Hello,
Something has been troubling me for a while now. First some background. I can be quite sensitive about certain things. Well that's what they tell me, I believe I just have higher standards than most other people but whatever, I have been known to attract derisive laughter when I explain what's troubling me. Make of that what you will.
I came off the happy pills a while back and a few initial wobbles aside it's gone quite well until now. I can be walking along the street quite happily when it -the awful thing assaults my poor eyes. A visual rape I am powerless to defend my goggles against. My human rights are being abused.
It's the new Celtic away strip. Why would they do something like this to innocent people? I like Celtic, admittedly only because they're from Glasgow and the alternatives are unspeakable. Also someone told me that Celtic keep all their money in a biscuit tin like a pensioner that doesn't trust banks which I think is rather wonderful. But none of this alters the fact that they have committed a crime against humanity. For God's sake look at the wretched thing! It's the sportswear version of Medusa. Don't look into it's hoops! You'll end up like Lot's wife or worse.
If it were only worn by Celtic players that would be tolerable as it would only be seen by consenting adults and children with appropriate adult supervision. That isn't what's happening though. Almost everyone in Glasgow is wearing the garment of aesthetic evil. Despite it's obvious ugliness it's a hard thing to look away from. Like a road accident or a decomposing set of Siamese twins. Only worse.
Women are wearing it. Fat people are wearing it. Creatures that look like they come from the Gallowgate are wearing it. Dear Lord I wouldn't raise an eyebrow if huns were wearing it. As I was saying to Mr Clairwil last night there is a very real chance that Celtic's bad style choices are going to put me under the doctor again. Fond as I am of Dr Lindsay and our little chats I prefer to run my own show.
I'm trying to stay strong but this abomination unto the Lord God has to stop. Surely some moderate Celtic fans could make their voices heard and make this visual hell stop. Failing that I could ask some of my mates from the knitting scene to rustle up an acceptable alternative. Either way someone has to act.
Cheerio
Showing posts with label evil. Show all posts
Showing posts with label evil. Show all posts
10/04/2009
9/04/2009
All Hail Lubna 'whip me if you dare' Hussein
Hello,
I'm not one of these proud to be a woman types. Not because there's anything wrong with being female but it's not something I had an awful lot to do with. To be proud of it would be like being proud of having big feet, it's just how I was born. I'm happy enough with that, although key moments of my life have been ruined for lack of a penis. Ideally I'd like to be able to switch genders at will but nature is not known for her generosity on the gender front. That said every so often a woman does something so heroic, courageous and downright brilliant that one does get the urge to strut around saying 'that's one of my lot' and basking in a bit of reflected glory. What can I say I'm a awful glory seeker.
I am referring to the brave and defiant Ms Lubna Hussein who has been sentenced to forty lashes by the savages that run Sudan for wearing trousers. What makes this woman so remarkable and sets her apart from most of the rest of us is that as an employee of the UN she was offered immunity by the Sundanese authorities. Instead of grabbing this opportunity with both hands she resigned from the UN in order to take the punishment and use her case to highlight the despicable behaviour of these sexually inadequate brutes.
Funnily enough these upstanding moral guardians are notoriously dishonest and regularly demand sexual favours from the women they arrest. You might feel a sliver of pity for these repellent chaps for being unable to get laid without using force but I'm inclined to repress that and send that portion of the pity ration to someone more deserving like Donald Trump. At least the thieving, lying, raping morality police get to feel good about themselves. In contrast Trump must sob himself to sleep thinking about that hair.
Whilst I would indulge in a cheeky lady chuckle if the world's women formed an army, invaded Sudan and strung every last member of their government up, the prospect is quite unlikely. Instead I have sent a letter, well more a miracle of restraint of to the Sudanese Embassy asking if they wouldn't mind giving the lashes a miss. Obviously what I wanted to write was 'would you wretched pigs do the world a favour and kill yourselves' but it's not terribly persuasive is it? The small penis jibes and wicked curses also hit the cutting room floor as did the threats to set fire to the ambassadors testicles and steal his Ferrero Rocher. Still it's hard to appeal to the better side of people who are so uniformly fucking awful, so it was a very short letter.
If anyone else is as eye poppingly angry about this as I am please write a polite letter to the Sudanese Embassy at 3 Cleveland Row, London, SW1A 1DD. For the sort of people who turn up on Reporting Scotland vox pops if you could put about one hundredth of the energy into supporting Ms Hussein as you do into worrying just how vast your arse looks in trousers and get an adult to help you with a letter to the Sudanese Embassy you might be able to point to at least one useful thing you've done in your pointless bovine life. There is also a petition to sign here.
Cheerio
I'm not one of these proud to be a woman types. Not because there's anything wrong with being female but it's not something I had an awful lot to do with. To be proud of it would be like being proud of having big feet, it's just how I was born. I'm happy enough with that, although key moments of my life have been ruined for lack of a penis. Ideally I'd like to be able to switch genders at will but nature is not known for her generosity on the gender front. That said every so often a woman does something so heroic, courageous and downright brilliant that one does get the urge to strut around saying 'that's one of my lot' and basking in a bit of reflected glory. What can I say I'm a awful glory seeker.
I am referring to the brave and defiant Ms Lubna Hussein who has been sentenced to forty lashes by the savages that run Sudan for wearing trousers. What makes this woman so remarkable and sets her apart from most of the rest of us is that as an employee of the UN she was offered immunity by the Sundanese authorities. Instead of grabbing this opportunity with both hands she resigned from the UN in order to take the punishment and use her case to highlight the despicable behaviour of these sexually inadequate brutes.
Funnily enough these upstanding moral guardians are notoriously dishonest and regularly demand sexual favours from the women they arrest. You might feel a sliver of pity for these repellent chaps for being unable to get laid without using force but I'm inclined to repress that and send that portion of the pity ration to someone more deserving like Donald Trump. At least the thieving, lying, raping morality police get to feel good about themselves. In contrast Trump must sob himself to sleep thinking about that hair.
Whilst I would indulge in a cheeky lady chuckle if the world's women formed an army, invaded Sudan and strung every last member of their government up, the prospect is quite unlikely. Instead I have sent a letter, well more a miracle of restraint of to the Sudanese Embassy asking if they wouldn't mind giving the lashes a miss. Obviously what I wanted to write was 'would you wretched pigs do the world a favour and kill yourselves' but it's not terribly persuasive is it? The small penis jibes and wicked curses also hit the cutting room floor as did the threats to set fire to the ambassadors testicles and steal his Ferrero Rocher. Still it's hard to appeal to the better side of people who are so uniformly fucking awful, so it was a very short letter.
If anyone else is as eye poppingly angry about this as I am please write a polite letter to the Sudanese Embassy at 3 Cleveland Row, London, SW1A 1DD. For the sort of people who turn up on Reporting Scotland vox pops if you could put about one hundredth of the energy into supporting Ms Hussein as you do into worrying just how vast your arse looks in trousers and get an adult to help you with a letter to the Sudanese Embassy you might be able to point to at least one useful thing you've done in your pointless bovine life. There is also a petition to sign here.
Cheerio
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