Hello,
As a young pup I was forever getting into trouble for laughing at things. My Modern Studies teacher* was the worst for it -there I'd be having a pleasant chuckle with one of my chums when he'd butt in without so much as an apology and go off on one about how I wouldn't find it funny when I failed my exams. Twit! What I did find fucking hilarious was showing him my certificate with a big 'A' pass on it and telling him I had only done half an hours study the night before the exam. Exams are a doddle -it was bloody continuous assessment that did for me until I learned how to play the system.
I've never understood this madness governments have about exam results. Passing exams proves nothing much at all and as far as I can tell results in bewildered graduates cluttering up call centres muttering about having a degree and looking down on their fellow workers who got in to the call centre racket without so much as a single O Grade. Imagine wasting all that time doing a degree to get a job that doesn't require qualifications!
Still to return to the point, it is an awkward thing but once someone tells you to stop laughing it is physically impossible to do so, especially if they tell you to stop laughing at them. 'Stop laughing at me' is comedy gold-without doubt the funniest phrase in spoken English.
Which is why I can't help thinking that President Zardari is making a terrible error by trying to stop the good folk of his country having a cheeky Pakistani chuckle at his expense. Obviously he didn't say it in English but laughing at politicians is a pastime that transcends borders and language. Of course I'd like to think he just done it to encourage more chuckling in Pakistan and is nobly sacrificing himself as a laughter lamb in the cause of increasing the gaiety of the nation. However I suspect he's probably just a humourless git with totalitarian tendencies. Boo! Hiss!to him.
I just hope Brown doesn't go getting any ideas, though people don't really laugh at Brown much do they. It's more baffled despair than giggles these days isn't it? Still one never knows what Brown is thinking so keep your eyes peeled for any anti-joke legislation in the offing. In the event that Brown is looking abroad for inspiration can I commend to him the fine example laid down for the guidance of leaders everywhere by good old Berlusconi? He's great isn't he? Well politically and ethically he's dubious but when it comes down to it everyone loves a shagger unless they're a boring puritan with a mouth like a cats puckered arse.
I loathed the last Tory government with a ferocity that bordered on homicidal but never failed to grin at their racy antics. One can never truly despise someone who's paid good money to have a call girl hurl doughnuts at his willy, been spanked with a slipper or interfered with wearing nowt but a football strip and a smile. The glory days of the Back to Basics campaign were some of my happiest. Everyday another one would be caught sans breeks. It fair took the edge the misery they were causing at the time.
To that end I think Brown should become a sexual deviant of some sort and take up with the newly single Jordan. It probably wouldn't do much to GDP or whatever boring statistics we're all enslaved by these days by twits who labour under the misapprehension that anything that doesn't turn a coin is inherently evil but think what a surprise it would be. It'd be a hoot, an absolute hoot -probably the biggest hoot of all time. You really would remember where you were for the rest of your days when you found out Brown was stirring Andre's porridge.
As I pootle about my bit of the world I cannot help but notice there is a big cloud of misery hanging over people who follow current affairs. In contrast people who never read a thing and greet the arrival of the evening news bulletin with a 'quick turn over' are as happy as any sentient human can be. I don't hold with not being interested in politics-if they're docking my wages I want to know what they're up to. A good shagging scandal brings us all together in a collective 'Good Lord'. The economy is a joke, no-one can find work that needs it, we're the most bossed about democratic nation on earth and despite the best efforts of workers our public services are a mess. It's only going to get worse under the next lot unless you're minted.
In other words there's not a lot to smile about politically and Brown as the man in charge has a duty to perk us all up by doing something human and gossipworthy. It worked for Clinton**what did he ever do but bomb asprin factories, Iraq and fail to deliver on healthcare reform, gays in the military and so on, yet everyone loves him because he's a shagger.
Cheerio
*Not nice Mr Miller but that simpering proto Blairite careerist cunt MacGregor.
** I once met 'that woman' Miss Lewinsky at a book signing, her's not mine and she's a beauty- in particular her hair, eyes and skin. In all my life I've never seen anyone in the flesh with such beautiful creamy white skin. I was an remain slightly in love and awe. Clinton was lucky to get within spitting distance really.
Showing posts with label pickled politics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pickled politics. Show all posts
7/25/2009
6/14/2008
Good Old Ireland/Bunch of EU Bastards
Hello,
I was delighted to see the Irish vote No to The Lisbon Treaty though sadly less so when the realisation hit me seconds later that they might as well vote yes for all the difference it will make in the longer term.
