicly confess to finding the though of an accusation of racism as being worse than failure to report a potential terrorist attack?
Mind you abuse of the right of free speech is nothing to the abuse of the English language on that board. It's a well known fact that English is the worlds greatest language, I myself refuse to speak any other, even when overseas. I rather fancy the foreigners enjoy the challenge, in any case I always get my egg and chips. To return to the BBC website, if I find people communicating with grunts and fire in the next couple of hours I won't raise so much as an eyebrow in surprise. Instead I shall draw some stick men and jump up and down.
Finally would you all think less of me if I confess to feeling a warm glow at living in a city with citizens mad and heroic enough to punch out a psyched up burning terrorist? The only thing that would have made me happier would be if they'd beaten him with Irn Bru bottles pausing only to light a fag off the flames.
Cheerio
I have been following the coverage of the terror attack at Glasgow Airport with some interest. Against my better judgement I took a trip over to the BBC news 'Have Your Say' bit. Oh Lord! There are times when I think free speech is a terrible error. Then I think again and conclude that if everyone else is going to talk total nonsense who am I to swim against the tide?
First up we have people attempting to get to the root cause of why the airport was attacked. Quite frankly I think someone in authority should take these 'experts' at their word and send them to Guantanamo Bay for having a suspicious level of insider knowledge. I realise that's a bit unfair given that they're talking frightful rot but it's better than them being allowed to air their views and mislead impressionable children and other vulnerable people.
A popular explanation is of course the Iraq War. Quite why someone who felt that way would attack a country which has just elected a devolved government that are vocal opponents of the Iraq war is not explained or I suspect given any consideration. Something of an own goal for the terrorists there I'd have thought, if they were in a tizzy about Iraq.
Whilst I believe that situations like the Iraq War and so on don't do recruitment to terrorist organisations any harm at all they are not the root cause of Islamist terror. There are times when I'm tempted to start supporting the war in Iraq to distance myself from 'Iraq bores'. Honestly if I were to mention that the telly was a bit dull last night I wouldn't be surprised if someone responded well of course what do you expect when we've killed all those poor Iraqis.
There are loads of folk with solutions to the problem. Like ID cards. Saints preserve us. Asylum Seekers are presently obliged to carry ID cards and it doesn't appear to have had much bearing on terrorism prevention in the UK. In any case, is someone mad enough to set fire to themselves likely to be deterred by someone knowing who they are? I cannot see many future terror plots being abandoned with the words 'drat those infidels and their ID cards'.
The deport everyone brigade are out in full. Quite how this would sort out homegrown terrorists is unclear. What do they expect the government to do? Approach some Muslim country and explain 'we're having a spot of trouble with some Islamist terrorists and we thought with you being Muslims you wouldn't mind importing a selection of violent British nutters'. Somehow I can't see that one working. If someone who isn't British presents a threat to public safety then jail them and boot them out and the end of their sentence however it's not going to eliminate the threat.
Then we have some tosser moaning about Alex Salmond making a statement. Good Lord the way that Salmond carries on you'd think he was First Minister and Scotland had been attacked! That's all we need an uppity Scot getting narked and sticking his beak into matters that don't concern him. He'll only get it wrong and break things.
I think my favourite comment was by 'Claire'. 'I am 22 years old and should not feel unsafe in my own country'. What does being 22 have to do with it you bloody fool? Why she didn't just write 'I am a pampered halfwit who descends into a footstamping hissy fit each time the world shows itself to be less than perfect' and have done with it I don't know. Six months in Iraq would sort her out. As if being 22 grants one the right to special protection!
An improbably named gentleman, one 'Mr Buttomungous' claims to have seen four chaps acting suspiciously in a Silver Mercedes last autumn. However he didn't report this or anything sensible like that in case someone thought he was a racist. I think that is quite the silliest thing ever said by any human being anywhere. Why would anyone publicly confess to finding the though of an accusation of racism as being worse than failure to report a potential terrorist attack?
Mind you abuse of the right of free speech is nothing to the abuse of the English language on that board. It's a well known fact that English is the worlds greatest language, I myself refuse to speak any other, even when overseas. I rather fancy the foreigners enjoy the challenge, in any case I always get my egg and chips. To return to the BBC website, if I find people communicating with grunts and fire in the next couple of hours I won't raise so much as an eyebrow in surprise. Instead I shall draw some stick men and jump up and down.
Finally would you all think less of me if I confess to feeling a warm glow at living in a city with citizens mad and heroic enough to punch out a psyched up burning terrorist? The only thing that would have made me happier would be if they'd beaten him with Irn Bru bottles pausing only to light a fag off the flames.
Cheerio
6/04/2007
Teachers
Hello,
As my long term readers are aware I'm not a fan of the teaching profession. I've met less than ten primary or secondary teachers who weren't either thick, socially inadequate, incapable of answering a resonable question or derranged. So I may be slightly biased.
Newsnight Scotland has just ended with an item about the next EIS general meeting where they will be putting forward a motion to ban the army from schools. It took a while to get the reason for this out of the teachers represtitive. He's lucky I wasn't presenting I'd have bellowed 'answer the question, you impertinant boy' at the top of my lungs and if that didn't work I'd have adopted a sarcastic tone and asked if he wanted to stand up and tell the rest of the nation what the teachers were whispering about. As usual I was not presenting Newsnight so I had to content myself with shouting at the telly.
It eventually emerged that the reason was that joining army carries a risk of death and if the army are allowed into schools it might appear that teachers are endorsing a career in the army. Why he didn't just tell the truth and state that it was a witless bit of anti-Iraq protest is beyond me. Lord knows I took a dim view of the Iraq war but I blame the government rather than the army who as far as I understand, go where they're sent.
I was also alarmed at the idea the nations schoolchildren are too thick to understand the risks involved in joining the armed services. One would have thought the teaching profession would be embarrassed to admit that despite all their hard work Scotland's teenagers are such numpties. If teachers are telling us that children who have been in school since early childhood are by their teens incapable of listening to a presentation, considering what has been said and researching the options open to them, then I would like to know how the teaching profession intends to tackle this crisis. I wonder if it's the evidently low opinion of those charged with educating them that as at least in part responsible for their alleged stupidity.
