Sleeping In and Daydreaming


Before I start I'd like to draw everyone's attention to one of the links recommended by Don in the comments bit of the last post. As Don correctly points out it is a joy.

Today was the day I planned to 'get everything done' I was even going to hoover. Instead I was woken up at 10am by a passing Orange walk. I do wish they'd do something about the rag bag of cretins that follow these things about. They make the whole thing look scruffy and scary when it needn't. Look at the smart West African Orangemen on parade. The whole business could be vastly improved if pissed up soap dodging Rangers fans would stop swaggering along beside the walks.

Anyway after that startling alarm call, I thought I'd have a short snooze before getting up. I then woke up at three o'clock. I'm not going to get anything done at all today am I? Instead I'll sit here looking at blogs, then panic when I realise it's midnight and I've done nothing.

I'm a little peeved today because I can't find the wire that connects my digital camera to my computer which means I can't add any of my fine pictures to my blog. It's very upsetting. Can one buy a spare wire? Or am I doomed? Royal Mail have upset me by failing to turn up with the post today. The thought of all those poor postcard manifestos sitting in that vile sorting office is most distressing. If only the post were as slow in sending me bills.

I am of the opinion that I shouldn't have to pay for anything at all ever. I did think of setting up some sort of a charity to 'keep me' but apparently that's against the rules. Heat magazine is full of people who earn fortunes for doing nothing. At least I can do the odd joke. Perhaps I should get some leaflets printed up telling people what their donations can buy. For example just £5 can buy Clairwil twenty fags, as little as three pounds can buy Clairwil a bottle of Tesco Chilean Merlot. People do like to know where their money is going. Perhaps this Christmas instead of buying boring old goats and wells for the worlds poor a food hamper for Clairwil will be the ethical gift for the conscientious shopper.

In the event that the public continue in their stubborn refusal to sponsor me I have a plan B in my money for nothing quest. I have decided to join the media. I have written to the BBC outlining my positive attributes and hope to hear from them soon. Just think The Clairwil Show could be a reality.........

UPDATE- Oh my God! I haven't been this excited since Sunny said nice things about me on Comment Is Free! The Postcard Manifestos are in THE TIMES!!! not the Evening times. The actual Times you know the big right wing paper! God bless Rhys Blakely! Do you think I should let the BBC know that I am the subject of a minor media frenzy? Oh I can feel those four million pound golden handcuffs closing round my little white wrists. Better still it's not all me me me Billy and Mr Flesh Hammer are both quoted. Well done boys!



Billy said...


Well done for getting in the Times. Fame for the postcard manifestos cannot be far away. :)

ill man said...

Nice one. Mr Flesh-Hammer will be tickled pink.

Clairwil said...

Hurrah! I'm wildly excited. I think I might try and get on the telly next.

David Duff said...

Your complaints concerning the Orangemen reminded me of a part I once played in a truly brilliant play by Ron Hutchinson, "Rat in the Skull". Here is the disillusioned Insp. Nelson R.U.C. describing an Orange march (best delivered with a strong Ian Paiseley accent!):

"All those skulls in bowlers, marching. With mad eyes and pinched-together bums. To the music that says we're pissing in the gale of history, and while you're at it, here's a fart for common-sense, here's a fart for the inevitable. We're living proof, in this corner of the North, that reason's nothing much to do with life. And we're swinging down the road defying you to prove us wrong. Here we are and here we stay. Despite. Even so. For all that. Big drum beating, colours flying, roaring out defiance".

With the exception of Falstaff in Henry IV Part II, my favourite role. Hutchinson is, I believe, one of the most under-rated playwrights around today.

Clairwil said...

I'm not familiar with that play but a quick google search leads me to understand it's powerful, intense stuff. I shall seek that play out.

On a slightly different note I'm actually quite fond of the Orangemen and women. It's just certain bands and the swaggering thugs that follow them that depress me.

ill man said...

Clairwil, regarding the USB lead, I'm not 100% sure what the score is. Not sure if each model has it's own individual lead or if a generic one can be bought to fit any digital camera. I'd try Dixons/Comet/Maplin, or maybe Jessops.

Clairwil said...

Neither am I Ill man. I think I'll just take my camera down to Jessops and hope for the best.

David Duff said...

Clairwil, further to "Rat in the Skull", some years back I came home mid-afternoon and whilst making myself a cup of tea I switched on Radio 4 and caught the afternoon play. It was obviously Irish and I would have switched it off instantly but I was juggling with boiling kettles and cups so I left it. As I finished the tea-making I was gradually drawn into the dialogue which was so powerful and poetic that the tea was left to go cold - and then the bloody telephone went off and so I never heard above 2 or 3 minutes of it.

