I was feeling a bit better until I went back to work.
As you are aware I was recently laid low with a mystery illness. I don't know if I'm alone in this but I always seem to have really peculiar dreams when I'm ill. Here are yesterdays highlights.
1. I come home from work to find he who must not be mentioned on this blog shagging Ruby from Eastenders and claiming he'd 'won' her in an FHM competition. The pair of them were totally unembarrassed by this startling incident and I ended up apologising.
2. I find a small boy with his finger stuck in a Dalmatian's ear. The Dalmatian managed to struggle free, turned red and ran about snapping at things.
3. I am on the phone explaining to someone that I can't leave my house because the tides in. I look out the window only to discover that my home is being menaced by a giant squid.
I don't know what any of the above might mean and would be delighted if anyone could explain.
I returned to work, only for tragedy to strike. In my absence my new nemesis has been elected as a volunteer representative and will now sit on the management committee. I could cry. If I have to hear that toss say 'I've got a degree' once more I will kill someone.