I like to imagine God sitting about smoking a pipe and wondering what we're all up to. Let's all pray that no-one tells him because if they do we're doomed. When I say 'we' I don't mean you or I. It's a bunch of pervos I'm on about. Namely 'sock sniffers' . Worse still they seem to be into sniffing vile, white sports socks and worst of all comedy socks. I must stress that these are used socks which if the adverts are to believed have been worn by 'chavs' and 'scallies'.
There's no law against this sort of thing or if there is it hasn't come to my attention but y'know yuck. What's the attraction in dirty socks? Why? Bearing in mind that I am a lady, can anyone explain, using carefully chosen euphemisms, what these freaks do with the socks? Is it a big joke or do they really get excited by them?
I'm amazed there hasn't been a sock related sex crime in Glasgow over the last few years. For a while all the neds were walking about with sports socks pulled up over the lower leg of their tracksuit bottoms. I did wonder what they were up to but not for a second did I imagine that they were some sort of exhibitionists on the sock scene.
All that said there appears to be an emerging used ladies tights scene and whilst I can't say I approve, if anyone would like to save me doing a washing I'm open to offers.