Here I am one foot on the monitor pretending to be Bono. Why you might ask? Well I shall tell you. I have a plan, a plan to help Africa just like our Mr Bono. Unlike some of you cynics out there I do not doubt the sincerity of anyone involved in this Red business. I think it's about time all you trendy, lefty anti-capitalist types stopped posturing and start helping.
Yes I am about to launch my very own campaign. The genius of this is that I don't need to spend much on publicity as all those nice people at Amex have done it for me. Anyway here is my plan. Firstly I'd like to encourage as many of you as possible to obtain the Amex Red credit card. Once you have received the card donate right up to the credit limit to any reputable charity operating in Africa. Obtain a receipt and then that's it. Of course knowing what beasts these credit card companies are they'll probably come over all unnecessary and start looking for payment. Do not be frightened by this. Simply write a firm but polite letter to Amex, enclosing the receipt for your donation and explain that you know they are committed to fighting AIDS and poverty in Africa and that you have made a donation on their behalf to a worthwhile cause. If they threaten to take you to court, let them and take along as many media types as you can get interested to watch the fun.
Similarly feel free to wander into Gap and lift what you like from the Red range to send to Africa. These companies are committed to fighting poverty so provided you only nick the stuff they've set aside for AIDS and poverty relief, I can't see them getting too upset about it.
Go on you've nothing to lose but your credit rating!