Back From My Travels

I'd always been led to understand that the people of London were rude and deeply unpleasant. Having only been there three times I'm not in a position to comment with any certainty but based on my experiences this weekend I can honestly say I haven't met a finer bunch of people in my life. Every time my sense of direction let me down leaving me staring myopically at a tube map someone would appear and put me on the right train. If it wasn't for the chap in Victoria Station I'd still be in London.

If any of you are single and looking for a click I strongly recommend Earls Court tube station. Honestly in the space of about 10 minutes my phone number was requested twice. Why did these things not happen before I met Mr Clairwil? That's the thing with life often you do get what you want -about 10 bloody years too late.

The seminar I was down for was a roaring success and has been very helpful in getting my big project off the ground. Mind you I think I must have been the poorest person in the room which wasn't a problem -real toffs in my limited experience being a pleasant bunch. It's the Hyacinth Buckets that set to to make you feel like scum.

I just felt a bit like the time I was sitting in 'the tories' back garden as a child -like a stranger in a foreign land. Oh come on it wasn't just their politics they were actually playing croquet and drinking 'squash'. They used to play tennis and golf as well. Mind you the croquet was no problem to me -a veteran of the free games for children the council used to lay on at Haggs Castle.

Naturally that's all gone now the council being 'socialists' of the the worst and most vindictive variety decided that a free children's museum in a posh bit of Glasgow offering an opportunity for children of all classes to mix and do something a bit out of the ordinary was a waste of money. Today the museum is a private residence bought for the bargain price of £250,000. I should stress it is an actual castle with a turret and everything -the large cottage beside it which came with the castle alone could have fetched at least £500,000 on the open market, God knows what the going rate for a castle in Glasgow is. The council turned down an attempt by the local community to buy it and keep it going out of spite. Unfortunately the locals had the temerity to not to vote Labour and worse elect a Tory. Lord knows why for she is the most useless tory ever to draw breath and she was rude to my mother which is my job.

Still I've rather strayed from the point here haven't I but you've all learned something which is the main thing. Right I'm off to drench my aching muscles in Arnica oil -too much exercise is a terrible thing!



iLL Man said...

I never knew about the Haggs Castle thing.... If my memory serves me right, you can play croquet in Kelvingrove Park.

Never mind, theres 'Go Ape' in Pollok Park for the kids to look forward to now, eh?

Just what the place needs, eh? a glorified adventure playground at 25 quid a pop.

Clairwil said...

Sadly the children won't be able to look forward to 'Go Ape' given that I fully intend to cut the wires and trash it until it becomes too unprofitable to continue. Anyone who wants to join me should send me an email. Sorry but I'm fucking sick off seeing my old stamping ground trashed by council half wits. It's about time their was a revolution in this city.

iLL Man said...

The old sabotage route, whilst satisfying, would be a bit of an own goal I think. Still, they haven't got the green light yet...... I'm going to start punting this one on my blog, try and get people to sign the petition (for what it might be worth, it's a bit late...), maybe see about getting involved in some way. Reading up on it was profoundly depressing. Arrogant, shit thick councillors, people who hate the notion that there is this wonderful expanse of countryside slap bang in the middle of our city and it's not being used to turn a few bob. Utter, utter clowns, to a man and woman.


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