I'm afraid people have long wished to throw shoes at my head over my opposition to the EU and it's works, which I wouldn't mind if they'd at least come up with a compelling argument in it's favour rather than accusing me of hating the French. An accusation as offensive as it is wrong, it's true that I take a dim view of the excesses of the French Revolution and the consumption of snails but other than that I rather admire France.
Anyway it's prompted me to have a general rant about the EU safe in the knowledge that if you throw shoes at it you'll only be harming your own monitor.
There is so much to loathe about the EU it's hard to know where to start so while I think of somewhere to start the nasty stuff I shall refer to the type of European integration I'd like to see. The EU already runs an exchange programme for students, the ERASMUS programme. According to Wikipedia; 'The ERASMUS experience is considered both a time for learning as well as a chance to socialize. "Erasmus parties" are known in university cities across Europe for being boisterous, multilingual events.' More power to it's elbow on that score. I'd be very supportive of programmes like this being extended to offer the similar opportunities to secondary school pupils and in fact everyone else who fancies a swap.
If the British government were really into integration as opposed to creating lucrative scams for the political elite they'd do something about language teaching in schools. A good start would be ensuring everyone that leaves school is able to communicate coherently in English* and has at least a basic grasp of one other European language. Though if you're in favour of a vast Europe-wide unelected bureaucracy that regards the people as an inconvenience I suppose the last thing you'd want is them getting together. In other words I won't be holding my breath.
Some opponents of the EU believe that greater EU integration believe that we will lose our national identity as a result but that isn't what is at stake. In fact I often wish it was because that might stir people out of their apathy. No matter who is government Britain be as free as we ever were to wear tartan, say 'I really should get round to learning Gaelic', celebrate Burns Night and drink like fishes, morris dance, play absurd sports involving balls, drink tea, celebrate St Patrick's day but ignore George, Andrew and David, get teary eyed about the little boats at Dunkirk and the shipping forecast, moan about the weather, eat fish and chips, hoot at a PG Wodehouse and the like.
What we will lose is the ability to run our own countries. I haven't spent my entire life moaning about Westminster to arrive at the conclusion that Brussels would be any better. Why should it be? Any British PM who failed to run the UK for the benefit of the south would be a fool as Gordon Brown might discover shortly. Similarly the president of any future European superstate isn't going to have the interests of Scotland let alone the British Isles at heart -they'd be an idiot if they did. The right to self-determination is one that people around the world have fought and died for throughout history I for one am not willing to trade it for the right of bloated politicians to get rich.
The argument that opposition to the EU is xenophobic is in practice the most nakedly racist poison ever put to paper. If you like your blacks starving and your political class fat then the EU is a wonderful thing. For the rest of us in the human race the Common Agricultural Policy and our part in it should shame us all.
The generous subsides dished out to big farms each year prevent the development of third world countries developing agricultural export businesses the monies from which could be taxed and used to import essential foodstuffs in the lean years. Quite frankly anyone supporting this might as well support the slaughter and consumption of people from the Third World. At least that would be more humane than watching them starve on TV to the soundtrack of bad charity concerts.
Closer to home the CAP has driven numerous small farms out of business. It rewards over production and is inherently biased towards the big boys. I have no objection to business subsides per se but if there's money being dished out I'd put the small farmer ahead of big agri-business any day. Big companies are big and ugly enough to take care of themselves. The small farmer is at least owed a debt for maintaining the land and is going to be more useful to us in the event of food shortages whether man made or natural in origin. I'm not convinced by the whole climate change thing but there's no harm in being cautious. None of know what the future holds and in the event of food shortage I'd far rather be at the mercy of of someone with loyalty and a connection to the land they farm than a big business who'll flee and set up farm where there's money to be made.
The one good thing about the CAP is that it exposes our government's hypocrisy on smoking. Tobacco production enjoys generous subsidies whilst the smoker is to be harassed and harried. Remember that, every time you wonder whose side government is on. Big business could manufacture babies for rape and get away with it but the individual is a thing to be watched and regulated. Make no mistake the EU is totalitarian in it's impulses. The end result of such impulses in one country are horrifying enough but the implications for a European Superstate make me shudder. I 'll be delighted, relived and ecstatic to be proved wrong on this but I really to believe the EU is going to end end in oppression of the Europe that matters- the people.
