'Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats. ' -H.L. Mencken.
It would of course be terrible if mobs just went around smashing up the property of folk they didn't like but you'd need a heart of stone not to cackle at this morning's events at 10 South Oswald Road. I am of course referring to 'Sir' Fred's spot of bother with the good folk of 'Bank Bosses Are Criminals'.
I must declare an interest in that I have loathed Fred Goodwin since my days as an employee of RBS, there was of course my natural suspicion of anyone in authority but the main factor in my hatred of the unspeakable little creep was his habit of rolling up at offices and searching frantically for some reason to bully and humiliate a junior, usually female member of staff. Crimes that used to get his goat were shockers like hanging one's jacket on the back of a chair and having too many files on one's desk. Yes I must confess that irritated me no end, that and the fact he became visibly shaken and completely speechless on the rare occasions he picked the wrong target and got his answer.
That some poor bastard felt compelled to write him a note of apology after accidentally falling off a ladder and breaking one of his model aeroplanes tells you all you need to know about the repellent, inadequate, bullying little creep. You will also note the incredible spending and waste that went on indulging Freddie boy and other incompetents on the board. And to think I always felt slightly guilty at robbing the stationary cupboard on my last day - had I known that sort of caper was the norm I'd have helped myself to some furniture as well and possibly a computer or six.
For the love of God all we had in the way of catering was a bloody machine full of crisps and chocolate -not bit of fruit in sight, let alone fruit flown in daily from Paris. However I ask all of you to pay special attention to the 'rogue biscuits' allegation within the report and send Fred a packet of pink wafers at 10 South Oswald Rd, Edinburgh, Eh9 2HH. I will leave it up to you whether or not you enclose a photo of a jacket draped over the back of an office chair. If enough of us join in pink wafers could kick start the economy!
Of course the moral implications of this are being debated after a fashion over at The Guardian.
There is a part of me that loves mobs, head on poles and all the fun of the riot and then there is the dull socialised bit that keeps me civilised so I'm naturally a little torn between the two positions.
There are several objections to this morning's attack on which I'd like to chip in my tuppence worth. Several commentators have correctly pointed out that Sir Fred is but one individual and plenty of others including the government should shoulder some of the blame for the current mess. I am in complete agreement but as I see it we pick them off one by one. It would be a terrible waste of righteous anger if Freddy was the only one taking pelters.
It has also been pointed out that violence isn't the best way to change things which is indeed a fair point. Though of course no actual violence has been used or threatened as far as I'm aware. What has occurred is an act of vandalism similar to what goes on in schemes the length and breadth of Scotland -the chief difference being that the scheme dwelling victims don't deserve it and the police couldn't care less. It is also worth pointing out that Goodwin could end this any time he liked by handing back his pension. As he has not done so I think it fair to assume he thinks a few smashed windows and a life lived looking over one's shoulder is a fair exchange for the money.
Other's have pointed out that the government are delighted that everyone is calling for Fred's head on a plate as it distracts from the failure of their regulatory systems. Another fair point but they're on the way out, though I'd be supportive of anyone smashing their windows to see them on their way if I didn't think we'd end up paying for it.
Whilst I'm saddened to see a handsome old house damaged I am delighted to see Fred confronted with how the nation feels about him. So let's not waste this opportunity to rub it in send him a packet of pink wafers, sign the petition to have him stripped of his knighthood and then get creative- now we know he's not at his house in Edinburgh why don't we 'repossess' it for the nation? Anything short of injuring the fucker physically. I honestly believe if we all and I mean, all of us make the effort we could bring on a severe nervous breakdown. It won't solve anything but it'll be a good laugh and at least we know he'll have paid for his greed at our expense.