"We are paying for allowing the jocks to run the government (the "british" one). We expect them to be like us. They obviously do not value honesty and integrity like we do. Yes, it is generalisation, but some stereotypes are true. Look back at some of the governments. Did they lie like new labour do? The tories were bad, but even they didn't like like new labour do. In my opinion, this "government" has to be the worst of all time. Run by deceitful, arrogant, jocks you see?"
'........the archaetypal jock. Arrogant and hypocritical!'
' They dont want to associate the stupid scotch flag with imperialism that's why they are trying this crap on. They are too cowardly to put their hands up and say, yes scotlands flag was ALSO part of the union flag (note the 'was'). Typical pansy jocks. I swear they are born idiots.They make me puke. One minute it's, 'without scotland there would have been no empire', the next it's 'oh the English were responsible for all the bad bits'. They haven't quite grown up yet. I used to feel sorry for them, now I can't stand in the same room as them. I feel that way because of THEM, not because of me. They created this tension, not English folks. Of course they are so pathetically childish that they cannot even act grown up enough to take responsibilty for the devolution mess either. What do they say? Tony blair is English. Oh yeah blair is English, but of course someone born in the usa with a scotch surname is scotch!!! Double standards there methinks.I told you. They are cowards, liars and infantile.'
Hello,
When I'm not busy contemplating the best way to take over the United Kingdom and destroy England I enjoy a good ponder. I've just been watching Newsnight and it would appear the English have rumbled us. Worse still they're hopping mad that they've been subsidising us for years to sit about frittering away public money while they pay all the taxes and do all the work.
However I was very puzzled by one fellow who after remarking on our sinister 'aspiration' said 'no-one wants to see them go'. Why the fuck not? Lets ponder the evidence. We cannot speak in a coherent manner. We are mean. We are drunk, violent, unhealthy and downright dishonest. Oh yes and dirty , disease ridden, inbred and insane. Oh yes and we rape schoolgirls if England do well at football. Most unforgivable of all we have even infiltrated the GMTV bouquet and ruined several episodes of Emmerdale. Fucked up the railways.......
In short virtually all of the worlds problems can be attributed to Scotland. So why does 'no-one want to see us go'? If Scotland were to be governed by say England for example and they behaved like that towards us I'd want rid. I'm totally bewildered why would anyone want to be in any way connected with such an awful country. Answers please....
Cheerio
5/14/2006
Multicultural Glasgow
Hello,
The marching season er... marches on and this week I am proud to bring you coverage of todays events on the High Street. Never let it be said that I'm not even handed so after the recent Orange fun- behold the Republicans. I know people get very irate at these marches but has anyone considered the benefits of them as a traffic calming measure? I reckon we should keep a few on standby and every time there's a build up of traffic we unleash a couple of flute bands to stop any new cars joining the traffic jam. Then when the traffic is dispersed they can retreat to wait for their next call. I know some people might find the idea a bit controversial but let's face they beat the pants off speed bumps any day.
Cheerio
5/11/2006
Hurrah For The Taxman!
Hello,
I've been engaged in a long term 'robust' discussion with one of my work colleagues regarding whether or not income tax is too high. I have been arguing that the level of income tax I pay is very reasonable whereas council tax is set at an outrageously high level. They agree with me about council tax but disagree very loudly and lengthily about income tax.
You can therefore imagine my dismay when I arrived in work to be confronted with a tirade of taunting from my colleague who very smugly advised me that my tax code has been wrong for the last two years and I was facing financial ruin.
One phone call to the inland revenue later and it was my turn to be smug. It seems I have overpaid my income tax by around £1500 and am therefore due a hefty rebate. That's my holiday paid for then. My work colleague has taken this piece of news very badly indeed and has now convinced themselves that they are somehow subsidising me through their income tax. As you can imagine I've been doing my best to appear conciliatory about the whole thing and have offered to show them the cheque when I receive it. Unfortunately this made her even angrier. Some people can be very ungrateful.