Still let's lighten the mood by getting on to well less serious matters. We all know politicians are rouges. Would you believe that when the greatest rouges of Europe put their heads together they come up with even more daring, lucrative and downright evil scams than they could dream up alone? Not for nothing is the EU Parliament described as the millionaires club. In just five years one can trouser a million in expenses if the full allowance is claimed. What exactly is there for us to support in all this? I can do no better than direct you towards David Craig's Squandered for more on this subject. Still for the lazy let me provide a few examples. I am allowed to claim travel expenses in work. To do so I must submit receipts to ensure that I'm not claiming more than I'm due. If only I were an MEP I could just submit my boarding pass and pluck a figure from the air. In other words I could fly Easyjet and claim for business class BA. The most well known example of EU fraud is the sign on and sod off fee which can be claimed by any MEP willing to get to the parliament before 10am sign in and spend the rest of the day as they choose. Not a bad way to 'earn' £180. Oh and before you put your faith in whistleblowers look what happens when someone does try to expose them. I'll ask again but what exactly is there to support in all this?
Ah but Britain has opt outs I hear you say. That is true but as the Luxembourg Prime Minister has warned 'Countries like Britain, that are always claiming special clauses and using them, that always want to get out of common policies through opt-out clauses, need to know that they will become something like partial members'. In other words whilst you currently have the right to self-determination life can be made very difficult if you exercise that right. It rather puts the famous red lines into perspective. Frankly screaming 'you're not the boss of me' at the EU would have done more to protect Britain's interests and at least been amusing.
I can see why people are drawn to the idea of the EU, indeed there is much to recommend it and let's not forget it was dreamt up by people who seen Europe torn apart by war but there is nothing in this gigantic fraud for any decent person to aspire to. It might suit big business and it does suit bureaucrats and greedy politicians but for the rest of us it is a menace and a colossal waste of money.
Cheerio
* I have just discovered that I work with someone who spells 'what' 'wot'. That is only the tip of the iceberg.
I was delighted to see the Irish vote No to The Lisbon Treaty though sadly less so when the realisation hit me seconds later that they might as well vote yes for all the difference it will make in the longer term.
I'm afraid people have long wished to throw shoes at my head over my opposition to the EU and it's works, which I wouldn't mind if they'd at least come up with a compelling argument in it's favour rather than accusing me of hating the French. An accusation as offensive as it is wrong, it's true that I take a dim view of the excesses of the French Revolution and the consumption of snails but other than that I rather admire France.
Anyway it's prompted me to have a general rant about the EU safe in the knowledge that if you throw shoes at it you'll only be harming your own monitor.
There is so much to loathe about the EU it's hard to know where to start so while I think of somewhere to start the nasty stuff I shall refer to the type of European integration I'd like to see. The EU already runs an exchange programme for students, the ERASMUS programme. According to Wikipedia; 'The ERASMUS experience is considered both a time for learning as well as a chance to socialize. "Erasmus parties" are known in university cities across Europe for being boisterous, multilingual events.' More power to it's elbow on that score. I'd be very supportive of programmes like this being extended to offer the similar opportunities to secondary school pupils and in fact everyone else who fancies a swap.
If the British government were really into integration as opposed to creating lucrative scams for the political elite they'd do something about language teaching in schools. A good start would be ensuring everyone that leaves school is able to communicate coherently in English* and has at least a basic grasp of one other European language. Though if you're in favour of a vast Europe-wide unelected bureaucracy that regards the people as an inconvenience I suppose the last thing you'd want is them getting together. In other words I won't be holding my breath.
Some opponents of the EU believe that greater EU integration believe that we will lose our national identity as a result but that isn't what is at stake. In fact I often wish it was because that might stir people out of their apathy. No matter who is government Britain be as free as we ever were to wear tartan, say 'I really should get round to learning Gaelic', celebrate Burns Night and drink like fishes, morris dance, play absurd sports involving balls, drink tea, celebrate St Patrick's day but ignore George, Andrew and David, get teary eyed about the little boats at Dunkirk and the shipping forecast, moan about the weather, eat fish and chips, hoot at a PG Wodehouse and the like.
What we will lose is the ability to run our own countries. I haven't spent my entire life moaning about Westminster to arrive at the conclusion that Brussels would be any better. Why should it be? Any British PM who failed to run the UK for the benefit of the south would be a fool as Gordon Brown might discover shortly. Similarly the president of any future European superstate isn't going to have the interests of Scotland let alone the British Isles at heart -they'd be an idiot if they did. The right to self-determination is one that people around the world have fought and died for throughout history I for one am not willing to trade it for the right of bloated politicians to get rich.
The argument that opposition to the EU is xenophobic is in practice the most nakedly racist poison ever put to paper. If you like your blacks starving and your political class fat then the EU is a wonderful thing. For the rest of us in the human race the Common Agricultural Policy and our part in it should shame us all.
