I have some happy news! I have a new job, only part-time but I'll be working from home! Living the dream! I had to audition and everything. Can Oscar glory be far off? Anyway my job will entail speaking to chaps about matters of an adult nature which presents me with something of a dilemma. I have to choose a category in which to appear and choose a hair colour.
Should I go for 18-25, 40+, blonde, brunette or ginger. Oh and I need a name as well. I've always wanted to be called Bernadette or Stella but I'm not sure they sound particularly 'racy'. At the same time I don't want to be called anything too 'porn star' because I'd feel like a total fool and the punters would smell a rat.
I've ruled out doing the shouting at men line because my voice is too soft to sound truly threatening. Plus I'm a terrible giggler so I think I'll do best to keep it light. So that leaves me with 'chat', dogging, anal sex, oral sex, feet, 'watersports' and 'other'. What on earth 'other' entails is a mystery, so I'm a bit wary. I don't think anyone wants to be calling up to hear me bellowing 'you want to what?, Good God sir, are you quite well?'