The army argue that they only go to schools where they have been invited and do not actively recruit but instead give general career talks and let the pupils make there own minds up. Good Lord conveying information and expecting people to think! What an innovative strategy, has anyone considered putting them in charge of teacher training?
Do the teachers imagine that the army are hypnotising the children? I used to attend every recruitment talk going, including the armed services who were never away from the school. I had no more intention of joining the armed forces than I did of turning into a double bass. I was skiving and nothing said during any recruitment talk was going to alter that. Out of my year at school three people joined the armed forces which they'd wanted to do since childhood. No amount of reasoning would deflect them from their aim. As I recall it was two years of army life that convinced two of them they'd made a terrible mistake.
If teachers would prefer the pupils in their care not to join the army, then they'd be better to make their classes interesting and try to convey a sense of enthusiasm for a career in that discipline, rather than prevent their pupils from hearing one view of an army career.
Later in the week I intend to go mad about the appointment of a 'Respect Czar' and the plans to prevent under eighteens from viewing film that contain scenes of smoking in them.
As my long term readers are aware I'm not a fan of the teaching profession. I've met less than ten primary or secondary teachers who weren't either thick, socially inadequate, incapable of answering a resonable question or derranged. So I may be slightly biased.
Newsnight Scotland has just ended with an item about the next EIS general meeting where they will be putting forward a motion to ban the army from schools. It took a while to get the reason for this out of the teachers represtitive. He's lucky I wasn't presenting I'd have bellowed 'answer the question, you impertinant boy' at the top of my lungs and if that didn't work I'd have adopted a sarcastic tone and asked if he wanted to stand up and tell the rest of the nation what the teachers were whispering about. As usual I was not presenting Newsnight so I had to content myself with shouting at the telly.
It eventually emerged that the reason was that joining army carries a risk of death and if the army are allowed into schools it might appear that teachers are endorsing a career in the army. Why he didn't just tell the truth and state that it was a witless bit of anti-Iraq protest is beyond me. Lord knows I took a dim view of the Iraq war but I blame the government rather than the army who as far as I understand, go where they're sent.
I was also alarmed at the idea the nations schoolchildren are too thick to understand the risks involved in joining the armed services. One would have thought the teaching profession would be embarrassed to admit that despite all their hard work Scotland's teenagers are such numpties. If teachers are telling us that children who have been in school since early childhood are by their teens incapable of listening to a presentation, considering what has been said and researching the options open to them, then I would like to know how the teaching profession intends to tackle this crisis. I wonder if it's the evidently low opinion of those charged with educating them that as at least in part responsible for their alleged stupidity.
The army argue that they only go to schools where they have been invited and do not actively recruit but instead give general career talks and let the pupils make there own minds up. Good Lord conveying information and expecting people to think! What an innovative strategy, has anyone considered putting them in charge of teacher training?
Do the teachers imagine that the army are hypnotising the children? I used to attend every recruitment talk going, including the armed services who were never away from the school. I had no more intention of joining the armed forces than I did of turning into a double bass. I was skiving and nothing said during any recruitment talk was going to alter that. Out of my year at school three people joined the armed forces which they'd wanted to do since childhood. No amount of reasoning would deflect them from their aim. As I recall it was two years of army life that convinced two of them they'd made a terrible mistake.
If teachers would prefer the pupils in their care not to join the army, then they'd be better to make their classes interesting and try to convey a sense of enthusiasm for a career in that discipline, rather than prevent their pupils from hearing one view of an army career.
Later in the week I intend to go mad about the appointment of a 'Respect Czar' and the plans to prevent under eighteens from viewing film that contain scenes of smoking in them.
4/17/2007
Ask Charlie
'One of the newest MSPs was also one of the dearest. Charles Gordon, who was elected Labour MSP for Glasgow Cathcart last September, billed taxpayers for £3571 for his first quarter in the job, although this included a number of start-up costs, such as a £50 Freeview TV box for his constituency office, and £159 worth of tea and coffee.'Tom Gordon in the Herald, 6 th October 2006.
Hello,
There is nothing Clairwil enjoys more than reminding a cheeky councillor, MP or MSP that I pay their wages. There are two reasons for this, the first is that it's true and the second is that they must be sick hearing it. See, you can goad them beyond endurance without being at all unpleasant.
Anyway I was leafing through The Digger when I chanced upon one Charlie Gordon MSP taking fright at being questioned by a member of the public. It's almost the funniest thing I've ever heard. If you see Charlie on your travels, please ask him a question, taking care to remind him that your taxes paid for his Freeview box. Baiting this man could be more fun than the popular bloodsport of kicking Terry Kelly.
To return to Charlies traumatic encounter with the public, picture the scene. The volunteer staff of Merrylee Matters Community Initiative were doing a spot of gardening when Charlie 'Square-eyes' Gordon came a waddling down the street looking for votes. The volunteers couldn't believe their luck as they hadn't set eyes on Charlie since the last election. Heads full of silly ideas of accountability they seized the chance to ask the reclusive telly addict a question.
One of the volunteers asked Charlie why he'd done nothing to promote the work they did in the community, why he was ignoring the community and stated that he'd done nothing but line his pockets since being elected. A fair point and two good questions, more so when one takes into account the fact that Mr Gordon was head of Glasgow City Council when the notorious Chirnsyde Initiative was given funding.
Rather than just answer the bloody question Charlie and his researcher panicked. I found this detail particularly amusing '.....Gordon's researcher was acting like a child, waving his arms about in the street and demanding that the police come.' The police did come along later and stated that whilst they accepted no-one had been abusive or threatening towards Charlie they would still be charged with breach of the peace if they approached him again.
Like I said before baiting this cretin looks like a lot of fun. There really is only one reasonable response to this. Let's see if we can get his researcher to start bedwetting. We must all ask Charlie a question. Remember keep it polite.
Cheerio
Hello,
There is nothing Clairwil enjoys more than reminding a cheeky councillor, MP or MSP that I pay their wages. There are two reasons for this, the first is that it's true and the second is that they must be sick hearing it. See, you can goad them beyond endurance without being at all unpleasant.