The generous subsides dished out to big farms each year prevent the development of third world countries developing agricultural export businesses the monies from which could be taxed and used to import essential foodstuffs in the lean years. Quite frankly anyone supporting this might as well support the slaughter and consumption of people from the Third World. At least that would be more humane than watching them starve on TV to the soundtrack of bad charity concerts.
Closer to home the CAP has driven numerous small farms out of business. It rewards over production and is inherently biased towards the big boys. I have no objection to business subsides per se but if there's money being dished out I'd put the small farmer ahead of big agri-business any day. Big companies are big and ugly enough to take care of themselves. The small farmer is at least owed a debt for maintaining the land and is going to be more useful to us in the event of food shortages whether man made or natural in origin. I'm not convinced by the whole climate change thing but there's no harm in being cautious. None of know what the future holds and in the event of food shortage I'd far rather be at the mercy of of someone with loyalty and a connection to the land they farm than a big business who'll flee and set up farm where there's money to be made.
The one good thing about the CAP is that it exposes our government's hypocrisy on smoking. Tobacco production enjoys generous subsidies whilst the smoker is to be harassed and harried. Remember that, every time you wonder whose side government is on. Big business could manufacture babies for rape and get away with it but the individual is a thing to be watched and regulated. Make no mistake the EU is totalitarian in it's impulses. The end result of such impulses in one country are horrifying enough but the implications for a European Superstate make me shudder. I 'll be delighted, relived and ecstatic to be proved wrong on this but I really to believe the EU is going to end end in oppression of the Europe that matters- the people.
Still let's lighten the mood by getting on to well less serious matters. We all know politicians are rouges. Would you believe that when the greatest rouges of Europe put their heads together they come up with even more daring, lucrative and downright evil scams than they could dream up alone? Not for nothing is the EU Parliament described as the millionaires club. In just five years one can trouser a million in expenses if the full allowance is claimed. What exactly is there for us to support in all this? I can do no better than direct you towards David Craig's Squandered for more on this subject. Still for the lazy let me provide a few examples. I am allowed to claim travel expenses in work. To do so I must submit receipts to ensure that I'm not claiming more than I'm due. If only I were an MEP I could just submit my boarding pass and pluck a figure from the air. In other words I could fly Easyjet and claim for business class BA. The most well known example of EU fraud is the sign on and sod off fee which can be claimed by any MEP willing to get to the parliament before 10am sign in and spend the rest of the day as they choose. Not a bad way to 'earn' £180. Oh and before you put your faith in whistleblowers look what happens when someone does try to expose them. I'll ask again but what exactly is there to support in all this?
Ah but Britain has opt outs I hear you say. That is true but as the Luxembourg Prime Minister has warned 'Countries like Britain, that are always claiming special clauses and using them, that always want to get out of common policies through opt-out clauses, need to know that they will become something like partial members'. In other words whilst you currently have the right to self-determination life can be made very difficult if you exercise that right. It rather puts the famous red lines into perspective. Frankly screaming 'you're not the boss of me' at the EU would have done more to protect Britain's interests and at least been amusing.
I can see why people are drawn to the idea of the EU, indeed there is much to recommend it and let's not forget it was dreamt up by people who seen Europe torn apart by war but there is nothing in this gigantic fraud for any decent person to aspire to. It might suit big business and it does suit bureaucrats and greedy politicians but for the rest of us it is a menace and a colossal waste of money.
Cheerio
* I have just discovered that I work with someone who spells 'what' 'wot'. That is only the tip of the iceberg.
10/13/2007
The Open Thread
Hello,
The Open Thread is up over at Pickled Politics -drop in and say hello if you get a moment.
Cheers
The Open Thread is up over at Pickled Politics -drop in and say hello if you get a moment.
Cheers
9/15/2007
3/03/2007
News
Hello,
Those of you bored silly of my war with Terry Kelly will be happy to hear that future updates will be no more than a small link which will take you to a new Terrywatch dedicated blog.
Do drop in, it's all good stuff so far.
As I mentioned previously I'll be doing the Britblog round up on the 25th March, tomorrow your host is my fellow Terrywatcher Mr Eugenides .
I've just posted up the open thread over at Pickled Politics, where I'm sure you'll all be made very welcome.
Cheerio
Those of you bored silly of my war with Terry Kelly will be happy to hear that future updates will be no more than a small link which will take you to a new Terrywatch dedicated blog.
Do drop in, it's all good stuff so far.
As I mentioned previously I'll be doing the Britblog round up on the 25th March, tomorrow your host is my fellow Terrywatcher Mr Eugenides .
