4/27/2006

I know it's cheap and lazy but I can't help myself.

Hello,

There I was last night fresh from despairing at the toffee nosed twittery of the Euston girls when I sat down to watch the news. I haven't laughed this much since the dying days of the Major government. One catastrophe after another. I am of course referring to the staggering series of disasters that have befallen Tony and chums.

I claim no expertise in anything, no special knowledge. I am not an intellectual or even especially brainy but how in the name of God is it possible to lose 1000 foreign prisoners? To lose one prisoner may be regarded as a misfortune but to lose a thousand beggars belief. I might be making a total fool of myself here but is not relatively easy to check someones papers prior to their release from prison and then put them on a plane? Charles Clarke redefines the word incompetence. Perhaps if he wasn't so busy deporting law abiding, decent families he could turn his attention to protecting the public from paedophiles, rapists and murderers . I am starting to wonder if the Labour party have got a bit confused and started campaigning for the BNP instead. Oh for the days when politicians resigned when they cocked things up.

However let's pause to give the nurses a round of applause. In fact stop reading, stand up and give them a two minute standing ovation. The nurses could only have improved on their marvellous attack on the loathsome Hewitt if they'd dumped the contents of a bedpan over her head. 'Substantial pay increases'- not as substantial as yours I'll bet, you disgraceful old trout.

Finally we were treated to the frankly astonishing news that John Prescott had a bit on the side. My mother always says that there's no accounting for taste -but John Prescott! I always thought he was lucky to land that crazy 80's style monstrosity he's married to. I can only assume Miss Temple was understandably confused by his bizarre mangling of the English language and when he asked her to take down some notes she's done something else entirely. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that I'd be referring to John Prescott as 'two shags' but thanks to our tabloid chums I am. I haven't felt so delighted at a tabloid since the 'Paddy Pantsdown' Sun headline.

I realise all this has a serious side but it's not often politics gives us all a good laugh so let's just enjoy the fun while we can and always remember there are more of us than there are of them and if we all spat at once we'd drown the bastards. Finally does anyone reckon they'll be able to come up with something to top the Stephen Milligan death by auto erotic asphyxiation scandal and if so what?

Cheerio

10 comments:

Steve said...

Losing 1000 prisoners is pretty astonishing. It deserves a laugh before the serious side takes over. The thing I couldn't believe was that the Scottish news pretty much dismissed the fact as an "English problem" because, hey only 81 prisoners have been lost up here!

And JOHN PRESCOTT?! Well I guess a bit of power can buy you quite a lot of things . . .

Steve55 said...

Nothing, nothing, nothing will ever be quite as funny as the manner of poor Mr Milligan's departure. I realise one shouldn't laugh about these things, but by God he made it hard not to.

What else could you want in a death? Asphyxiation? Check. Oranges? Check. Stockings on a man? Check. Marauding gorilla? Ah, I see where it could have been improved.

Seriously, Tom Sharpe couldn't have parodied it.

alan said...

I don't think I've heard anything funnier that the 2 shags story since i read about john major shagging edwina curry on his office desk with his socks held up by garters.

i'm sure the labour party will be able to match the tory death wish as they pursue their downward spiral towards the next general election. i'm thinking of something involving peter 'mandy' mandelson wearing a nappy and a billy-goat stolen from huddersfield zoo chained up in his cellar beside a waxworks dummy of lord archer on all fours, and naked.

Clairwil said...

'The thing I couldn't believe was that the Scottish news pretty much dismissed the fact as an "English problem"'

Of course being foreign these criminals wouldn't be able to get on buses or trains and travel to any part of the U.K the liked would they?

The demise of Mr Milligan is a hard one to top, though Alan's scenario pretty much does it.

Billy said...

I don't think Labour will top the Tories scandal-wise. Doesn't mean they won't try.

Basically the majority of Labour scandals are about money - because they represent the working classes, whereas the Tories are all about sex - because they stand for family values.

Of course Prescott bucks the trend, I've lost count of how many "Prescott? Would you?" blog posts I've seen.

Clairwil said...

