4/18/2006

Hope Springs Eternal

Hello,

Long term readers may be aware that I have a very irritating work colleague who occasionally makes up for ruining my life simply breathing, by making a total twat of himself. Well I'm pleased in a watching a car crash sort of way to announce he's done it again. Before I elaborate let me ask you all a question.

Gays, Bisexuals, Lesbians, Transsexuals, Heterosexuals and Foot Fetishists, what is the one thing that unites us? The one thing someone can say to us that leaves no room for misunderstanding?

Yes it's my favourite the good old 'I like you- AS A FRIEND' knock back. Good God! you don't need to be remotely sensitive to realise that really means 'I don't want to hurt your feelings but I do want you to fuck off'.

Not in the mixed up world of my dim colleague. In his mind he has a girlfriend. He is also under the impression that 'the word's getting round that he's separated' which is apparently causing a fair bit of excitement amongst the ladies of the east end. I should point out that this individual bears a striking resemblance to Mr Bean only not as attractive, wears white shoes and dances very very badly. He is thick too. Thick beyond all belief. At the time of writing he is under the impression that I have no idea who Johnny Cash was or heard any of his music. In the interests of fairness I should point out that I did tell him I'd never heard of Johnny Cash to see if he was gullible enough to believe it. He seems to enjoy believing he is far cleverer than me and I'm quite happy to give him enough rope. I still look back fondly on the pub conversation I was having with another colleague about Oscar Wilde and my total astonishment as that idiot interrupted us and started telling us to read Ron L Hubbard and William Shatner. Apparently some of their ideas are 'really interesting'.

Anyway to return to the present situation. After bombarding this poor woman with text messages she has foolishly agreed to go out with him for a drink only. In his mind this is of course a sign of something serious. He is disappointed that he couldn't 'take her somewhere really nice- like Di Maggios'. Call me a snob but I just about pissed myself when he said that. Wooooo Di Maggios is 'really nice' for fucks sake I'll bet he turns up with a box of Ferrero Rocher and tells her he's an ambassador. I'll also lay money on him having a handy stash of rohypnol with him- that is if she actually exists. In the event she is real I just hope he persuades her to go somewhere with a dance floor.

Cheerio

7 comments:

Billy said...

That guy sounds like a nightmare - I thought my work colleagues were bad!

Clairwil said...

Oh Billy,
It is almost impossible to convey what an utter fool this guy is. He'll believe just about anything. He is like about five or six bad work colleagues rolled into one.

Binty McShae said...

I worked with a guy like that once. Unfortunately I'm the kind of bloke that tries to sit people down and have a chat with them in the hope that they might realise that their behaviour is upsetting andmaybe, just maybe, mend their ways. Not this time... the guy went damn near psycho on me.

A few years later he was banged up for robbing an old lady by throwing acid in her face. Goes to show it's not always the quiet ones...

Clairwil said...

Oh dear God! Binty this awful news has not reassured me at all. I've been waiting for the work loon to explode in someway for years now. At best we'll end at trying to talk him down from the roof and at worst.....Who knows? I'm a bit worried that he's been told his contract is due to end soon but is refusing to look for another job. I reckon he's going to take us all hostage.

the anti-barney said...

Can you not warn the unfortunate woman off.

liwo said...

香港女星寫真,a片分享,美女色情裸體,台灣kiss情色貼圖,美腿圖,正妹,日本情色網,情色卡通下載,免費下載的做愛照片,線上a片免費看,tube影片,情色成人,ro 私服論壇,色情網,aaa片免費看短片分享區,日本人妻熟女自拍貼圖,蕃薯論壇,台灣網友自拍貼照,嘟嘟成人網,狂插漂亮美眉,8591論壇,女同志聊天室,人妻俱樂部網站,背包客棧論壇,成人性感內衣,看美女脫光光,黑澀會美眉無名,色咪咪貼影片,無碼a片,aa片免費看,免費線上觀看a片,做愛的圖片,色情漫畫,性感卡通美女圖片,香港a片,自拍,情色圖書館,plus 28 論壇,1007視訊,熟女自拍照,苗栗人聊天室,黑澀會美眉即時通,jp成人,色情,aaaaa片俱樂部,情侶歡愉用品,

okav成人影院,網友裸體自拍,交友ukiss,娘家影片,a片免費,黑澀會美眉即時通,人妻性交俱樂部,聊天室尋夢園,18禁,情色性感美女圖片,美女短片免費試看,3級女星寫真,情色短片論壇,摯愛中年聊天室,美腿貼圖,影音聊天,聊天室找一夜,g世代論壇,免費線上影片,淫蕩少女,火辣美眉自拍寫真貼圖,內衣寫真秀,美少女自拍,aa片免費看影片,麗的情色,gogo2sex,aooyy 成人玩具,台灣成人網,素人自拍,

fgeegf said...

sogo情色網,小魔女免費影片,9k躺伯虎聊天室,只有貼圖區,網路美女,a片小遊戲,比基尼辣妹影片,視訊交友90739,免費色情影片,星光情色討論版,18禁地戀愛遊戲,廁所偷拍,18禁,台灣kiss情色文學,線上看,飯島愛影片觀看,免費線上影片,美腿論壇,聊天室找一夜,情色自拍,影音日誌,自拍片,寫真女郎攝影網,網愛聊天室,情色文學網,av女優dvd,dudu 嘟嘟貼圖區,比基尼辣妹影片,視訊聊天室,自拍照片,成人論壇,模特兒寫真,a片dvd,情色偷拍,美女遊戲,666 貼圖區,成人短片,線上觀看a片,免費a片線上看,080 聊天室,情色交友,女生自衛影片,男男貼圖區,免費線上觀看a片,模特兒,家庭教師影片,情色貼片,美女貼圖片區,免費aa片試看,成人貼圖區,網際論壇,

線上直播a片,免費a圖a片,080 聊天室,av視訊,情色交友,模特兒,自拍影片,真實自拍,嘟嘟情色,視訊,免費視訊聊天室,壞朋友論壇fliendo,成人a片,美女交友,383v live實境影音秀,嘟嘟貼圖,花王自拍,飯島愛寫真集,微風寫真網,忘年之交聊天室,爽翻天成人用品,正妹百人斬,383影音live秀,美女做愛,天天情色,免費視訊聊天室,vlog電眼美女,聊天室080,情色貼片,無碼女優,showlive影音聊天網,日本女優,都都成人站,視訊會議,080 苗栗人聊天室,洪爺情色網,北部人聊天室,一葉晴貼圖區,色遊戲,同志影片,aaaa片俱樂部,免費影片線上直播,ut男同志聊天室,貼影片,免費a片下載,歐美模特兒寫真,百分百成人圖片,ut 女同聊天室,夫妻自拍,