Anyway I was leafing through The Digger when I chanced upon one Charlie Gordon MSP taking fright at being questioned by a member of the public. It's almost the funniest thing I've ever heard. If you see Charlie on your travels, please ask him a question, taking care to remind him that your taxes paid for his Freeview box. Baiting this man could be more fun than the popular bloodsport of kicking Terry Kelly.
To return to Charlies traumatic encounter with the public, picture the scene. The volunteer staff of Merrylee Matters Community Initiative were doing a spot of gardening when Charlie 'Square-eyes' Gordon came a waddling down the street looking for votes. The volunteers couldn't believe their luck as they hadn't set eyes on Charlie since the last election. Heads full of silly ideas of accountability they seized the chance to ask the reclusive telly addict a question.
One of the volunteers asked Charlie why he'd done nothing to promote the work they did in the community, why he was ignoring the community and stated that he'd done nothing but line his pockets since being elected. A fair point and two good questions, more so when one takes into account the fact that Mr Gordon was head of Glasgow City Council when the notorious Chirnsyde Initiative was given funding.
Rather than just answer the bloody question Charlie and his researcher panicked. I found this detail particularly amusing '.....Gordon's researcher was acting like a child, waving his arms about in the street and demanding that the police come.' The police did come along later and stated that whilst they accepted no-one had been abusive or threatening towards Charlie they would still be charged with breach of the peace if they approached him again.
Like I said before baiting this cretin looks like a lot of fun. There really is only one reasonable response to this. Let's see if we can get his researcher to start bedwetting. We must all ask Charlie a question. Remember keep it polite.
Cheerio
4/07/2007
The Internet Hates Me
Hello,
Following on from my earlier post about the horror involved in trying to set up a website. I'm still stuck. Some of the clever types below have asked me for more information! Ha! they don't realise quite what a dunce they're dealing with. Anyway here is my version of events. Can anyone shed any light on this catastrophe?
I purchased a website regarding popular skin conditions on ebay with the aim of polluting the internet with with yet another advertising site. This website reckons it's ready to go for adsense and that all one has to do is insert their adsense ID and then publish. Oh they made it sound so bloody easy and I'm sure it is for other people.
I downloaded it and opened it using WinRAR. All the templates opened in Firefox after I'd unzipped them. I didn't ask them to, it just happened. Also supplied with the programme was a search and replace tool. The instructions said that I should type in my adsense code, hit search and replace and that would be the editing done. It didn't work and kept saying that the code I wished to replace didn't exist! But it did because I've seen it!
As the files kept opening as the finished article rather than html. I used the view source option and copied the template into notepad. This then allowed me to replace the relevant bit of code by hand not using the fucking tool.
For my next trick I then tried to upload the files to my website. Oh sweet Jesus! Why did I bother? I followed the instructions in windows which seem simple but are a wicked trick. The only option I'm given is to upload to MSN groups. Nowhere else. Who in their right mind wants to only send things to MSN? Why can't I add my webhost?
So I went to my control panel. Noted their template editor was useless unless you just want to pick one of their templates, so I installed Joomla. Why Joomla? I don't know I just liked the name. Joomla is a cunt. Every time I try and upload the templates I get an error message. It has thus far allowed me to upload a banner with no problem, then turned against me. It did allow me to copy and paste a page of code in but it came out all wrong!
I realise that I am at fault here. I just can't understand where I went wrong. I'm not great with computers but this is absurd. I thought templates would make life easier.
Cheerio
Following on from my earlier post about the horror involved in trying to set up a website. I'm still stuck. Some of the clever types below have asked me for more information! Ha! they don't realise quite what a dunce they're dealing with. Anyway here is my version of events. Can anyone shed any light on this catastrophe?
I purchased a website regarding popular skin conditions on ebay with the aim of polluting the internet with with yet another advertising site. This website reckons it's ready to go for adsense and that all one has to do is insert their adsense ID and then publish. Oh they made it sound so bloody easy and I'm sure it is for other people.
I downloaded it and opened it using WinRAR. All the templates opened in Firefox after I'd unzipped them. I didn't ask them to, it just happened. Also supplied with the programme was a search and replace tool. The instructions said that I should type in my adsense code, hit search and replace and that would be the editing done. It didn't work and kept saying that the code I wished to replace didn't exist! But it did because I've seen it!
As the files kept opening as the finished article rather than html. I used the view source option and copied the template into notepad. This then allowed me to replace the relevant bit of code by hand not using the fucking tool.
For my next trick I then tried to upload the files to my website. Oh sweet Jesus! Why did I bother? I followed the instructions in windows which seem simple but are a wicked trick. The only option I'm given is to upload to MSN groups. Nowhere else. Who in their right mind wants to only send things to MSN? Why can't I add my webhost?
So I went to my control panel. Noted their template editor was useless unless you just want to pick one of their templates, so I installed Joomla. Why Joomla? I don't know I just liked the name. Joomla is a cunt. Every time I try and upload the templates I get an error message. It has thus far allowed me to upload a banner with no problem, then turned against me. It did allow me to copy and paste a page of code in but it came out all wrong!
I realise that I am at fault here. I just can't understand where I went wrong. I'm not great with computers but this is absurd. I thought templates would make life easier.
Cheerio
3/28/2007
A task for you all.....
Hello,
Mr Clairwil reckons that I won't be happy until Terry Kelly jumps out a window. What rot! A man of Terry's age and girth should never jump. Think of the consequences for the rest of us. Good Lord we've already had one Tsunami this century and that is more than enough. Anyway as he still refuses to speak to me owing to me being 'awful and thick', I'd be obliged if you would all pop over and ask him a question or two about the budget. He seems reluctant to talk about it and I'd like to know why, only I'm semi-banned from his blog and won't get an answer.
Cheerio
Mr Clairwil reckons that I won't be happy until Terry Kelly jumps out a window. What rot! A man of Terry's age and girth should never jump. Think of the consequences for the rest of us. Good Lord we've already had one Tsunami this century and that is more than enough. Anyway as he still refuses to speak to me owing to me being 'awful and thick', I'd be obliged if you would all pop over and ask him a question or two about the budget. He seems reluctant to talk about it and I'd like to know why, only I'm semi-banned from his blog and won't get an answer.
Cheerio
2/26/2007
Clairwil Is Tempted By An Obvious Con!
