Hello,
Has a festival of slow witted intolerance commenced without me being informed this year? I merely ask because our local knuckledraggers seem to have been rather vocal of late.
On Saturday we had our Republican and Orange chums beg the question who should be put up against a wall and shot first and leave me scratching my head. I am of course referring to the Armed Forces Day debacle on Saturday. It could and should have been a perfectly ordinary, straightforward military service. Instead we have in the Orange corner we have soap dodgers mooing witlessly at the Scottish Secretary Jim Murphy not because he's a useless careerist little nit but because he's a Catholic. Not to be outdone the Green corner mooed witlessly at the army for being British in Britain, motivated no doubt by a desire to provoke the Orangers to attack so they can go up the road whining about British persecution.
Would it be asking too much of both sides to reflect on the tolerance shown to them during their repellent marches by the appalled, inconvenienced and intimidated public and consider returning the favour once in a while? It's not like the rest of us don't want to chop them into little pieces before hurling them into remote landfill sites it's just that we were born and brought up as opposed to shat out and dragged down which helps with restraint. Do not even start me on their post Old Firm match antics which prove beyond all reasonable doubt that both evolution and intelligent design are bunk. Someone should organise a literacy campaign as a matter of urgency.
Moving on the owner of The Pakistani Cafe has taken the unusual step of rolling up to work in a stab proof vest owing to a collection of sub normal halwifts taking exception to his cafe. I must declare an interest here in that I'm a big fan of The Pakistani, the food is fantastic, the prices are dirt cheap and it's a nice, relaxed place to while away an hour with the paper and a cup of chai.
Reading the report in the record the trouble appears to have started when a customer took exception to the presence of a book by Salman Rushdie amongst the reading material provided for customers. I must confess I prefer a bit of P.G Wodehouse myself, if I were the customer I'd just have ignored the books I didn't like and made do with Chat or Women's Realm rather than kicking up a stupid fuss over nothing.
Anyway it all seems to have got out of hand and now the youths have got the hump because the cafe owner plays a bit of music and serves alcohol which, unless the Taliban have been elected behind my back is perfectly acceptable in these parts. To my mind it's way more acceptable than this latter day bunch of Carry Nation's threatening to petrol bomb the cafe, smashing windows and sticking their beaks into other folks business. Who appointed these wankers as the south side's moral guardians? They can't be allowed to get the upper hand, let them win once and before we know it no-one will be allowed to do anything except break windows and hurl petrol bombs if their disgraceful conduct is anything to go by.
Still every cloud has a silver lining, it's not often one gets to stand up to the scum of the earth, show a bit of solidarity with a man in trouble whilst eating like a king on a beggars wages. To that end I recommend everyone make a point of dropping into The Pakistani Cafe for a cup of chai and a bite to eat as often as they possibly can not only to thwart the puritans but because it's a bloody fine establishment and I don't want our Mr Sharif drowning in a sea of stupidity.
Cheerio
P.S The Karachi omelette is a triumph.
Showing posts with label twats. Show all posts
Showing posts with label twats. Show all posts
6/29/2009
10/26/2008
Easy Lionel!
Hello,
It's not often the world of gaming comes to my attention but that outlet for mediocre drivel the Metro letters page has been quivering with rage about Muslims getting offended.
I am referring to Sony's decision to withdraw 'LittleBigPlanet' because a song featured on it 'might' offend Muslims. Please note that is might rather than will.
I will leave aside Sony's failure to acknowledge my outrage at them sticking three words together because of the calm disposition I am famed for. No laughing at the back.
Anyway this piece of nonsense started because a Muslim gamer who had been playing the game in trials advised them that the use of music quoting The Qu'ran 'could' be offensive. Please note 'could' rather than is.
Clearly Sony have commercial considerations to take into account, Muslim's money being as good anyone else's but I'm still puzzled. The controversial music was recorded by Toumani Diabate who intended it as a celebration of The Qu'ran perhaps with him being a Muslim. From what I can gather he is affronted at the notion that he's done anything offensive.
A simple reading of the facts indicates that there is no single Muslim opinion on this. Some Muslims will be offended, others will be indifferent and some might be chuffed at the inclusion of a bit of religious music in the game. Nevertheless I am puzzled as to why the views of the easily offended should take precedence.
If it's because Sony are concerned about violent reprisals then I have to say I find this troubling.
