5/21/2006

Clairwil Saves The World!

Hello,
Here I am one foot on the monitor pretending to be Bono. Why you might ask? Well I shall tell you. I have a plan, a plan to help Africa just like our Mr Bono. Unlike some of you cynics out there I do not doubt the sincerity of anyone involved in this Red business. I think it's about time all you trendy, lefty anti-capitalist types stopped posturing and start helping.

Yes I am about to launch my very own campaign. The genius of this is that I don't need to spend much on publicity as all those nice people at Amex have done it for me. Anyway here is my plan. Firstly I'd like to encourage as many of you as possible to obtain the Amex Red credit card. Once you have received the card donate right up to the credit limit to any reputable charity operating in Africa. Obtain a receipt and then that's it. Of course knowing what beasts these credit card companies are they'll probably come over all unnecessary and start looking for payment. Do not be frightened by this. Simply write a firm but polite letter to Amex, enclosing the receipt for your donation and explain that you know they are committed to fighting AIDS and poverty in Africa and that you have made a donation on their behalf to a worthwhile cause. If they threaten to take you to court, let them and take along as many media types as you can get interested to watch the fun.

Similarly feel free to wander into Gap and lift what you like from the Red range to send to Africa. These companies are committed to fighting poverty so provided you only nick the stuff they've set aside for AIDS and poverty relief, I can't see them getting too upset about it.

Go on you've nothing to lose but your credit rating!

Cheerio

5 comments:

Billy said...

What a brilliant ideas!

But aren't they only donating 1% of the money they make to the charity? That surely means you can only go to 1% of your credit rating and steal 1% of the stuff in the gap.

Worth a try. I don't think they'd accept me for one of their cards though. My credit rating is already rather dire.

Clairwil said...

No Billy, the beauty of my my plan is that you spend say £2000 making the donation they donate 1% of this but end up looking dead stingy if they make you repay the £2000 you've kindly redirected on their behalf. It's a bit of a Robin Hood plan really.

west coaster said...

This is more like the inconsequential shite you usually produce. Keep it up.

Clairwil said...

Westcoaster,
You are a provocative little minx and if I ever track you down I warn you that you're not too old to over my knee.

butteray said...

clairwil, your plan with the RED Amex card is brilliant; it sounds very plausible and I'd love to see it take off; would this really work? But as you suggest, if you bank 2000 or so to charity, Amex cannot really ask for payment, not without looking like mean business types.