Speaking of money for nothing this John Prescott business is confusing me. What is he for? Have the government gone mad? I would have thought even Tony and co would have had the wit to make up some duties to try and justify Mr Prescott's over generous salary. Even making him cabinet tea boy or giving him a bit of filing to do would have been something. Either Tony is deliberately trying to turn the electorate against them to spite Gordon Brown or he's having some sort of hissy fit at us. I haven't made my mind up which it is yet probably a bit of both. I will keep you posted should anything remarkable occur to me.
I'm still on myspace if anyone is interested. C'mon be my friend.
Cheerio
I've been engaged in a long term 'robust' discussion with one of my work colleagues regarding whether or not income tax is too high. I have been arguing that the level of income tax I pay is very reasonable whereas council tax is set at an outrageously high level. They agree with me about council tax but disagree very loudly and lengthily about income tax.
You can therefore imagine my dismay when I arrived in work to be confronted with a tirade of taunting from my colleague who very smugly advised me that my tax code has been wrong for the last two years and I was facing financial ruin.
One phone call to the inland revenue later and it was my turn to be smug. It seems I have overpaid my income tax by around £1500 and am therefore due a hefty rebate. That's my holiday paid for then. My work colleague has taken this piece of news very badly indeed and has now convinced themselves that they are somehow subsidising me through their income tax. As you can imagine I've been doing my best to appear conciliatory about the whole thing and have offered to show them the cheque when I receive it. Unfortunately this made her even angrier. Some people can be very ungrateful.
Speaking of money for nothing this John Prescott business is confusing me. What is he for? Have the government gone mad? I would have thought even Tony and co would have had the wit to make up some duties to try and justify Mr Prescott's over generous salary. Even making him cabinet tea boy or giving him a bit of filing to do would have been something. Either Tony is deliberately trying to turn the electorate against them to spite Gordon Brown or he's having some sort of hissy fit at us. I haven't made my mind up which it is yet probably a bit of both. I will keep you posted should anything remarkable occur to me.
I'm still on myspace if anyone is interested. C'mon be my friend.
Cheerio
5/07/2006
With Apologies To David Duff ......
Hello,
Despite David Duff's plea not to take part in this 'meme' business I will be telling you seven things you didn't know about me. However I will be taking up his excellent suggestion to call it a questionnaire rather than a meme which I like because it makes me sound quite remote from the hurly burly of daily life on yon internet.
1. I really have no idea what the point of 'memes' is and worry that I'm stupid because when I looked up the explanation I got too bored to take it in properly.
2. I was a very quiet child, then between the ages of about fifteen and twenty five I became very outgoing. I've gone very quiet again and I really dislike myself quite intensely for it.
3. I have lost touch with most of my friends because I took to staying in to avoid the humiliation of having to tell people what I did for a living. Now I have a job I'm not ashamed of and hardly any friends.
4. I find asking for help very humiliating.
5. I worry that life will not get any better than this.
6. I own two self help books that I've never read because I'm afraid I'll turn into Caroline Caplin if I do.
7. The older I get the more sentimental I get. I cry at virtually anything which is to say the least highly embarrassing and not the image I wish to project to the world.
If I get round to it I might write a proper post later. I'm aware that I'm supposed to tag three people with this but cannot be bothered. If you're stuck for stuff to write about feel free to copy the questionnaire.
Cheerio
Despite David Duff's plea not to take part in this 'meme' business I will be telling you seven things you didn't know about me. However I will be taking up his excellent suggestion to call it a questionnaire rather than a meme which I like because it makes me sound quite remote from the hurly burly of daily life on yon internet.
1. I really have no idea what the point of 'memes' is and worry that I'm stupid because when I looked up the explanation I got too bored to take it in properly.
2. I was a very quiet child, then between the ages of about fifteen and twenty five I became very outgoing. I've gone very quiet again and I really dislike myself quite intensely for it.
3. I have lost touch with most of my friends because I took to staying in to avoid the humiliation of having to tell people what I did for a living. Now I have a job I'm not ashamed of and hardly any friends.