It is, of course, true that there a minority of Muslims who have no qualms about the use of violence and clearly these people are a significant threat but pandering to them is hardly likely to reduce that threat. As anyone bullied in school can tell you backing down to bullies doesn't make them go away it just spurs them on to greater heights. Arguably Sony have social responsibility to publish and be damned in defence of freedom of expression. After all without that they'd find it hard to sell any games at all.
Furthermore Islam is a world religion with as many, if not more adherents amongst the poor, ill-educated and dispossessed as amongst the affluent and well educated. Is it wise to perpetuate the notion that only those who shout loudest, adopt the most extreme positions or bomb most will be listened to? Unfortunately that message won't only be absorbed the the black slaves of Sudanese Muslim Arabs or women treated like animals in the theocracies of the Middle East, the folk who want to blow up your flight to Malaga will be taking note too.
The only alternative to us all putting up with each other is perpetual war or a heavily policed, segregated world. Personally I'd prefer it we could all co-exist quite amicably. Strengthening tolerant and progressive voices is one means of achieving this. Acting like a spinster fleeing a mouse every time you might ruffle a few Islamic feathers is as bad as actively promoting oppression.
I shall end by stating that I have no particular wish to see Muslim's offended. There are aspects of Islam I like and aspects that appall me - as with every other religion I've studied. I don't mention this out of fear or a belief that all and every Muslim is a terrorist. It's not pandering to extremists. It's true I wouldn't bother with a statement like this if I were criticising Christianity. I do so only to distance myself from the knuckle draggers who know enough to tart up their anti- immigrant bilge up in concern about the influence of Islam but not enough to know that it really is unlikely every Pakistani who comes to Britain get's £30,000 cash from the government at the airport.
Cheerio
A simple reading of the facts indicates that there is no single Muslim opinion on this. Some Muslims will be offended, others will be indifferent and some might be chuffed at the inclusion of a bit of religious music in the game. Nevertheless I am puzzled as to why the views of the easily offended should take precedence.
If it's because Sony are concerned about violent reprisals then I have to say I find this troubling.
It is, of course, true that there a minority of Muslims who have no qualms about the use of violence and clearly these people are a significant threat but pandering to them is hardly likely to reduce that threat. As anyone bullied in school can tell you backing down to bullies doesn't make them go away it just spurs them on to greater heights. Arguably Sony have social responsibility to publish and be damned in defence of freedom of expression. After all without that they'd find it hard to sell any games at all.
Furthermore Islam is a world religion with as many, if not more adherents amongst the poor, ill-educated and dispossessed as amongst the affluent and well educated. Is it wise to perpetuate the notion that only those who shout loudest, adopt the most extreme positions or bomb most will be listened to? Unfortunately that message won't only be absorbed the the black slaves of Sudanese Muslim Arabs or women treated like animals in the theocracies of the Middle East, the folk who want to blow up your flight to Malaga will be taking note too.
The only alternative to us all putting up with each other is perpetual war or a heavily policed, segregated world. Personally I'd prefer it we could all co-exist quite amicably. Strengthening tolerant and progressive voices is one means of achieving this. Acting like a spinster fleeing a mouse every time you might ruffle a few Islamic feathers is as bad as actively promoting oppression.
I shall end by stating that I have no particular wish to see Muslim's offended. There are aspects of Islam I like and aspects that appall me - as with every other religion I've studied. I don't mention this out of fear or a belief that all and every Muslim is a terrorist. It's not pandering to extremists. It's true I wouldn't bother with a statement like this if I were criticising Christianity. I do so only to distance myself from the knuckle draggers who know enough to tart up their anti- immigrant bilge up in concern about the influence of Islam but not enough to know that it really is unlikely every Pakistani who comes to Britain get's £30,000 cash from the government at the airport.
Cheerio
10/22/2007
A Mysterious Incident in The Office.
Hello,
I did promise you all a tale about my irritating work colleague so here it is. I did have a sketch to accompany it but my scanner is in a huff, so you'll need to wait for that. In the meantime here goes.
On Friday morning my irritating colleague called in sick stating he'd suffered 'a fall'. For reasons that are beyond me he turned up at the office at lunch time to explain face to face that he wouldn't be in. As he was due in at 10am by lunchtime we'd all worked that out.
Imagine my surprise and delight when he appeared reeking to high heaven of drink with cuts to both sides of his face his nose and knuckles still claiming to have fallen. A story he stuck to even after the entire office had stated it was obvious he's been in a fight.
