8/22/2006

Pranks And Problems

Hello,
Let's get the funny stuff out the way. As you may be aware Tony and the tools have introduced some daft law or another about protesting around parliament. That makes my blood boil. They sit in there earning a fortune and provoking people, then have the effrontery to make the angry mob take their revenge on the public instead. Sadly it's too short notice for me to be there but if any of you are in London and wish to noise Tony right up. Go here and follow the instructions.

I'm available as an agony aunt until further notice. I'm snowed under with books and homework for a wee while yet and have no time to do proper posts.

Cheerio

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sorry, I haven't the time to go into the ins and outs of this particular controversy but suffice to say that if the deeply confused, emotionally-hyped and ridiculous 'Rachel from North London' has anything to do with it - don't go!

Snotty McShot said...

Right so, Abe. I get it.

So a person who was actually caught up in a real-life terrorist incident is "emotionally-hyped and ridiculous", yeah? (Especially if female, I suspect - so damned emotional, the womenfolk.) Well okay, let's give you that for the time-being.

My question then: if that's the case, how are we to describe a gin-pickled old arsehole who merely saw 9/11 on teevee and who pisses in his rubber pants whenever some scary big beard from Al-Qaeda says boo?

Dr Maroon said...

Dear Clairwil,
I have a terrible problem. Don't know where to start. O.K. I'm goany go for broke.
I am a grandmaster of the orange order, don't ask where that's not important, the thing is, we've asked the West African Branch to lead next year’s parade in Belfast and Glasgow, which is where am from, oh shite! Anyways, it was all meant ‘as hands across the water’ and so on, but we’d never seen a picture of them. Imagine my surprise when you published said photo. I never realised they were all, em, so tall. What am a goany do? They’ve wrote back accepting the offer.
Worried,
Brigton Cross.

ps who's your publisher? Was it on the net or did you seek them out and pester them with your work? Good luck either way. I’ll buy a copy. You can’t say fairer than that.

Clairwil said...

Now come on Grandmaster Sir,
There's nothing wrong with being 'tall' and Orange. You have lots of 'tall' brothers and sisters. I'm sure it'll be a great success. The 'tall' members are amongst the most committed and besides the 'tall' ladies carry off their outfits very well.
http://www.ulster-scots.co.uk/docs/orange/originstogo.htm

http://pub7.bravenet.com/photocenter/album.php?usernum=599677282&album=5194

As for the book. I'm afraid it's only self publishing but as I say at no upfront cost. I'm using the prospect of a book as an incentive to write no matter how busy I get. The technical aspects are worrying me a bit but otherwise it's not a bad deal.

http://www.lulu.com/uk

Dr Maroon said...

Thanks for your speedy reply and apologies for my slow thanks.
That site is dead interesting (I’ve ordered a book from it about a test pilot).
When you get yours up and running , be sure to shout. If you want, I’ll put an advert or flashing banner or something on Cape to Rio.
Thanks again.

ps I think the West African branch should march through the city. It would give all us papes something to think about.

Clairwil said...

Ha Ha! Yes I think the West African Orangemen would certainly make an impact.

The self publishing site is really good and from my further investigation not as complicated as it looks provided you don't mind using standard fonts. I'll certainly give you a shout when I'm ready to publish. Thanks in advance for your help. You should really think about gathering your writing together for publishing as it's excellent motivation.