Mental Again!

I'm having a few of what my sillier chums call issues at the moment having misplaced my medication, deciding I'd never felt better before going slightly but quietly bonkers again. To be honest I knew things weren't going well when I found myself bawling my eyes out yesterday over the whole MP's expenses row. I mean it is infuriating but I don't think they meant it personally.

However my tearful outburst seems to have acted as some sort of misery magnet. I've always aimed for a stoic response to things and I'm usually reasonably successful in my day to day life if not my blogging life characterised as it is by displays of rage. I hate sobbing all over folk. Not only is it embarrassing but it never gets one anywhere. With the rare exception of Mr Clairwil who usually get's practical all you get are pitying looks and cliches before the subject is quietly changed.

Anyway since going mental again someone has ripped out a very striking bush I planted at my bins last year which was growing a treat with it's black leaves contrasting nicely against the whitewashed wall. I find it quite hard to express how much this has distressed me. Normally this sort of thing just makes me angry and resolve to plant something bigger, better and poisonous in it's place. Today I just felt like ripping the lot out. I feel I've run out of steam. I know it's absurd getting upset about plants but what possible pleasure is there in ripping one out the ground, seperating it from it's roots and leaving it dumped on the street? Why can't these people buy plants of their own to destroy rather than wrecking mine?

Let's face it they are fucking rich enough -it may surprise the snobs reading to learn that most of the vandalism carried out in our street is the work of middle class students. The only thing that cheers me up in all this is my neighbour's tales of having caught the toffs in the act and reduced them to tears by threatening them with the police. Something that always prompts rapid blinking, tears and a stuttered 'I'm at university'. Less cheering is his apparent acceptance that being students they aren't real criminals and don't mean any harm. To me that makes it worse I'd be more likely to let some barely sentient ned off the hook than someone who should know better and in a few years will be buggering off to a nice suburb.

Could we not build schemes for wanky toff students where they are housed in squalor so they can feel edgy and a wee bit working class without wrecking decent areas for the rest of us? Failing that I know a housing officer responsible for three horrid east end high rises who'd be delighted to fill a few unlet flats where the young team will give you the warmest of welcomes.
Anyway the students of High Street will be pleased to learn that I'm throwing in the towel. I just cannot keep putting myself through it. It would appear that I'm not as recovered as I thought.

I'm not going to rip out what I've planted but leave it to be destroyed, I will admit that a small part of me is curious as to how long it will take them.



Anonymous said...

The bastards will get theirs. Karma never fails - clearly it's getting me for everything I ever did wrong all at once.

Clairwil said...

Let's face it. I should never have got above myself in the first place.

iLL Man said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
iLL Man said...

Did you find your meds again?

I know it's easy for folk to say "don't give up", but when you're faced with that sort of crap, it's all you want to do. Leave it for a while and see what they do to it. If it remains fairly intact, you could maybe think of adding to it again. Townhead and Wilson Street are still there, and I'll be on hand to get in the way and help out when I can.

Hope yr feeling better soon.


joe90 kane said...

Lots of sympathy and solidarity Clairwil.

It's almost certain that it is the same clown(s) that are doing this.

I hope this revives your spirits and indomitable will -
Now That's Real Blogging - Tim Ireland Screws The BNP! -
Craig Murray
16 May 2009

Who said guerilla gardening was going to be easy, nobody.

Remember that the greater the odds and obstacles, then the greater the humanity and spirit of decency needed to overcome them - just ask the Palestinians.

With the iLL Man and your good self C, I'm sure you'll both work something out.

Take care - tak tent.

Clairwil said...

Ill Man,
Yes got the meds but they work on a it get worse before it gets better basis. I'm presently going for brisk walks every few hours or so and chanting 'must not self -harm'. It'll pass in a few days. Being mental is an awful penance.
I really can't face 'my bit' any more. Maybe I'll feel differntly once the meds kick in but I'm so distressed by what they've done this time. I adored that bush because I could see it's potential. It's the absolute want of imagination that kills me.

Thanks for that, they really are a bunch of buffoons arent they but for the love of God don't make me think of the Palestinians or I shall hurl myself in front of tram.

Anonymous said...

Clairwil- am I the only one who saw the social issue raised in this great post? This being your opinion on the class system, of course.

Anonymous said...

Hi Clarwil.

Sorry to hear you're not feeling well. I guess I met you at the townhead garden a while ago. You gave me a book?

When I read your post I dragged a friend along to townhead. We picked up all the litter and planted some sunflower seeds on the motorway side over the fence. It gets a lot of sun and the soil under the woodchips is very nice. We also planted some nasturtium seeds by the other young nasturtiums that are looking healthy.

The two best flowers I managed to grow at north kelvinside were picked so now I know how you feel. I'm also fairly sure the culprit was one of these 4x4 drivers who uses the land as a dog park for their herd of dogs.

Take care and I hope you feel better ASAP

Clairwil said...

I must admit I can be a bit chippy at times. The class balance in this area his tilted too far towards youthful upper middle and it's not pretty.

Thank-you so much for that. It fair restores the faith. Sorry to hear Kelvinside is being used as a dog park. I don't mind dogs really, they're a bit thick but by and large they don't mean any real harm. They're rulers on the other hand should be beheaded. The anti-social gits.