Hello,
As I mentioned a while back I have another blog to keep track of my attempts to earn a living without doing very much or leaving the house. Anyway I was just completing a post on the 'most watched' items on eBay when I came across this auction .
Obviously I'm suspicious but I must shamefully admit to being tempted. As time goes by I grow more amazed than ever that I've never fallen for one of those email scams. To return to the suspicious auction if I may. What is this 'historical event' they are banging on about?
'Every once in a while, world events combine to create situations that will generate billions of dollars from virtually thin air, (it only happened twice in the 20th century).'
Money from thin air! When did this happen? I can think of many instances of money disappearing into thin air during the course of the 20th century but didn't it turn up in odd places like Robert Maxwell's pocket, if ever?
I feel like I'm in Jack and The Beanstalk or something. Can anyone enlighten me on the precise nature of this scam? Apparently the 'big players' know all about it. Are any of them reading? Would any of them mind giving this 'little player' an explanation of this extraordinary item or even a small hint?
No wonder it's one of the most watched items on eBay, I can't take my eyes of the bloody thing. The girls in the picture look too sweet to be wholesome. It's a honey trap and no mistake.
I demand answers.
As I mentioned a while back I have another blog to keep track of my attempts to earn a living without doing very much or leaving the house. Anyway I was just completing a post on the 'most watched' items on eBay when I came across this auction .
Obviously I'm suspicious but I must shamefully admit to being tempted. As time goes by I grow more amazed than ever that I've never fallen for one of those email scams. To return to the suspicious auction if I may. What is this 'historical event' they are banging on about?
'Every once in a while, world events combine to create situations that will generate billions of dollars from virtually thin air, (it only happened twice in the 20th century).'
Money from thin air! When did this happen? I can think of many instances of money disappearing into thin air during the course of the 20th century but didn't it turn up in odd places like Robert Maxwell's pocket, if ever?
I feel like I'm in Jack and The Beanstalk or something. Can anyone enlighten me on the precise nature of this scam? Apparently the 'big players' know all about it. Are any of them reading? Would any of them mind giving this 'little player' an explanation of this extraordinary item or even a small hint?
No wonder it's one of the most watched items on eBay, I can't take my eyes of the bloody thing. The girls in the picture look too sweet to be wholesome. It's a honey trap and no mistake.
I demand answers.
2/01/2007
Terry Watch- A Call To Arms!
Hello,
As you will see in the comments below Will P of the fine J. Arthur MacNumpty blog has just launched Terry Watch to keep an eye on our good friend Councillor Terry Kelly.
Doctor Vee correctly in my view argues that our Tel embodies everything wrong with Scotland's slavish devotion to a Labour Party that thinks because we've been loyal, it can kick us as it pleases.
You might say that we should simply ignore him and he'll go away. Well he won't. What Tezza needs is more attention, more readers. I dream of his blog being the most famous blog in this world and beyond. I don't believe many people voted for Terry Kelly as such, what they in fact voted for was Labour and look what they've ended up with! The least we can do is make sure everyone concerned fully understands what a vote for Labour in Scotland really means. It means bullying, ad hominem attacks*, the crudest form of tribal politics, inconsistency, 'we won and youse didnae', buffoonery, posturing over action, the debating skills of a saloon bar drunk, a mindset like a leftist George Bush, juvenile anti-Americanism and everyone's wrong except Labour. Oh did I mention I was a bit peeved?
All politics aside, people unfit to hold office are exploiting blind party loyalty to advance themselves and we are paying for it. Remember it's 'only' expenses now but from May this year it will be a wage of £15,000+ per year. Ok maybe not the highest wage in the world but if you think it will stay so modest then you're a lot more trusting than I am. Just look at how MP's salaries have increased over the years. Personally I think they should set a good example and take only the minimum wage but I expect they're all far too grand to live on such a pittance. However, I digress. I wouldn't dream of telling you how to vote, all I am asking you to do is read Councillor Terry Kelly's blog and ask yourself is this man worth £15,000 p/a of my money? Then cast your vote accordingly.
If we keep taking democracy for granted like this they'll take it off us. Oh and if you're reading this from outwith Scotland shaking your head at the funny little Jocks and their silly councillors, then think on this. We have in Scotland sent more than a few MP's down to Westminster, have we not? Yes, in fact some ill-feeling on the matter has come to my attention. You will note that our MP's have done rather nicely for themselves, if not for the electorate. Think how much more pleasant it might have been if the worst among them had been nipped in the bud at council level. It might not affect you now but it might in the future and then you really will be sorry. It will be too late when Prime Minister Kelly has you quivering under his mighty jackboot. Think communist Russia with bad jokes. Just don't say you weren't warned or come crying to me. OK that was scare tactics but stranger things have happened.
So there we are. That is my take on the awful crisis in our democracy. So what should we do?
Well I urge all of you anyone in any part of the world with a blog to join Terry Watch. Just place a link to his blog in your sidebar and that's it! Easy as pie and twice as tasty. If you'd like to do more, write a post about him, write six, place a link your e-mail signature, tell everyone to read his blog, bake 'Terry Watch' cakes, write a song and release a 'Terry Watch Aid' single, make stickers, posters, badges to promote his blog. Get the press involved. Hire a branded Terry Kelly hot air balloon, alert the Red Cross. Anything, all publicity is good publicity. The one good thing I can say about Tezza is that he has brought nationalist and unionist, right, left and centre together in slack jawed amazement at his political success so far. Let's put our other differences aside and do our level best to make him world famous. He has long believed that he is the victim of a nationalist-tory-socialist conspiracy. We can make his dream come true! The scrapping may resume when he's out of office. Come on there's only one of him and many of us and if we all spat at once we'd drown the oaf.
Toodle Pip!
*and before anyone starts, Yes I am familiar with the ad hominem fallacy. Yes I have read my own blog -but not in a kinky way. The fact is that I am not standing for election. One expects certain standards in public life. Like when they used to resign after a scandal and so on. I am a member of the public and one that has lived down to every expectation anyone ever had of me. There is one set of rules for them and another for us, just not in the way they'd like. That is all.
As you will see in the comments below Will P of the fine J. Arthur MacNumpty blog has just launched Terry Watch to keep an eye on our good friend Councillor Terry Kelly.
