For The Love Of God.......

Hello,
Back in April I decided to transfer my mortgage following a few misunderstandings with the bank. That is to say the bank don't understand that I'm disorganised and require far more money than I earn to live decently. Anyway I tootled along to a mortgage broker who reckoned he could get anyone anything -to look at him you'd think butter wouldn't melt but he tried to bribe me to refer clients to him during the course of my application! Naturally I declined out of fear of getting caught rather than any moral objection.

After trying for months on end to get the bank to give me a settlement figure (six written requests 17 phone calls and two faxes), I had all that I needed to go ahead. The nice lady at my new mortgage company assured me that everything was fine and I should have my old mortgage settled and the wee bit extra within a week. That was three weeks ago.

I phoned again last week at was told all the paperwork was at the lawyer so it should be done and dusted in the next few days. I phoned the lawyers who advised that I should have the money in the next 5-7 days. Still nothing.

I had intended to go away for a few days next week -Belfast since you ask and was relying on that money to pay for it. There doesn't appear to be any law against torturing debtors in this way and you may be surprised to learn I seem to be the only person anything like this has ever happened to -something of a recurring theme in my life.

I'm at the end of my tether with it. Any suggestions that don't involve me strangling a hapless office clerk with my bare hands.

The Health Service Fights Back

Hello,
As someone who has been sent potty to the tonsils by working with the public I'm always pleased to hear of the front line fighting back.

Last weeks Digger carries the tale of one David Perham, a nurse working at Stobhill hospital. There was Mr Perham in the middle of a twelve hour shift when David Anderson was admitted with back pains. Mr Perham offered Mr Anderson paracetamol only to be told that 'they're fucking useless'. He then went to get another nurse to help deal with the complaint, to which Mr Anderson responded by calling him 'a useless cunt'. At this our hero Perham struck a blow form common sense and slapped Mr Anderson right on the kisser. Isn't it hilarious? Can you just imagine the look on his face?

Obviously one shouldn't condone such behaviour if one wants to appear reasonable. If I were in charge I would carefully weigh up the pros and cons, consider all the evidence and have abusive patients dumped on the street untreated with a book on manners. That is what I would do if I were in charge.

As you were.

Cheerio