8/17/2006

Clairwils Book Club

Hello,
If Richard and Judy can have a book club I don't see why I can't. No laughing at at the back, this weeks recommended read is the book The Bible or to more precise The King James version- accept no substitute. It's been some time since I had a squint at the Bible but I've been unable to put it down all week which means no-one sits beside me on public transport.

I should point out that I haven't got religion or found God. I don't believe a word of the good book. It's just that I've only just realised what a cracking read it is. I must stress again that only the King James Version will do. The language is beautiful, bloody and brilliant.

I blame schools for the Bible being overlooked as a good read. First of all they palm you off with a sappy 'Good News' Bible. 'Good News' hahaha! someone gets offed every second page! Then they ignore some of the best stuff in it. For example have a peep at my current favourite The Book Of Esther. It's a deranged masterpiece born in the mind of a serial killer. The King is utterly bonkers which in my mind is how a king should be. He kicks his wife out for refusing to 'do a twirl', acquires Esther as a replacement then lets people run around issuing orders in his name to massacre first the Jews then the enemies of the Jews. Honestly I think it's the maddest thing I've ever read.

The Book of Job is just jaw dropping. I have to say God is the star of the show in this one. Poor Job undergoes awful torture because God and Satan had a bet. Take a moment to absorb this. God allows a perfectly pleasant God fearing chap, his biggest fan and all round good egg to suffer agonies for a bet. If you haven't read it please do. It's easily as funny as Justine by the Marquis de Sade and about ten times as cruel.

Leviticus is a sort of Good Housekeeping BC. If there is an afterlife I think Kim and Aggie will be fine.

The Books of Samuel 1 and 2 are gripping stuff. I can't help but feel all that Goliath business turned young David's head. He appears to have grown up and become a heartless monster. Chilling but he gets his comeuppance in the end.

I could go on and on the Old Testament in particular is a treasure it has everything sex, murder, plague, rape, incest and the many (mad) moods of The Lord. It groans with action, is crowded with incident. Arguably the best read in the world.

Cheerio

6 comments:

iLL Man said...

As something of a Godless sod, I have never read the Bible in any great depth. I have however decided to peruse the online bible you linked to. I have to admit, the trials of Job intrigued me but Genesis is where I shall start. Until I get annoyed with the whole thing and I stomp off in an atheist strop........

Anonymous said...

For a summary of the highlights, try this;

http://www.butterfliesandwheels.com/articleprint.php?num=189

And this is a joy forever;

http://www.thebricktestament.com/

Billy said...

I have to agree. KJV is excellent language, a pleasure to read, if somewhat disturbing. (all that incest and God being a bit, well, mental. He does calm down a bit in the New Testament)

Of course you're missing something not reading it in the original Aramiac. Probably.

Clairwil said...

Ill Man
That's because the Bible is vastly underrated as literature and possibly because our parents generation threw the baby out with the bathwater in their rejection of organised religion. Treat it like a work of fiction and you won't get annoyed. It's a beautiful, dark epic.

don

Thanks for the links I shall view them in due course.


Billy

Yes Billy it is quite disturbing. It's the Rid Of Me era PJ Harvey of holy books. A jealous, vengeful, irresponsible God treating the world like a chessboard. Now that's a hell of a plot. You're probably spot on with the language thing but I just don't have the time to learn Aramaic and I think I'd faint if I read anything better than the King James.

Billy said...

"It's the Rid Of Me era PJ Harvey of holy books"

Whar a brilliant comparison. I'm off to compare them now.

Clairwil said...

OOOH watch out Billy. You may open a portal to hell.