Doctor Vee correctly in my view argues that our Tel embodies everything wrong with Scotland's slavish devotion to a Labour Party that thinks because we've been loyal, it can kick us as it pleases.
You might say that we should simply ignore him and he'll go away. Well he won't. What Tezza needs is more attention, more readers. I dream of his blog being the most famous blog in this world and beyond. I don't believe many people voted for Terry Kelly as such, what they in fact voted for was Labour and look what they've ended up with! The least we can do is make sure everyone concerned fully understands what a vote for Labour in Scotland really means. It means bullying, ad hominem attacks*, the crudest form of tribal politics, inconsistency, 'we won and youse didnae', buffoonery, posturing over action, the debating skills of a saloon bar drunk, a mindset like a leftist George Bush, juvenile anti-Americanism and everyone's wrong except Labour. Oh did I mention I was a bit peeved?
All politics aside, people unfit to hold office are exploiting blind party loyalty to advance themselves and we are paying for it. Remember it's 'only' expenses now but from May this year it will be a wage of £15,000+ per year. Ok maybe not the highest wage in the world but if you think it will stay so modest then you're a lot more trusting than I am. Just look at how MP's salaries have increased over the years. Personally I think they should set a good example and take only the minimum wage but I expect they're all far too grand to live on such a pittance. However, I digress. I wouldn't dream of telling you how to vote, all I am asking you to do is read Councillor Terry Kelly's blog and ask yourself is this man worth £15,000 p/a of my money? Then cast your vote accordingly.
If we keep taking democracy for granted like this they'll take it off us. Oh and if you're reading this from outwith Scotland shaking your head at the funny little Jocks and their silly councillors, then think on this. We have in Scotland sent more than a few MP's down to Westminster, have we not? Yes, in fact some ill-feeling on the matter has come to my attention. You will note that our MP's have done rather nicely for themselves, if not for the electorate. Think how much more pleasant it might have been if the worst among them had been nipped in the bud at council level. It might not affect you now but it might in the future and then you really will be sorry. It will be too late when Prime Minister Kelly has you quivering under his mighty jackboot. Think communist Russia with bad jokes. Just don't say you weren't warned or come crying to me. OK that was scare tactics but stranger things have happened.
So there we are. That is my take on the awful crisis in our democracy. So what should we do?
Well I urge all of you anyone in any part of the world with a blog to join Terry Watch. Just place a link to his blog in your sidebar and that's it! Easy as pie and twice as tasty. If you'd like to do more, write a post about him, write six, place a link your e-mail signature, tell everyone to read his blog, bake 'Terry Watch' cakes, write a song and release a 'Terry Watch Aid' single, make stickers, posters, badges to promote his blog. Get the press involved. Hire a branded Terry Kelly hot air balloon, alert the Red Cross. Anything, all publicity is good publicity. The one good thing I can say about Tezza is that he has brought nationalist and unionist, right, left and centre together in slack jawed amazement at his political success so far. Let's put our other differences aside and do our level best to make him world famous. He has long believed that he is the victim of a nationalist-tory-socialist conspiracy. We can make his dream come true! The scrapping may resume when he's out of office. Come on there's only one of him and many of us and if we all spat at once we'd drown the oaf.
Toodle Pip!
*and before anyone starts, Yes I am familiar with the ad hominem fallacy. Yes I have read my own blog -but not in a kinky way. The fact is that I am not standing for election. One expects certain standards in public life. Like when they used to resign after a scandal and so on. I am a member of the public and one that has lived down to every expectation anyone ever had of me. There is one set of rules for them and another for us, just not in the way they'd like. That is all.
1/23/2007
All That Stands Between Us And The Holocaust
Hello,
I really should stop reading the Metro on the bus. I nearly fell off my chair and caused comment amongst my fellow passengers after reading this letter by Jamie of Paisley about Jade Goody which I will quote from below. The letter begins 'If a holocaust was ever to happen in Britain....'
It continues 'it would be because.....the media were able to distort the truth....' Stay with me, it's just getting good ' In much the same way that thousands of people who haven't even watched Big Brother are up in arms about racist bully Jade....'
Do you know all last week I was thinking this Big Brother stuff is very reminiscent of the rise of Hitler. Anyway it's the end that kills me 'it would be strong-minded, outspoken, courageous individuals like her [Jade] most likely to oppose it [a holocaust].
Am I alone in suspecting that in the event of Jade and people like her(God help us) being all there is between us and the gas chambers we are doomed? Imagine peering out from behind the barbed wire and seeing Jade approaching. The relief, the excited whispers 'it's outspoken Jade -we're saved' and then the groans of disappointment as Jade walks up to the fence mispronounces Anglia, bellows at terrifying volume about a boil on her arse, which in turn alerts the guards who slaughter us all without mercy.
I expect Jamie is only twelve or something. Poor bastard I feel awful now. Jamie my boy, take some advice from an old bag and try and acquire a sense of proportion from somewhere or sit quietly in a nice corner.
Cheerio
I really should stop reading the Metro on the bus. I nearly fell off my chair and caused comment amongst my fellow passengers after reading this letter by Jamie of Paisley about Jade Goody which I will quote from below. The letter begins 'If a holocaust was ever to happen in Britain....'
It continues 'it would be because.....the media were able to distort the truth....' Stay with me, it's just getting good ' In much the same way that thousands of people who haven't even watched Big Brother are up in arms about racist bully Jade....'
Do you know all last week I was thinking this Big Brother stuff is very reminiscent of the rise of Hitler. Anyway it's the end that kills me 'it would be strong-minded, outspoken, courageous individuals like her [Jade] most likely to oppose it [a holocaust].
Am I alone in suspecting that in the event of Jade and people like her(God help us) being all there is between us and the gas chambers we are doomed? Imagine peering out from behind the barbed wire and seeing Jade approaching. The relief, the excited whispers 'it's outspoken Jade -we're saved' and then the groans of disappointment as Jade walks up to the fence mispronounces Anglia, bellows at terrifying volume about a boil on her arse, which in turn alerts the guards who slaughter us all without mercy.
I expect Jamie is only twelve or something. Poor bastard I feel awful now. Jamie my boy, take some advice from an old bag and try and acquire a sense of proportion from somewhere or sit quietly in a nice corner.
Cheerio
1/22/2007
I think I've upset Councillor Kelly!
