Ma and Pa recently purchased some DNA tests in the vain hope of finding some explanation for how we all came to be here. I didn't get a chance to go through the results with a fine toothed comb but here's the terrible truth from my initial glance.
On Pa's side the paternal line is a 50-50 split between Celtic and Norse Viking, the maternal line can be traced back to Dordogne about 20,000 years or so ago and hit the UK around 12,000 years ago. Apparently Marie Antionette came from the same folk which I have decided explains my long standing horror of the French Revolution and love of self-indulgent treats. I have never dyed a sheep to match one of my outfits but I'd be fibbing if I said the idea didn't appeal to me.
The origins of mummy's father are something of a mystery and as there are no surviving male offspring to test will unfortunately remain so. I never laid eyes on the man but mummy reckons he 'looked a bit Jewish' which doesn't really help us much at all. All I can tell you is that he lived under an assumed name his whole life, worked for Rolls Royce and had a cousin with a false nose who ruled a barbers shop.
Happily ma's maternal line presents no such problems. The test reveals that they rolled up in Georgia from the Middle East about 25,000 years ago, ate goats and had awful bother with bears. At some time unspecified they seem to have scattered over Europe, though 1% of Native American share the same mtDNA.
I had hoped for a bit of Persian or Japanese blood but all in all I'm rather tickled by my origins.