MPs Expenses

Hello,
In many ways MPs expenses have been worth every penny, I haven't laughed so much in years.
Oh come on a male MP buying tampons, nappies and women's clothes, or some toff scamming repairs to his tennis court and moat cleaning! How exactly does one go about cleaning a moat or more to the point being posh enough to have one? Then of course I remembered I and my other chums the tax payers were footing the bill and that I've still not received the tax rebate I'm due.



Growing up with the standard left wing West of Scotland upbringing I was I suppose natural Labour territory but living in close proximity to the horror of Glasgow City Council put paid to any illusions I may have had about their integrity. Ah yes I remember it well Pat Lally's repellent nephew boasting about being dropped off at school in the provosts limo. All the same I naively thought Labour corruption was a 'Glasgow problem' caused by a sheep like Tory phobic electorate who would rather vote for a rotting corpse in a red rosette than in their own interests.


Similarly I believed the Tory corruption, that became apparent in the last days of the Major government was a result, not of any inherent dishonesty in the Tory party but the inevitable result of being in power too long.


I daresay there is a degree of truth in that. Long running administrations of any stripe are bound to be attractive to opportunists on the make but I think this latest round of expenses scandals reveals something far more rotten and disturbing. No party is spared, not one. These people really are a class apart -who or what on earth gave them the idea that they were entitled to live lives so far removed from the rest of us at our expense? The frightening thing is I think some of them honestly believe that tennis court repairs and the like are essential for them to carry out their jobs, in other words there's no point serving the public or pretending to unless you are allowed to live like a king on the back of it.



Worse than the claims themselves is the 'it was within the rules, it's not me it's the system'. I must suggest that to one of my clients as a possible defence if they happen to spot a loophole in the benefit rules. I'm quite certain that both the DWP and police will be entirely sympathetic. For heaven's sake people refrain from doing all sorts of perfectly legal things because they think it is immoral to do so. If these clowns can't tell the difference between something being legal and being compulsory then can I suggest they find something more suited to their abilities like competitive mouth breathing. You notice that despite being the very folk with the power to reform the system none of them felt so strongly that they raised the matter in parliament with a view to any sort of reform. One can only imagine their howls of outrage at the awful system as they looked at their bank statements and watched the money roll in.



Then there is the flipping scam -no wonder they didn't want to restore any level of sanity to the housing market -the bastards were coining it in! I wonder if any of them as they played their part putting homes out of the reach of key workers and first time buyers ever felt a single seconds guilt. Did those representing less affluent constituencies and reading their post bag containing various tales of housing hell from people better than they'll ever be not reflect for a moment that what they were doing was wrong? Marie Antoinette was beheaded for less.

Being ripped off is bad enough but readers of The Guardian and The Telegraph were treated to that despicable little dirtbag MacShane insulting their intelligence with his assertion that if they don't vote Labour or for one of the big parties then the BNP will get in. In other words you can't risk a protest vote without getting something worse so keep eating shit peasants. Of course if he and his corrupt pals weren't such a bunch of grasping low lifes they might be able to point out a few faults with the BNP but instead they've left themselves in no position to point fingers at anyone. Quite frankly Labour have run a better campaign for the BNP then anything that shower could manage. Still you'd almost think the BNP were the only party standing the way he's carrying on but of course two minutes on google provides you with a world of choice in finding a home for your cheeky protest without your 'racial foreigner' chums thinking you want to send them back. To save you the hassle I will provide a handy list below.

Cheerio

Scotland- Green, SNP, SSP, NO2EU, Socialist Labour Party, Christian Party Christian Peoples Alliance, Jury Team, UKIP and Duncan Robertson (Independent).

Northern Ireland -No candidates from any of the big three your choices are here.

Wales- Green, Plaid Cymru, NO2EU, Jury Team, UKIP, Christian Party Christian Peoples Alliance and Socialist Labour Party.

England (By Region)

North East - Green, NO2EU, Jury Team, UKIP, English Democrats, Christian Party Christian Peoples Alliance, Socialist Labour Party and Libertas.

Yorkshire and the Humber - See above

West Midlands -See above

East Midlands -See above

North West -As previous but with a lone independent Francis Apaloo

East of England- As previous but the independent candidate is Peter Rigby and Animals Count are also standing.

South West- As previous but Mebyon Kernow, Pensioners Party and Your Decision are also standing.

South East- As previous but The Peace Party and The Roman Party are standing.