Hello,
Look what Councillor Kelly is saying about me. 'Poisonous drivel', 'weep for your country'. Oh dear. Mind you there is a tiny ray of hope in amongst all this which I've highlighted in bold for you. For God's sake put your pride and dignity aside! If enough of you tell him that you are just like me and a typical Scot -he really will pack it in! Go on your country needs you.
'Some people don't like me saying these things as well as my claim that my position is far more honest and benefits Scotland far more than theirs. I was told about a blog called 'clairwils' which is a good example of this, read it, and weep for your country, you could not make this poisonous drivel up, reactionary nationalism in it's most puerile form, written it would seem, late on in the pub after a beating by England, if I thought these people were in any way typical of Scots I really would pack it in.'
http://councillorterrykelly.blogspot.com/2007/01/patriots-scoundrels.html#links
I notice the living argument against democracy couldn't answer any of the points I raised, which is perhaps why he didn't bother linking to me to let folk judge for themselves. Tee Hee Clairwil -1 Tezzabaws -0.
Toodle pip.
Look what Councillor Kelly is saying about me. 'Poisonous drivel', 'weep for your country'. Oh dear. Mind you there is a tiny ray of hope in amongst all this which I've highlighted in bold for you. For God's sake put your pride and dignity aside! If enough of you tell him that you are just like me and a typical Scot -he really will pack it in! Go on your country needs you.
'Some people don't like me saying these things as well as my claim that my position is far more honest and benefits Scotland far more than theirs. I was told about a blog called 'clairwils' which is a good example of this, read it, and weep for your country, you could not make this poisonous drivel up, reactionary nationalism in it's most puerile form, written it would seem, late on in the pub after a beating by England, if I thought these people were in any way typical of Scots I really would pack it in.'
http://councillorterrykelly.blogspot.com/2007/01/patriots-scoundrels.html#links
I notice the living argument against democracy couldn't answer any of the points I raised, which is perhaps why he didn't bother linking to me to let folk judge for themselves. Tee Hee Clairwil -1 Tezzabaws -0.
Toodle pip.
1/20/2007
Councillor Terry Kelly
Hello,
I'd like to take this opportunity to introduce you all to the bad boy of Paisley politics Councillor Terry Kelly. He was brought to my attention by the lovely boys over at the Scottish Blogging Round Up and the charming Mr MacNumpty.
It's hard to know where to start. For some reason Mr Clairwil and I were reduced to tears of helpless laughter at the phrase 'I am a socialist' under his photo. I don't know why I find it so hilarious but every time I think about it I giggle like a loon. The fun doesn't stop there some of the posts are pure gold. At first I suspected it might be a spoof blog, a send up of the archetypal Scottish Labour balloon, but a phone call to one his constituents confirms that it is indeed real. Mind you, his predecessor was much worse (links to crime, missing money-the usual Labour snouts in trough stuff). If these 'good socialists' put as much effort into enriching the people as they do into lining their own pockets we'd all be living in solid gold council housing and each have a private jet in the driveway.
Curiously our Terry refers to 'Paisley's shame' as a period when the SNP and the Tories were running the show. Whilst I'm no fan of the Tories and am fairly unimpressed by the SNP, I would have thought that he'd find the dodgy dealings of his fellow party members far more shameful than the electorate failing to share his views. Then again I grew out that that phase of thinking everyone who has different politics to you is evil when I was about sixteen, unfortunately Councillor Kelly seems to have given up developing mentally at some point during adolescence. The cliche goes that you could get a monkey in a Labour rosette elected in the West Of Scotland, having read our Tezza's blog I am now convinced that you could easily dispense with the monkey and get the rosette elected. Incidentally if anyone is interested I was thinking of putting an old shoe up as an alternative Labour candidate at the next election to see how many votes it would get, if you can help please get in touch.
Councillor Kelly has something of a bee in his bonnet about gay rights, so much so that he is very cross with the SNP who he reckons are anti-gay because one of their MSP's is a Mormon and has arranged work experience for Mormons from Brigham Young University, which being Christian takes a dim view of the whole gay thing. He also reckons that Ruth Kelly's position in the Labour Party is 'untenable' because she takes a dim view of the gays. I think we have now established that our Tezza does not like people that don't like the gays. Fair enough except he declares that Fidel Castro is his hero. This puzzles me because I am reliably informed by Peter Tatchell that Mr Castro doesn't like the gays at all 'there are no homosexuals in the countryside' according to Fidel. I'm no expert but wasn't Fidel running the show when homosexuality was punishable by four years imprisonment or when failure to inform the authorities one's child was gay was considered a 'crime against the revolution'. To be fair things have eased up a bit in Cuba, nowadays they just imprison flamboyant homosexuals for twelve months and fine the rest. Like I say I'm no expert but if I were a gay Cuban I wouldn't be feeling very welcome at all under the rule of Councillor Kelly's hero (more here if you're interested).
I did wonder if Councillor Kelly's tough stance on gay rights might be more to do with scoring points against the SNP, than any sincere principle. After all he does take a very dim view of Scottish Nationalism and it would appear Scottishness generally. I hate to point the finger so I'll move on to his rampant anti-Scottish stance. According to our elected friend anyone who likes any of the following is 'in a bad way' ; Kilts (£600), Haggis (not as good as curry), St Andrew (a flag apparently), Robert Burns (2nd rate plagiarist), whisky (the national drinks are apparently Irn-Bru and Buckfast). I am not for a moment arguing that one has to like any of these things, far from it. Try as I might I cannot drink whisky without being sick, I once brought shame on Scotland by demonstrating this in front several English people who were downing it by the bottle and displaying no ill effects. Needless to say they were as amused as I was embarrassed. Sadly I do not have the figure for a kilt, nor it has to be said the inclination to wear one. I am however 'in a bad way' according to Councillor Kelly I like a bit of vegetarian Haggis, I like Burns, I rather like the Scottish flag and I have nothing against good old St Andrew, he's as good a saint as any other, though arguably not as exciting as England's dragon slayer.
