4/04/2006

Thieves.



Hello,

I was reading in today's Guardian that £150 million worth of books are pinched from UK libraries every year. Sometimes I'm glad I have no time to blog in work because I was demanding the return of the death penalty when I read about this over lunch. By late
afternoon I had mellowed slightly and was down to the return of flogging.

I have pondered the matter further and would now settle for a short custodial sentence or tagging. That is except for anyone who steals my books -they should die. No-one has stolen any of my books for a while mainly because I have stopped lending them to people. I don't know why but with a few exceptions people seem to think 'borrow' and keep mean the same thing when it comes to books. The most, otherwise respectable people see nothing wrong in 'borrowing' a book then keeping it. It's hardly surprising this behaviour has infected our public libraries which now I think on it also contain MY books given that I am a tax payer.

I remember lending a book to a spinster of impeccable character, or so I thought, some years ago. After three months of 'forgetting' to bring it into work she confessed she'd lent it to her sister who'd thought it was 'crap' and left it by a pool in Turkey. I have never been so furious in my life! Her sister only had one eye so naturally she'd only enjoy the book half as much as I did but that in no way justifies leaving it by a pool in Turkey. No-one asked me if my book could leave the country. She's bloody lucky I didn't poke her other eye out. The spinster and the cyclops offered to buy me another one but I didn't believe them. I was right, I'm still waiting. Even though I immediately went out and bought another one I still bear a grudge.
What sort of person deliberately leaves someone else's book in Turkey by a pool?

I have not lent many books since then. Even as we speak one of my collection is astray though I have several of that persons books in my possession as 'security'. These are the very lessons bitter experience teaches us.

The question that faces us now is how to stamp this out in the public libraries. We could arm librarians as a deterrent or name and shame everyone who pinches a Stephen King. Maybe it could be dealt with more informally and a couple of the bigger librarians could rough up a few thieves. A good beating from a handy librarian ought to nip a few budding criminal careers in the bud.

Cheerio

15 comments:

Steve said...

I know exactly what you mean. I lent a my copy of "The Dice Man" to a friend a while ago and it came back with what appeared to be a vomit stain over the first few pages! He claims he doesn't know how it got there but I was still mad!

He's offered to buy me another copy, but like you, I'm still waiting . . .

Clairwil said...

I don't know what's worse never seeing your book again or getting it back covered in stains. I'm afraid I'm not optimistic about your chances of a replacement. I've been profiling this type of criminal for about ten years now. They are monsters without conscience. In the unlikely event he even buys the book he'll think to himself 'o Steve's not mentioned it for a while and it is such a good book, I think I'll keep it'. Don't let him get away with it.

ill man said...

I think if it came to pass that I had borrowed a book and proceeded to vomit over it (or to allow another to vomit over it) the very first thing i'd do is go out and buy a replacement. The embarrassment would simply be too much to bear otherwise.

Nicking Library books is a low cunt of a thing to do. Yes, even Stephen King novels..........

Billy said...

I lent my friend a copy of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. He had it for a year and kept forgetting to give it back.

Until... we met up and he presented me with the book at last. We then got rather drunk. In an attempt to prevent myself falling asleep on the tube on the way home I took the book out, intending to read it. Next thing I remember I'd missed my stop, got up with a start and left the book on the train. Very, very annoying. Never got it back.

Pam said...

Getting a beating at the hands of a librarian ? If it was a librarian dyke, I'd be lining up to steal some books ! Oops, perhaps that's too much information. Oh well.

alan said...

I lent a very attractive Spanish girl a book once, in the vain hope she would return it to me personally after she'd read it. In fact she proceeded to run away with a philandering artist from Portsmouth or some equally god-forsaken place. If you're reading this please bring it back, it's still not too late.

Sir Stewart Wallace said...

I love my books as I love my son.
The retribution meted out upon anyone unwise enough to keep either from me would be terrible to behold.
On a similar topic, whats your opinion on those that break paperback books' spines in order to fold the cover back?

Aine said...

"Yes, even Stephen King novels.........."

Oi! I like Stephen King novels. :D

My books I never have a problem with. My DVD box sets, on the other hand, often go awandering.

Jez said...

Got any good books I can borrow?

I'll get 'em back to you - y'know - whenever...

Clairwil said...

The following is an acceptable way to obtain free books....
http://www.bookcrossing.com/

davo,
If I break a book's spine it is because it is too tightly bound and invariably the book belongs to me. If someone else breaks a book's spine the red mist descends people should be restricted to e-books only.

alan,
Best of luck with the Spanish girl. What book was it? If it was 'racy' that might be what prompted her to run of with the philanderer.

pam,
I have commissioned a 'specialist' website entitled 'Angry Librarians'- I take it I can count on your custom.

Billy,
That is truly terrible luck and a lesson to us all about the dangers of drinking and reading.

jules
What has prompted this transition to becoming the blogger formerly known as woman. Or are you an impostor?