4. I find asking for help very humiliating.
5. I worry that life will not get any better than this.
6. I own two self help books that I've never read because I'm afraid I'll turn into Caroline Caplin if I do.
7. The older I get the more sentimental I get. I cry at virtually anything which is to say the least highly embarrassing and not the image I wish to project to the world.
If I get round to it I might write a proper post later. I'm aware that I'm supposed to tag three people with this but cannot be bothered. If you're stuck for stuff to write about feel free to copy the questionnaire.
Cheerio
5/06/2006
The World Of Blogging.
Hello,
Distressing news from the blogging world has reached my wee ears via the fine Cape To Rio. I am sad to report a particular favourite of mine The Anti-Barney has left us and dear, old Binty McShae has disappeared. I should stress, in case any relatives of theirs are reading this that they have only disappeared from the webternet. I hope and believe they're still on the go in the real world.
On the plus side a very old favourite of mine Jamie4U seems to have reappeared but sadly gone again.
It also occurs to me that I have never, ever been tagged with a meme. This is a statement not an invitation, however Illman has been tagged and I've been at the blogging much longer than he has. It's just like my second primary school all over again. The other children would play games and exclude me for being new/thinking I was better than them. Mercifully the 'Clairwil Germs' game has not been resurrected- yet.
Cheerio
Distressing news from the blogging world has reached my wee ears via the fine Cape To Rio. I am sad to report a particular favourite of mine The Anti-Barney has left us and dear, old Binty McShae has disappeared. I should stress, in case any relatives of theirs are reading this that they have only disappeared from the webternet. I hope and believe they're still on the go in the real world.
On the plus side a very old favourite of mine Jamie4U seems to have reappeared but sadly gone again.
It also occurs to me that I have never, ever been tagged with a meme. This is a statement not an invitation, however Illman has been tagged and I've been at the blogging much longer than he has. It's just like my second primary school all over again. The other children would play games and exclude me for being new/thinking I was better than them. Mercifully the 'Clairwil Germs' game has not been resurrected- yet.
Cheerio
5/04/2006
I Think My Luck Has Just Run Out......
Hello,
On Monday evening I invented the worlds finest curry. It was a thing of total splendour. A majestic thing fashioned almost entirely from stuff in my cupboards. I scoffed the last portion tonight. The downside to all this is that I have no idea what went into the bloody thing. Imagine inventing the worlds best curry then forgetting how you did it. If only I were more organised, I could have patented the recipe and been rich, rich, rich. Oh bugger!
Worse still it has been brought to my attention by a gentleman friend that Footballers Wives has been axed. I cannot begin to explain how much I love that show. I am bereft. I hate ITV.
Little else to report other than to invite fellow myspacers to be my friend and take the bare look off me.
Cheerio
On Monday evening I invented the worlds finest curry. It was a thing of total splendour. A majestic thing fashioned almost entirely from stuff in my cupboards. I scoffed the last portion tonight. The downside to all this is that I have no idea what went into the bloody thing. Imagine inventing the worlds best curry then forgetting how you did it. If only I were more organised, I could have patented the recipe and been rich, rich, rich. Oh bugger!
Worse still it has been brought to my attention by a gentleman friend that Footballers Wives has been axed. I cannot begin to explain how much I love that show. I am bereft. I hate ITV.
Little else to report other than to invite fellow myspacers to be my friend and take the bare look off me.
Cheerio
5/01/2006
When Will Life Get Interesting?
Hello,
As planned I took a stroll along to the May Day march in Glasgow today. It was sodding useless! I arrived at one o'clock and wasted thirty five minutes looking at some white people with dreadlocks standing about doing bugger all. It's hard to muster much respect for the dreadlock sporting white chap at the best of times but today's non events took the biscuit.
