4/07/2007

The Internet Hates Me

Hello,
Following on from my earlier post about the horror involved in trying to set up a website. I'm still stuck. Some of the clever types below have asked me for more information! Ha! they don't realise quite what a dunce they're dealing with. Anyway here is my version of events. Can anyone shed any light on this catastrophe?

I purchased a website regarding popular skin conditions on ebay with the aim of polluting the internet with with yet another advertising site. This website reckons it's ready to go for adsense and that all one has to do is insert their adsense ID and then publish. Oh they made it sound so bloody easy and I'm sure it is for other people.


I downloaded it and opened it using WinRAR. All the templates opened in Firefox after I'd unzipped them. I didn't ask them to, it just happened. Also supplied with the programme was a search and replace tool. The instructions said that I should type in my adsense code, hit search and replace and that would be the editing done. It didn't work and kept saying that the code I wished to replace didn't exist! But it did because I've seen it!

As the files kept opening as the finished article rather than html. I used the view source option and copied the template into notepad. This then allowed me to replace the relevant bit of code by hand not using the fucking tool.

For my next trick I then tried to upload the files to my website. Oh sweet Jesus! Why did I bother? I followed the instructions in windows which seem simple but are a wicked trick. The only option I'm given is to upload to MSN groups. Nowhere else. Who in their right mind wants to only send things to MSN? Why can't I add my webhost?


So I went to my control panel. Noted their template editor was useless unless you just want to pick one of their templates, so I installed Joomla. Why Joomla? I don't know I just liked the name. Joomla is a cunt. Every time I try and upload the templates I get an error message. It has thus far allowed me to upload a banner with no problem, then turned against me. It did allow me to copy and paste a page of code in but it came out all wrong!

I realise that I am at fault here. I just can't understand where I went wrong. I'm not great with computers but this is absurd. I thought templates would make life easier.

Cheerio

11 comments:

Longrider said...

Are you using an FTP program to upload? If not, try downloading and using smart ftp: here

It's free for non commercial use. You will need to know your account settings given to you by your host. Then it's just a matter of dragging and dropping.

Clairwil said...

Cheers I'll give that a go.

A friend said...

It seems like a coincidence but I wonder if it could be deliberate sabotage. Obviously alot of people are jealous of your beauty and contacts and how many men fancy you. I am thinking of setting up a website to counter their lies.

A friend

Clairwil said...

Well yes obviously I do know who it is. They are just trying to sabotage my research. I know from my experience at MI6 that this is exactly how they operate. They did the same to Diana.

She was beautiful too.

ClairwilLover said...

Not as lovely as you, Clairwil.

ClairwilPhile said...

I am a different person from the commenter above but I wholeheartedly agree with what they said about you being lovely and beautiful.

I think they should have said more about how many men fancy you though because it is lots.

Clairwil said...

Now I have had lots of emails from my fans about this sort of thing.

Please fans, I only want peace. I know some of you feel that the male attention I receive should be mentioned every comment and there are others who fell my beauty should stand alone.

Let me settle this once and for all. I'm just Clairwil! Yes I am blessed with beauty and intelligence but I'm not God! Apart from my gifts I'm just a lady trying to get by in this world.

Like Diana. Before they took her from us.

Clairwil Rocks! said...

I am a man who is different from the two people who commented above and I just want to say that I think you only look about seventeen.

Also, I have committed every single sentence of your blog to memory because it is all so good that I cannot bear to be without it. Sometimes I do readings for my friends at MI6.

Sunny said...

Well, I won't partake in this Clairwil worship-fest going on, because frankly her ego is already beginning to rival mine, but I can try and help.

Firstly Joomla is too big a program for something as simple as this. All you need is the domain or website and upload all the files using an FTP program like Longrider linked above. Another very small program is LeechFTP.

The adsense code replace business, well you can do that manually (I have a program called Homesite that can help you edit HTML files and do extensive search-and-replace jobs over multiples files if you want? Just mail me if you need more help!

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