I don't know though Billy, this lot seem to be so amoral and grasping I wouldn't put anything past them. Sex scandals don't really interest me beyond the cheap laugh level, though I wonder if the timing John Prescott's was an attempt to draw attention away from the more serious government mishaps.

John said...

Isn't it just another example of NuLabor (and the LibDems for that mattter - don't forget Mark Oaten and his golden showers threesome) stealing Tory ideas?

Clairwil said...

It probably is John. But wouldn't it have been so much better if they'd restricted themselves to pinching sexual rather than ideological tricks.
We can but dream.

P.S I didn't know Mark Oaten was only involved in 'golden showers' I thought his vice was worse, far worse.

liwo said...

香港女星寫真,a片分享,美女色情裸體,台灣kiss情色貼圖,美腿圖,正妹,日本情色網,情色卡通下載,免費下載的做愛照片,線上a片免費看,tube影片,情色成人,ro 私服論壇,色情網,aaa片免費看短片分享區,日本人妻熟女自拍貼圖,蕃薯論壇,台灣網友自拍貼照,嘟嘟成人網,狂插漂亮美眉,8591論壇,女同志聊天室,人妻俱樂部網站,背包客棧論壇,成人性感內衣,看美女脫光光,黑澀會美眉無名,色咪咪貼影片,無碼a片,aa片免費看,免費線上觀看a片,做愛的圖片,色情漫畫,性感卡通美女圖片,香港a片,自拍,情色圖書館,plus 28 論壇,1007視訊,熟女自拍照,苗栗人聊天室,黑澀會美眉即時通,jp成人,色情,aaaaa片俱樂部,情侶歡愉用品,

okav成人影院,網友裸體自拍,交友ukiss,娘家影片,a片免費,黑澀會美眉即時通,人妻性交俱樂部,聊天室尋夢園,18禁,情色性感美女圖片,美女短片免費試看,3級女星寫真,情色短片論壇,摯愛中年聊天室,美腿貼圖,影音聊天,聊天室找一夜,g世代論壇,免費線上影片,淫蕩少女,火辣美眉自拍寫真貼圖,內衣寫真秀,美少女自拍,aa片免費看影片,麗的情色,gogo2sex,aooyy 成人玩具,台灣成人網,素人自拍,

fgeegf said...

sogo情色網,小魔女免費影片,9k躺伯虎聊天室,只有貼圖區,網路美女,a片小遊戲,比基尼辣妹影片,視訊交友90739,免費色情影片,星光情色討論版,18禁地戀愛遊戲,廁所偷拍,18禁,台灣kiss情色文學,線上看,飯島愛影片觀看,免費線上影片,美腿論壇,聊天室找一夜,情色自拍,影音日誌,自拍片,寫真女郎攝影網,網愛聊天室,情色文學網,av女優dvd,dudu 嘟嘟貼圖區,比基尼辣妹影片,視訊聊天室,自拍照片,成人論壇,模特兒寫真,a片dvd,情色偷拍,美女遊戲,666 貼圖區,成人短片,線上觀看a片,免費a片線上看,080 聊天室,情色交友,女生自衛影片,男男貼圖區,免費線上觀看a片,模特兒,家庭教師影片,情色貼片,美女貼圖片區,免費aa片試看,成人貼圖區,網際論壇,

線上直播a片,免費a圖a片,080 聊天室,av視訊,情色交友,模特兒,自拍影片,真實自拍,嘟嘟情色,視訊,免費視訊聊天室,壞朋友論壇fliendo,成人a片,美女交友,383v live實境影音秀,嘟嘟貼圖,花王自拍,飯島愛寫真集,微風寫真網,忘年之交聊天室,爽翻天成人用品,正妹百人斬,383影音live秀,美女做愛,天天情色,免費視訊聊天室,vlog電眼美女,聊天室080,情色貼片,無碼女優,showlive影音聊天網,日本女優,都都成人站,視訊會議,080 苗栗人聊天室,洪爺情色網,北部人聊天室,一葉晴貼圖區,色遊戲,同志影片,aaaa片俱樂部,免費影片線上直播,ut男同志聊天室,貼影片,免費a片下載,歐美模特兒寫真,百分百成人圖片,ut 女同聊天室,夫妻自拍,