About two years later a then unknown play, "Rat in the Skull", was put forward at my theatre group. It was about the 'Troubles' and I just wondered if it was the same one. I bought the script and in just reading the opening lines delivered by Roche, an IRA bomber banged up in London, I instantly knew it was the one:

"The holiday snaps.
Dear Mum, this is me in the Big Smoke. I've seen all the sights, the Tower, the zoo, MacDonalds, the big red buses and the bottom sides of coppers' boots from the wrong way up. They showed me the doings. I was sat on my hunkers, somewhere north of the Northern Line, minding my own business, wondering whether to pick my nose or go for a slash, and a sledgehammer comes through the door, without so much as a by your leave. Followed in short order by half a dozen of the larger size of cop, waving guns and shouting hello. One of them shakes me by the balls and throws me across the room before I've a chance to say I didn't catch the name ..."

And so on. Irresistible, especially for actors! The play takes no sides, merely demonstrating the entrenched prejudices of both Irish sides and the incomprehension of the English. Not everyone finds it easy to read play scripts but if you can, buy it and enjoy; if not, don't ever miss a chance to see it if it should play anywhere near you.

Or any other play by Ron Hutchinson!

Clairwil said...

I quite like a read at a plat script but for the most part you can't beat the full performance well acted. I certainly will keep my eyes peeled for a performance of Rat in the Skull within travelling distance. Northern Ireland is just begging to be done well, particularly from a neutral point of view.

Anonymous said...

香港女星寫真,a片分享,美女色情裸體,台灣kiss情色貼圖,美腿圖,正妹,日本情色網,情色卡通下載,免費下載的做愛照片,線上a片免費看,tube影片,情色成人,ro 私服論壇,色情網,aaa片免費看短片分享區,日本人妻熟女自拍貼圖,蕃薯論壇,台灣網友自拍貼照,嘟嘟成人網,狂插漂亮美眉,8591論壇,女同志聊天室,人妻俱樂部網站,背包客棧論壇,成人性感內衣,看美女脫光光,黑澀會美眉無名,色咪咪貼影片,無碼a片,aa片免費看,免費線上觀看a片,做愛的圖片,色情漫畫,性感卡通美女圖片,香港a片,自拍,情色圖書館,plus 28 論壇,1007視訊,熟女自拍照,苗栗人聊天室,黑澀會美眉即時通,jp成人,色情,aaaaa片俱樂部,情侶歡愉用品,

okav成人影院,網友裸體自拍,交友ukiss,娘家影片,a片免費,黑澀會美眉即時通,人妻性交俱樂部,聊天室尋夢園,18禁,情色性感美女圖片,美女短片免費試看,3級女星寫真,情色短片論壇,摯愛中年聊天室,美腿貼圖,影音聊天,聊天室找一夜,g世代論壇,免費線上影片,淫蕩少女,火辣美眉自拍寫真貼圖,內衣寫真秀,美少女自拍,aa片免費看影片,麗的情色,gogo2sex,aooyy 成人玩具,台灣成人網,素人自拍,

Anonymous said...

sogo情色網,小魔女免費影片,9k躺伯虎聊天室,只有貼圖區,網路美女,a片小遊戲,比基尼辣妹影片,視訊交友90739,免費色情影片,星光情色討論版,18禁地戀愛遊戲,廁所偷拍,18禁,台灣kiss情色文學,線上看,飯島愛影片觀看,免費線上影片,美腿論壇,聊天室找一夜,情色自拍,影音日誌,自拍片,寫真女郎攝影網,網愛聊天室,情色文學網,av女優dvd,dudu 嘟嘟貼圖區,比基尼辣妹影片,視訊聊天室,自拍照片,成人論壇,模特兒寫真,a片dvd,情色偷拍,美女遊戲,666 貼圖區,成人短片,線上觀看a片,免費a片線上看,080 聊天室,情色交友,女生自衛影片,男男貼圖區,免費線上觀看a片,模特兒,家庭教師影片,情色貼片,美女貼圖片區,免費aa片試看,成人貼圖區,網際論壇,

線上直播a片,免費a圖a片,080 聊天室,av視訊,情色交友,模特兒,自拍影片,真實自拍,嘟嘟情色,視訊,免費視訊聊天室,壞朋友論壇fliendo,成人a片,美女交友,383v live實境影音秀,嘟嘟貼圖,花王自拍,飯島愛寫真集,微風寫真網,忘年之交聊天室,爽翻天成人用品,正妹百人斬,383影音live秀,美女做愛,天天情色,免費視訊聊天室,vlog電眼美女,聊天室080,情色貼片,無碼女優,showlive影音聊天網,日本女優,都都成人站,視訊會議,080 苗栗人聊天室,洪爺情色網,北部人聊天室,一葉晴貼圖區,色遊戲,同志影片,aaaa片俱樂部,免費影片線上直播,ut男同志聊天室,貼影片,免費a片下載,歐美模特兒寫真,百分百成人圖片,ut 女同聊天室,夫妻自拍,