8/10/2009

It Was A One In A Million Chance!

Hello,
I see that some fellow is in a spot of bother after his cat downloaded some child porn. That really is the modern equivalent of doing the housework nude and accidentially getting your penis stuck in the hoover.

I can't help but notice that men seem to be disproportionately affected by these somewhat unfortunate one in a million chance accidents, incidents and misunderstandings. Has any research been undertaken as to why men should be so afflicted?

I am led to believe that members of the chap community are somewhat narked with Harriet Harman at the moment. Perhaps by way of an olive branch Miss Harman in her role as equalities minister could commission some research into this to make the chaps feel cared for again. Or better still a full public inquiry to let the victims of misandrist cat pranks, potatoes, siren bikes , tables , sheep , goats , horses, shoe horns, household appliances, wetsuits, electrodes, tractors, lamp posts and cars have their voices heard in a safe and non-judgemental environment.

Now I know these things cost money and the economy, taxes, hard working familes , blah etc but I cannot help but think the time is right for the UK to lead the world in getting to the bottom of these strange incidents.

4 comments:

Ewen Nicolson said...

Can't a man show his love for a picnic table in peace and quiet?

transfattyacid said...

My favourite of these stories was told to me by a friend who was a nurse.

A chap turned up at A&E with a broomstick up his backside. He had a cunning disguise to his predicament - a long mac.

Oh and he had travelled to the hospital by bus.

Yeah, you guessed it, he was apparently doing some nude decorating and had fallen off a ladder.

iLL Man said...

There must be a Nude Decorators society out there somewhere.....

Clairwil said...

Ewen,
Of course he can but I am of the mind the front porch isn't the best place to do so.

transfattyacid,
That's a belter. It reminds me of a great one I heard about a chap who'd got his penis stuck in a keyring. Apparently he'd been opening the front door and had to pee rather urgently. So he gets the door opened, whilst undoing his fly, tripped and in the ensuing fall somehow got his penis lodged in the keyring.

The illman,
Oh now the government banned that on health and safety grounds and with good reason it seems.