I'm sorry but I cannot even begin to sympathise with people with such a casual attitude to time. Anarchists need to realise that some rules were made to be kept. How on earth to they expect to bring down global capitalism if they can't even agree to do something at a particular time? Poor time keeping is never going to get the public onside. People respect good time keeping. Think about it. What is the only nice thing people ever say about that fat fool Mussolini? If you guessed 'even Mussolini got the trains to run on time' go to the top of the class. These anarchists would do well to pay attention to the example of Mr Mussolini and his timeous trains, though it would be best if they ignored all the nasty fascist business and refrained from invading Ethiopia and the like.
Of course the police were out in force standing about clocking up the easiest overtime they've ever earned in their lives. You could almost hear them thinking 'hmmm- new conservatory or a trip to Disneyland'- the swines!
I'm starting to wonder if it's my presence that turns people into such pointless tits. My whole life I've been plagued by the feeling that everyone else is of somewhere having a marvellous time and I'm being excluded. For example look at these anarchists and their tricks. I doubt very much whether these tricks do much to bring about change, though I'd be happy to be proved wrong, however they are pleasing diversion and a hoot.
I tried a similar trick in my own youth by making flyers for a night at a club that didn't exist and left them about the place. Not for any real reason, I just felt like it. Of course I was acting alone on a low budget and couldn't make much of an impact, though I hope at least one person was puzzled. Sadly I've met very few people in my life who are into mischief in any sort of way. I seem to attract 'oooh we'll get into trouble' types' or worse the 'that is so immature' brigade. I pride myself on my immaturity as frankly the alternative is being a prematurely old bore who is obsessed with the 'point' of things all the time.
However I remain optimistic, somewhere out there is a gang of class clowns just waiting for my guiding hand to spur them on to greater heights of mischief. The one thing the internet has convinced me of is that I'm not alone in the world. The search for actors of the giddy goat continues.
Cheerio
Oh sorry forgot to mention- this is really funny.
As planned I took a stroll along to the May Day march in Glasgow today. It was sodding useless! I arrived at one o'clock and wasted thirty five minutes looking at some white people with dreadlocks standing about doing bugger all. It's hard to muster much respect for the dreadlock sporting white chap at the best of times but today's non events took the biscuit.
I'm sorry but I cannot even begin to sympathise with people with such a casual attitude to time. Anarchists need to realise that some rules were made to be kept. How on earth to they expect to bring down global capitalism if they can't even agree to do something at a particular time? Poor time keeping is never going to get the public onside. People respect good time keeping. Think about it. What is the only nice thing people ever say about that fat fool Mussolini? If you guessed 'even Mussolini got the trains to run on time' go to the top of the class. These anarchists would do well to pay attention to the example of Mr Mussolini and his timeous trains, though it would be best if they ignored all the nasty fascist business and refrained from invading Ethiopia and the like.
Of course the police were out in force standing about clocking up the easiest overtime they've ever earned in their lives. You could almost hear them thinking 'hmmm- new conservatory or a trip to Disneyland'- the swines!
I'm starting to wonder if it's my presence that turns people into such pointless tits. My whole life I've been plagued by the feeling that everyone else is of somewhere having a marvellous time and I'm being excluded. For example look at these anarchists and their tricks. I doubt very much whether these tricks do much to bring about change, though I'd be happy to be proved wrong, however they are pleasing diversion and a hoot.
I tried a similar trick in my own youth by making flyers for a night at a club that didn't exist and left them about the place. Not for any real reason, I just felt like it. Of course I was acting alone on a low budget and couldn't make much of an impact, though I hope at least one person was puzzled. Sadly I've met very few people in my life who are into mischief in any sort of way. I seem to attract 'oooh we'll get into trouble' types' or worse the 'that is so immature' brigade. I pride myself on my immaturity as frankly the alternative is being a prematurely old bore who is obsessed with the 'point' of things all the time.
However I remain optimistic, somewhere out there is a gang of class clowns just waiting for my guiding hand to spur them on to greater heights of mischief. The one thing the internet has convinced me of is that I'm not alone in the world. The search for actors of the giddy goat continues.
Cheerio
Oh sorry forgot to mention- this is really funny.
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