I've just posted up the open thread over at Pickled Politics, where I'm sure you'll all be made very welcome.
Cheerio
2/28/2007
Oh My Box Is So Exciting
Hello,
and now that your big eyes are finally open, let me share the highlights of my inbox. Firstly I had an e-mail from this fellow, who has now been added to my sidebar. Do drop in, he really is very good.
Then I had a very surprising email from someone who is moderately famous to readers of broadsheets about some other people in the same line of work being a touch unpleasant about the foreigners. Oh it's like Big Brother for the educated. I'm not allowed to say any more but you might want to keep an eye on Pickled Politics over the next few days.
As if that wasn't exciting enough I got an email about councillors. Lord knows what brought that on. I shall quite from this fine email below
'it has always astounded me just how blatantly Scottish Labour cllrs (esp in Strathclyde) milk the system - lots of allowances for non-existent "responsibilities", and of course the breakfast, dinner, and tea fiddle you mention. There's no way you could get away with this on most councils; it's only because the West of Scotland is such a rotten one-party fiefdom they've managed to keep this scam rolling. Here's to the Augean stables being cleansed come May! '
Do you think he might be referring to this? I rather think he is. That's not all. I was then directed towards this startling news item (more here...) . I wouldn't mind but you never hear Labour voters offering to pay more council tax to fund their representatives lavish lifestyles or mention that Labour have improved things or made them any better off. What's the attraction?
Anyway just for fun I have decided to ask a Labour councillor at least one question about corruption every month between now and the election. Feel free to join me.
Now here's a challenge for you, I'll give £10 to the first person to ask Terry Kelly why he thinks Cllr Richard Manser really had his window put in and get it past comment moderation.
Cheerio
and now that your big eyes are finally open, let me share the highlights of my inbox. Firstly I had an e-mail from this fellow, who has now been added to my sidebar. Do drop in, he really is very good.
Then I had a very surprising email from someone who is moderately famous to readers of broadsheets about some other people in the same line of work being a touch unpleasant about the foreigners. Oh it's like Big Brother for the educated. I'm not allowed to say any more but you might want to keep an eye on Pickled Politics over the next few days.
As if that wasn't exciting enough I got an email about councillors. Lord knows what brought that on. I shall quite from this fine email below
'it has always astounded me just how blatantly Scottish Labour cllrs (esp in Strathclyde) milk the system - lots of allowances for non-existent "responsibilities", and of course the breakfast, dinner, and tea fiddle you mention. There's no way you could get away with this on most councils; it's only because the West of Scotland is such a rotten one-party fiefdom they've managed to keep this scam rolling. Here's to the Augean stables being cleansed come May! '
Do you think he might be referring to this? I rather think he is. That's not all. I was then directed towards this startling news item (more here...) . I wouldn't mind but you never hear Labour voters offering to pay more council tax to fund their representatives lavish lifestyles or mention that Labour have improved things or made them any better off. What's the attraction?
Anyway just for fun I have decided to ask a Labour councillor at least one question about corruption every month between now and the election. Feel free to join me.
Now here's a challenge for you, I'll give £10 to the first person to ask Terry Kelly why he thinks Cllr Richard Manser really had his window put in and get it past comment moderation.
Cheerio
2/03/2007
Something new for your sidebars.....
Hello,
Some of you may know Zin Zin from his frequent comments on Pickled Politics. He has now decided to join the world of blogging proper, so I want all you big bloggers to make him feel very welcome and drop in and say hello.
Cheerio
Some of you may know Zin Zin from his frequent comments on Pickled Politics. He has now decided to join the world of blogging proper, so I want all you big bloggers to make him feel very welcome and drop in and say hello.
Cheerio
1/27/2007
Holocaust Memorial Day
'It’s utterly impossible for me to build my life on a foundation of chaos, suffering and death. I see the world being slowly transformed into a wilderness, I hear the approaching thunder that, one day, will destroy us too, I feel the suffering of millions. And yet, when I look up at the sky, I somehow feel that everything will change for the better, that this cruelty too will end, that peace and tranquillity will return once more. In the meantime I must hold on to my ideals. Perhaps, the day will come when I’ll be able to realise them.'
-Anne Frank
Sunny over at Pickled Politics has just reminded me that it's Holocaust Memorial Day. Please take the time to read his post and the sites linked to below. If I were a more intelligent person I'd say something sensitive, profound and enlightening but I'm not so I shall just spark up a candle and pray it never happens again.
The Holocaust History Project
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)