His 'story' is that he was coming back from the pub and slipped on some gravel on a 'steep hill' after which everything conveniently goes blank. Now I'm no expert on forensics, in truth I am not even incompetent in it, however how is it possible to fall on your face and not only graze both knuckles but cut one's nose quite deeply, scrape both cheekbones and get a black eye?
Being an unusually clumsy individual I am expert on the subject of falling and those injuries aren't consistent with a fall. So the question arises what fucking hero walloped him? Who is the chap? What does he drink? What happened?
I am afraid I have become obsessed with uncovering the truth. So much so that Mr Clairwil half expects to me turn up in a deerstalker which is just silly, I see myself as more in the Miss Marple mould. I have even retraced his steps from the pub and can report that there is no loose gravel and no steep hills.
I suspect I know the motive all I'm missing is the perpetrator. I will keep you posted.
I did promise you all a tale about my irritating work colleague so here it is. I did have a sketch to accompany it but my scanner is in a huff, so you'll need to wait for that. In the meantime here goes.
On Friday morning my irritating colleague called in sick stating he'd suffered 'a fall'. For reasons that are beyond me he turned up at the office at lunch time to explain face to face that he wouldn't be in. As he was due in at 10am by lunchtime we'd all worked that out.
Imagine my surprise and delight when he appeared reeking to high heaven of drink with cuts to both sides of his face his nose and knuckles still claiming to have fallen. A story he stuck to even after the entire office had stated it was obvious he's been in a fight.
His 'story' is that he was coming back from the pub and slipped on some gravel on a 'steep hill' after which everything conveniently goes blank. Now I'm no expert on forensics, in truth I am not even incompetent in it, however how is it possible to fall on your face and not only graze both knuckles but cut one's nose quite deeply, scrape both cheekbones and get a black eye?
Being an unusually clumsy individual I am expert on the subject of falling and those injuries aren't consistent with a fall. So the question arises what fucking hero walloped him? Who is the chap? What does he drink? What happened?
I am afraid I have become obsessed with uncovering the truth. So much so that Mr Clairwil half expects to me turn up in a deerstalker which is just silly, I see myself as more in the Miss Marple mould. I have even retraced his steps from the pub and can report that there is no loose gravel and no steep hills.
I suspect I know the motive all I'm missing is the perpetrator. I will keep you posted.
9/28/2007
Going about things the wrong way........
Hello,
I see we have had another small victory in The War Against Terror in that this rather unassuming chap has been arrested for trying to kill civil servants.
Whilst there can be few among us haven't at some point longed to kill a civil servant I'm afraid our Mr Cooper has gone about things the wrong way. Some time ago Flying Rodent gave the world a handy post full of advice and tips on sending civil servants mad and I would refer anyone contemplating killing a civil servant to read it and reconsider. Had Mr Cooper taken the time to do a spot of research he wouldn't be in the mess he's in today. To think people think blogs are just a load of oafs writing drivel!
Anyway the whole letter-bomb thing is a waste of time, they never get to anyone who really deserves a face full of rusty nails instead some poor New Deal office monkey cops it. Apparently it was some sort of protest about I-D cards which will probably make their introduction more likely than ever knowing the way our rulers minds work.
That's it from me I'm a way to huff impotently at events in Burma and feast on vegetarian haggis and mashed potatoes.
Cheerio
I see we have had another small victory in The War Against Terror in that this rather unassuming chap has been arrested for trying to kill civil servants.
Whilst there can be few among us haven't at some point longed to kill a civil servant I'm afraid our Mr Cooper has gone about things the wrong way. Some time ago Flying Rodent gave the world a handy post full of advice and tips on sending civil servants mad and I would refer anyone contemplating killing a civil servant to read it and reconsider. Had Mr Cooper taken the time to do a spot of research he wouldn't be in the mess he's in today. To think people think blogs are just a load of oafs writing drivel!
Anyway the whole letter-bomb thing is a waste of time, they never get to anyone who really deserves a face full of rusty nails instead some poor New Deal office monkey cops it. Apparently it was some sort of protest about I-D cards which will probably make their introduction more likely than ever knowing the way our rulers minds work.
That's it from me I'm a way to huff impotently at events in Burma and feast on vegetarian haggis and mashed potatoes.
Cheerio
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