Happy News and Help Wanted

I have some happy news! I have a new job, only part-time but I'll be working from home! Living the dream! I had to audition and everything. Can Oscar glory be far off? Anyway my job will entail speaking to chaps about matters of an adult nature which presents me with something of a dilemma. I have to choose a category in which to appear and choose a hair colour.

Should I go for 18-25, 40+, blonde, brunette or ginger. Oh and I need a name as well. I've always wanted to be called Bernadette or Stella but I'm not sure they sound particularly 'racy'. At the same time I don't want to be called anything too 'porn star' because I'd feel like a total fool and the punters would smell a rat.

I've ruled out doing the shouting at men line because my voice is too soft to sound truly threatening. Plus I'm a terrible giggler so I think I'll do best to keep it light. So that leaves me with 'chat', dogging, anal sex, oral sex, feet, 'watersports' and 'other'. What on earth 'other' entails is a mystery, so I'm a bit wary. I don't think anyone wants to be calling up to hear me bellowing 'you want to what?, Good God sir, are you quite well?'

Suggestions please.


Anonymous said...

So those adverts for chat lines that are on late night telly thats your new job?!!! I know those adds with the models pouting and posing are bull, but you are the reality?

Knock one out to Clairwil talking dirty. Cost 1.50 per minute. Bargain.

Those teenage masturbaters are lucky to have you. As are the dirty old men.

Clairwil said...

Cheers, I must admit everytime I see one of those ad's I fall about laughing. I haven't started yet I need to record my personal message with which to entice the callers, hence why I need to make up a fake name and description.

Kav said...

Ell oh ell. Best of luck with it C. If you're looking for names, you can't go wrong with The Simpsons - how about Busty St. Clair (quite apt), or Chesty LaRue?

Anonymous said...

How about Suki Cocks?

Clairwil said...

I'm not allowed an obviously porn star name. I'm thinking of Heather or Mae.

I've been listening in to some of the other ladies. Good God! What lives some people lead. Do you know until this evening it had never occured to me to put a roll on deodorant up my arse.

Anonymous said...

Do you know until this evening it had never occured to me to put a roll on deodorant up my arse.

Give me your number thats well worth 1.50 per minute and your giving it away for free.

Clairwil said...

It's all decided. I'm called Elise, I'm 25, 36c, curvy, raven haired and 'curious'.

The chaps seem happy!

Tom Tyler said...

Eeeek! I've never called one of those lines, I don't see the turn-on when you know the other person is just acting and it's not "real", that takes all the eroticism out of it.
I'd call and ask for "Elise" just to have a nice chat though.
One thing - you'll be listening to loads of horny men who will be viewing you (your voice, that is) as nothing more than a sex object, a masturbatory aid. Please don't let yourself develop an attitude of despising all men, due to this. We're not all base creatures, sexually. Well....no, in one way we are, but in another way...uch, too complicated to explain.

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