This reference to Burns being 'second rate' and a 'plagiarist' crops up several times on Councillor Kelly's blog. He doesn't actually take the time to tell us who he considers a first rate poet or inform the reader which of Burn's poems were plagiarized and from whom. This is unfortunate because it makes him look like he's just put it in to annoy nationalists and admirers of Burns work rather than as a piece of informed comment. As he doesn't explain I can only guess that what he describes as plagiarism is Burns' use of traditional folk tunes and so on in his work. Alan touches on this in last years Burns Night post on his blog . I strongly recommend you read Alan's post, it is excellent, though be careful about reading it too soon after visiting Councillor Kelly's blog. I just did and it's left me feeling a bit disorientated as if I'd just gone from reading the back of a lavatory door to the collected works of Jane Austen in less than sixty seconds.
He is also unimpressed by the idea that the Golden Eagle should be declared Scotland's national bird, preferring the more common Starling. From reading his blog I can only presume that this is because the idea of Scotland being associated with anything beautiful, majestic and impressive is an anathema to him. God help us, if that clown were in charge, the Highlands would be turned into a car park and Loch Lomond filled in. Look at his cheery tone as he elevates downmarket Irn Bru and Buckfast over whisky as the national drink. God forbid Scotland should excel at anything above the gutter, God forbid that we should aspire to anything or be proud of a homegrown industry producing a world class spirit. I have long given up expecting anything from our elected representatives but he could at least hide his contempt, he could at least pretend he's trying to improve things. I'd suggest he leaves Scotland since he clearly despises it so much however to inflict this absurdity on another nation could only be interpreted as a grave insult and may lead to war. A keen anti-racist like Councillor Kelly might also want to bear in mind that running down one's own country and it's traditions all the time and writing respectfully of other countries is more likely to get peoples backs up than make them more welcoming to Polish and other migrants. Just a thought.
His post on Housing Stock Transfer is another gem. He's hopping mad that the people of Renfrewshire voted against it. Who does he blame for this outrage? Not himself and his council chums for failing to convince the electorate. Reading Councillor Kelly's blog one soon learns that everything bad that happens is the fault of the SNP, the Conservatives or the SSP. On this occasion it's the SSP to blame by er campaigning for a No vote and being believed by more of the electorate that those campaigning for a Yes vote. You can't blame him for thinking the electorate are stupid given that they elected him, I must admit the thought has crossed my mind, but he carries on like they've been hypnotised by the SS as he calls them. Of course it doesn't enter his head that people might have been a bit put off housing stock transfer after the GHA started sequestrating poverty stricken home owners who couldn't pay for repairs in 12months or less. It's been some years since I read Marx but is bankrupting poor people and making them homeless, strictly speaking, Socialist? I'm no expert but I don't think it is. He also blames the SSP because the Labour controlled council were so confident of a Yes vote they hadn't bothered to think up a plan b in the event of a No vote. Actually I rather like that, from now on anything that I fail to do will be Rosie Kane's fault. Tee Hee imagine her surprise when I invoice her next time I get bank charges after a financial mishap.
Finally and most staggering of all for me was his reaction to his constituency being named as the worst place to live in Scotland. You'd think he'd be affronted, but no. It is all the fault of Thatcher and the SNP. Ferguslie Park like most working class communities in Scotland took an awful battering under the Tories. However it might be nice if after ten years in government and in control of Renfrewshire Council, not to mention a majority in the Scottish Parliament the Labour Party took some responsibility for the state of the place. I wouldn't mind but you never hear them say 'we'll be unable to make any difference unless we're elected for four hundred years'. The Tories made the mess, Labour were elected in a triumph of optimism over common bloody sense to clean it up not whine about the SNP, the SSP or the sodding Tories.
All this begs the question, what is the Labour Party actually for? Despite being elected they are powerless to do anything without being thwarted by the opposition. Having read Mr Kelly's blog I suggest we all just cut out the middle man and elect the opposition party of your choice. It's a vast conspiracy from right to far left so there's something for everyone. If they're going to be in the background sabotaging things we might as well elect them to keep a better eye on the blighters.
Cheerio
Update -News of Tezzabaws' gold standard idiocy has spread;
Brit Blog Round Up
Scottish Blog Round Up
Someone very kindly sent me this Councillor Kelly v Science and this Councillor Kelly v The Mormons (for an anti- sectarian Catholic, he doesn't seem to have much time for other Christian sects).
I'd like to take this opportunity to introduce you all to the bad boy of Paisley politics Councillor Terry Kelly. He was brought to my attention by the lovely boys over at the Scottish Blogging Round Up and the charming Mr MacNumpty.
It's hard to know where to start. For some reason Mr Clairwil and I were reduced to tears of helpless laughter at the phrase 'I am a socialist' under his photo. I don't know why I find it so hilarious but every time I think about it I giggle like a loon. The fun doesn't stop there some of the posts are pure gold. At first I suspected it might be a spoof blog, a send up of the archetypal Scottish Labour balloon, but a phone call to one his constituents confirms that it is indeed real. Mind you, his predecessor was much worse (links to crime, missing money-the usual Labour snouts in trough stuff). If these 'good socialists' put as much effort into enriching the people as they do into lining their own pockets we'd all be living in solid gold council housing and each have a private jet in the driveway.
Curiously our Terry refers to 'Paisley's shame' as a period when the SNP and the Tories were running the show. Whilst I'm no fan of the Tories and am fairly unimpressed by the SNP, I would have thought that he'd find the dodgy dealings of his fellow party members far more shameful than the electorate failing to share his views. Then again I grew out that that phase of thinking everyone who has different politics to you is evil when I was about sixteen, unfortunately Councillor Kelly seems to have given up developing mentally at some point during adolescence. The cliche goes that you could get a monkey in a Labour rosette elected in the West Of Scotland, having read our Tezza's blog I am now convinced that you could easily dispense with the monkey and get the rosette elected. Incidentally if anyone is interested I was thinking of putting an old shoe up as an alternative Labour candidate at the next election to see how many votes it would get, if you can help please get in touch.