London- As previous but with Gene Alcatara, Steven Cheung, Jan Jananayagam, Sohale Rahman and Haroon Saad standing as independents and Yes to Europe also standing.

Last Chance To Save Paddy's Market

Hello,
Despite the efforts of the SNP and the Greens on Glasgow City Council the loathsome Labour group have succeeded in getting their filthy, corrupt mitts on Paddy's Market. This doesn't automatically mean the end but it does mean it's more vital than ever to get onto your councillor and tell them you support the traders -you can get their details here.

Make no mistake this decision by the council has nothing to do with crime and everything to do with the phoney yuppiefication that the city neither wants nor needs. You might not like Paddy's but enough people do to support numerous viable businesses. If they win this it will be The Barras next and then we'll be the only city on the face of the earth without markets but one of many with faceless boring high streets and naff shopping centres.

The Labour council has been the worst enemy this city ever had. They are nothing but unimaginative, small minded, dishonest, bloated thieves and bullies. It's high time the people reminded them who is in charge.

Oh don't forget to sign the petition!

Cheerio

P.S This is rather good!

Laughing All The Way To The Bank At Glasgow!

Hello,
It almost seems to good to be true but could the Labour reign of corruption in Scotland finally be drawing to a close? I don't want to get too cocky as I'm still not convinced they'll lose Glasgow East -although I'm pretty certain their majority will be drastically reduced.

Anyway today's papers have come up with a carnival of Labour crooks and buffoons for the despair and amusement of the masses.

First up we have Glasgow councillor George Ryan who should really have stuck to hanging about amusement arcades squandering his own money rather than lolling about the city chambers pissing ours away. Anyway Mr Ryan has rather unexpectedly pulled out of the running for David Marshall's old seat which naturally begs the question why. There are it would appear two answers. The first is that a paper were intending to dig up an old story about housing benefit fraud, though as he was cleared of the charges I fail to see why that would cause him to pull out. The second regards allegations of being less than honest about council plans to destroy Paddys Market. Mr Ryan and ten of his Labour chums have all been reported to The Standards Commission, including I'm delighted to report my loathsome and useless local councillor Gordon Matheson.

Whatever the truth of the matter his decision does appear somewhat sudden. This Friday in work we got the news that council spending reforms in which the East End and I quote would be 'the big loser' were to be put on hold until next year. Presumably the council thought that Mr Ryan's enthusiastic support for spending cuts in his constituency wouldn't go down to well with the electorate and now he's gone and pulled out.

It also appears that David Marshall's rather convenient bout of ill health may have been brought on by questions over the £500,000 he's trousered in expenses over the last six years to pay for his wife to work from his office at home. Let's remember this man represents the poorest area in the whole of the UK. Truly the poor are a goldmine.

Finally we have the news that my nemesis Margaret 'Fourth Choice' Curran has been selected as the Labour candidate. I must say I'm at a loss as to why anyone is concerned about how she'll handle being an MP and an MSP at the same time. Doing bugger all for her constituents in two jobs can't be any harder than doing it one.

If all this looks like contempt for the people they represent that's because it is.

Cheerio

Labour Loses It's Top Donor

Hello,
The Labour sleaze row rumbles on, much to my intense personal amusement. Obviously it isn't really at all funny but bloody depressing. Whilst I do enjoy a good moan at the state of Scotland, it isn't the worst place on earth (that title goes to San Tropez) but it could be so much better. If these bloated, uncaring parasites put as much effort into running the country as they do into indulging their insatiable appetite for personal gain we'd be the merest baw hair off utopia.

To return to the point Mr Willie Haughey has announced that he won't be making any more donations to the Labour party until they clean up their act on the donations front. Some of you may recall Mr Haughey from a few years back;

'April 2005 - Revealed that Jack McConnell met with Labour donor Willie Haughey to discuss compensation on a land deal where the M74 would pass through Haughey's property. Initial compensation of £7.4 million rose to £16.5 million'


'June 2004 - Willie Haughey, who has donated hundreds of thousands of pounds to the Labour party, appointed to the post of chairman of Scottish Enterprise Glasgow.'

My knowledge of oor Wullie comes from a former employee of his who was puzzled by his habit of conducting meetings in the car park when he had a perfectly good office indoors. More curious still a few of the meetings concluded with the handover of large padded envelopes. Obviously the very idea that a Glasgow businessman with strong links to the Labour party was up to anything dodgy is as unthinkable as it is absurd. There must be a reasonable explanation but as to what it might be I cannot imagine.

Cheerio