Jez,
I'd probably stand a better chance of getting a book back after lending it to a total stranger on the internet than some people I know.

Clairwil said...

The following is an acceptable way to obtain free books....
http://www.bookcrossing.com/

davo,
If I break a book's spine it is because it is too tightly bound and invariably the book belongs to me. If someone else breaks a book's spine the red mist descends people should be restricted to e-books only.

alan,
Best of luck with the Spanish girl. What book was it? If it was 'racy' that might be what prompted her to run of with the philanderer.

pam,
I have commissioned a 'specialist' website entitled 'Angry Librarians'- I take it I can count on your custom.

Billy,
That is truly terrible luck and a lesson to us all about the dangers of drinking and reading.

jules
What has prompted this transition to becoming the blogger formerly known as woman. Or are you an impostor?

Jez,
I'd probably stand a better chance of getting a book back after lending it to a total stranger on the internet than some people I know.

David Duff said...

"I was demanding the return of the death penalty"

That's funny, so was I, just a minute ago over at my place, but only for murder, nothing as serious as book-stealing.

Aine said...

"jules
What has prompted this transition to becoming the blogger formerly known as woman. Or are you an impostor?"

It's still me. Really.

I wanted a proper name. :D

liwo said...

香港女星寫真,a片分享,美女色情裸體,台灣kiss情色貼圖,美腿圖,正妹,日本情色網,情色卡通下載,免費下載的做愛照片,線上a片免費看,tube影片,情色成人,ro 私服論壇,色情網,aaa片免費看短片分享區,日本人妻熟女自拍貼圖,蕃薯論壇,台灣網友自拍貼照,嘟嘟成人網,狂插漂亮美眉,8591論壇,女同志聊天室,人妻俱樂部網站,背包客棧論壇,成人性感內衣,看美女脫光光,黑澀會美眉無名,色咪咪貼影片,無碼a片,aa片免費看,免費線上觀看a片,做愛的圖片,色情漫畫,性感卡通美女圖片,香港a片,自拍,情色圖書館,plus 28 論壇,1007視訊,熟女自拍照,苗栗人聊天室,黑澀會美眉即時通,jp成人,色情,aaaaa片俱樂部,情侶歡愉用品,

okav成人影院,網友裸體自拍,交友ukiss,娘家影片,a片免費,黑澀會美眉即時通,人妻性交俱樂部,聊天室尋夢園,18禁,情色性感美女圖片,美女短片免費試看,3級女星寫真,情色短片論壇,摯愛中年聊天室,美腿貼圖,影音聊天,聊天室找一夜,g世代論壇,免費線上影片,淫蕩少女,火辣美眉自拍寫真貼圖,內衣寫真秀,美少女自拍,aa片免費看影片,麗的情色,gogo2sex,aooyy 成人玩具,台灣成人網,素人自拍,

fgeegf said...

sogo情色網,小魔女免費影片,9k躺伯虎聊天室,只有貼圖區,網路美女,a片小遊戲,比基尼辣妹影片,視訊交友90739,免費色情影片,星光情色討論版,18禁地戀愛遊戲,廁所偷拍,18禁,台灣kiss情色文學,線上看,飯島愛影片觀看,免費線上影片,美腿論壇,聊天室找一夜,情色自拍,影音日誌,自拍片,寫真女郎攝影網,網愛聊天室,情色文學網,av女優dvd,dudu 嘟嘟貼圖區,比基尼辣妹影片,視訊聊天室,自拍照片,成人論壇,模特兒寫真,a片dvd,情色偷拍,美女遊戲,666 貼圖區,成人短片,線上觀看a片,免費a片線上看,080 聊天室,情色交友,女生自衛影片,男男貼圖區,免費線上觀看a片,模特兒,家庭教師影片,情色貼片,美女貼圖片區,免費aa片試看,成人貼圖區,網際論壇,

線上直播a片,免費a圖a片,080 聊天室,av視訊,情色交友,模特兒,自拍影片,真實自拍,嘟嘟情色,視訊,免費視訊聊天室,壞朋友論壇fliendo,成人a片,美女交友,383v live實境影音秀,嘟嘟貼圖,花王自拍,飯島愛寫真集,微風寫真網,忘年之交聊天室,爽翻天成人用品,正妹百人斬,383影音live秀,美女做愛,天天情色,免費視訊聊天室,vlog電眼美女,聊天室080,情色貼片,無碼女優,showlive影音聊天網,日本女優,都都成人站,視訊會議,080 苗栗人聊天室,洪爺情色網,北部人聊天室,一葉晴貼圖區,色遊戲,同志影片,aaaa片俱樂部,免費影片線上直播,ut男同志聊天室,貼影片,免費a片下載,歐美模特兒寫真,百分百成人圖片,ut 女同聊天室,夫妻自拍,