Councillor Kelly has something of a bee in his bonnet about gay rights, so much so that he is very cross with the SNP who he reckons are anti-gay because one of their MSP's is a Mormon and has arranged work experience for Mormons from Brigham Young University, which being Christian takes a dim view of the whole gay thing. He also reckons that Ruth Kelly's position in the Labour Party is 'untenable' because she takes a dim view of the gays. I think we have now established that our Tezza does not like people that don't like the gays. Fair enough except he declares that Fidel Castro is his hero. This puzzles me because I am reliably informed by Peter Tatchell that Mr Castro doesn't like the gays at all 'there are no homosexuals in the countryside' according to Fidel. I'm no expert but wasn't Fidel running the show when homosexuality was punishable by four years imprisonment or when failure to inform the authorities one's child was gay was considered a 'crime against the revolution'. To be fair things have eased up a bit in Cuba, nowadays they just imprison flamboyant homosexuals for twelve months and fine the rest. Like I say I'm no expert but if I were a gay Cuban I wouldn't be feeling very welcome at all under the rule of Councillor Kelly's hero (more here if you're interested).
I did wonder if Councillor Kelly's tough stance on gay rights might be more to do with scoring points against the SNP, than any sincere principle. After all he does take a very dim view of Scottish Nationalism and it would appear Scottishness generally. I hate to point the finger so I'll move on to his rampant anti-Scottish stance. According to our elected friend anyone who likes any of the following is 'in a bad way' ; Kilts (£600), Haggis (not as good as curry), St Andrew (a flag apparently), Robert Burns (2nd rate plagiarist), whisky (the national drinks are apparently Irn-Bru and Buckfast). I am not for a moment arguing that one has to like any of these things, far from it. Try as I might I cannot drink whisky without being sick, I once brought shame on Scotland by demonstrating this in front several English people who were downing it by the bottle and displaying no ill effects. Needless to say they were as amused as I was embarrassed. Sadly I do not have the figure for a kilt, nor it has to be said the inclination to wear one. I am however 'in a bad way' according to Councillor Kelly I like a bit of vegetarian Haggis, I like Burns, I rather like the Scottish flag and I have nothing against good old St Andrew, he's as good a saint as any other, though arguably not as exciting as England's dragon slayer.
This reference to Burns being 'second rate' and a 'plagiarist' crops up several times on Councillor Kelly's blog. He doesn't actually take the time to tell us who he considers a first rate poet or inform the reader which of Burn's poems were plagiarized and from whom. This is unfortunate because it makes him look like he's just put it in to annoy nationalists and admirers of Burns work rather than as a piece of informed comment. As he doesn't explain I can only guess that what he describes as plagiarism is Burns' use of traditional folk tunes and so on in his work. Alan touches on this in last years Burns Night post on his blog . I strongly recommend you read Alan's post, it is excellent, though be careful about reading it too soon after visiting Councillor Kelly's blog. I just did and it's left me feeling a bit disorientated as if I'd just gone from reading the back of a lavatory door to the collected works of Jane Austen in less than sixty seconds.
He is also unimpressed by the idea that the Golden Eagle should be declared Scotland's national bird, preferring the more common Starling. From reading his blog I can only presume that this is because the idea of Scotland being associated with anything beautiful, majestic and impressive is an anathema to him. God help us, if that clown were in charge, the Highlands would be turned into a car park and Loch Lomond filled in. Look at his cheery tone as he elevates downmarket Irn Bru and Buckfast over whisky as the national drink. God forbid Scotland should excel at anything above the gutter, God forbid that we should aspire to anything or be proud of a homegrown industry producing a world class spirit. I have long given up expecting anything from our elected representatives but he could at least hide his contempt, he could at least pretend he's trying to improve things. I'd suggest he leaves Scotland since he clearly despises it so much however to inflict this absurdity on another nation could only be interpreted as a grave insult and may lead to war. A keen anti-racist like Councillor Kelly might also want to bear in mind that running down one's own country and it's traditions all the time and writing respectfully of other countries is more likely to get peoples backs up than make them more welcoming to Polish and other migrants. Just a thought.
His post on Housing Stock Transfer is another gem. He's hopping mad that the people of Renfrewshire voted against it. Who does he blame for this outrage? Not himself and his council chums for failing to convince the electorate. Reading Councillor Kelly's blog one soon learns that everything bad that happens is the fault of the SNP, the Conservatives or the SSP. On this occasion it's the SSP to blame by er campaigning for a No vote and being believed by more of the electorate that those campaigning for a Yes vote. You can't blame him for thinking the electorate are stupid given that they elected him, I must admit the thought has crossed my mind, but he carries on like they've been hypnotised by the SS as he calls them. Of course it doesn't enter his head that people might have been a bit put off housing stock transfer after the GHA started sequestrating poverty stricken home owners who couldn't pay for repairs in 12months or less. It's been some years since I read Marx but is bankrupting poor people and making them homeless, strictly speaking, Socialist? I'm no expert but I don't think it is. He also blames the SSP because the Labour controlled council were so confident of a Yes vote they hadn't bothered to think up a plan b in the event of a No vote. Actually I rather like that, from now on anything that I fail to do will be Rosie Kane's fault. Tee Hee imagine her surprise when I invoice her next time I get bank charges after a financial mishap.
Finally and most staggering of all for me was his reaction to his constituency being named as the worst place to live in Scotland. You'd think he'd be affronted, but no. It is all the fault of Thatcher and the SNP. Ferguslie Park like most working class communities in Scotland took an awful battering under the Tories. However it might be nice if after ten years in government and in control of Renfrewshire Council, not to mention a majority in the Scottish Parliament the Labour Party took some responsibility for the state of the place. I wouldn't mind but you never hear them say 'we'll be unable to make any difference unless we're elected for four hundred years'. The Tories made the mess, Labour were elected in a triumph of optimism over common bloody sense to clean it up not whine about the SNP, the SSP or the sodding Tories.
All this begs the question, what is the Labour Party actually for? Despite being elected they are powerless to do anything without being thwarted by the opposition. Having read Mr Kelly's blog I suggest we all just cut out the middle man and elect the opposition party of your choice. It's a vast conspiracy from right to far left so there's something for everyone. If they're going to be in the background sabotaging things we might as well elect them to keep a better eye on the blighters.
Cheerio
Update -News of Tezzabaws' gold standard idiocy has spread;
Brit Blog Round Up
Scottish Blog Round Up
Someone very kindly sent me this Councillor Kelly v Science and this Councillor Kelly v The Mormons (for an anti- sectarian Catholic, he doesn't seem to have much time for other Christian sects).
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