3/14/2007

The End Of The World Is Nigh.

Hello,
I like to imagine God sitting about smoking a pipe and wondering what we're all up to. Let's all pray that no-one tells him because if they do we're doomed. When I say 'we' I don't mean you or I. It's a bunch of pervos I'm on about. Namely 'sock sniffers' . Worse still they seem to be into sniffing vile, white sports socks and worst of all comedy socks. I must stress that these are used socks which if the adverts are to believed have been worn by 'chavs' and 'scallies'.

There's no law against this sort of thing or if there is it hasn't come to my attention but y'know yuck. What's the attraction in dirty socks? Why? Bearing in mind that I am a lady, can anyone explain, using carefully chosen euphemisms, what these freaks do with the socks? Is it a big joke or do they really get excited by them?

I'm amazed there hasn't been a sock related sex crime in Glasgow over the last few years. For a while all the neds were walking about with sports socks pulled up over the lower leg of their tracksuit bottoms. I did wonder what they were up to but not for a second did I imagine that they were some sort of exhibitionists on the sock scene.

All that said there appears to be an emerging used ladies tights scene and whilst I can't say I approve, if anyone would like to save me doing a washing I'm open to offers.

Cheerio


10 comments:

Anonymous said...

The question i want answering is; What the hell are you up to? How do you find out about this? How much time do you devote to this interest in fetishes?

Clairwil said...

Oh usually about half an hour or so a week. I am a keen student of peculiar behaviour.

iLL Man said...

I knew there was a market for ladies used undergarments, but used sports socks? Almost(but not quite) as bizarre as saddle sniffing.

"Sports Socks! Used Sports Socks! Three pair a pound!"

Billy said...

Ah foot fetishism. Well sports socks do have a distinctive smell.

Gavin said...

This gives me an idea! If anyone's interested, I had a really stressful sweaty day in the office last week, working on a particularly complex capital gains tax computation. I tell you, Right Guard just wasn't up to the task that day. The shirt I wore, still not washed, yours for £35 or nearest offer.

Clairwil said...

Oh God!
What have I started?

Anonymous said...

It may be urban myth, but I've heard that ladies used undergarments are available from vending machines in Japan.

alan said...

"five pair of my tights they are the tights i wore to work this week they are 15 denier luxury and very soft to the touch they will be washed to ebay rules... "

i'm definitely interested, but wtf does 'washed to ebay rules' mean?

Clairwil said...

I think it means that they won't really be washed but the seller needs to add it to comply with the rules. Good God, what is the attraction in sweaty tights?

alan said...

hmmmnnn........ yes. i'd like to see the wording of that particular rule. anyway, i've placed my bid, and i'll let you know about the attraction or otherwise if and when i get my hands on them.