10/29/2008

The Uptight Stripper And a Nation Of Tits.

Hello,
I see the nation is having some sort of collective nervous breakdown over the antics of Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand. I'm afraid that being in possession of a somewhat cruel and vulgar sense of humour I was rather amused by it. Still I suppose one shouldn't go around upsetting elderly gentlemen so an apology is in order. Indeed apologies have been made and Andrew Sachs appears happy to leave it at that.

Still let's not forget all the other people who've been offended like the 10,000 who went on to the internet in search of a recording of a reportedly offensive broadcast simply so that they too could enjoy the thrill of victimhood without any real harm having befallen them. Will the BBC be providing one of their special counselling lines I wonder?

More amusing still is the reaction of Georgina Baillie (the grandaughter) who has bounced onto the pages of The Sun to reveal to world that the jokes had a bit more substance to them than we'd first thought in that she has shagged Brand three times. To be fair to her I expect with her line of work in niche soft porn and stripping she's not used to disrespectful remarks from the chaps. God life really is a bitch isn't it? Poor failed page 3 girl Georgina goes to all the bother of becoming 'empowered' by projecting herself as a sexually available 'Satanic Slut', no doubt looking down on the more honestly exhibitionist porn stars and pole dancers as she goes and finds she's accorded no more respect than any other one night stand.

Her claims to be outraged on her grandfathers behalf are as risible as they are phoney. If she were genuinely upset she wouldn't be pouring petrol on the fire by giving interviews, instead she'd be getting on with life and treating juvenile male behaviour with the contempt it deserves. Her bleating all over The Sun is no more than a job interview for the post of pointless celebrity. Never has one woman seized the chance of minor fame with such desperation. Still it'll be nice to see some raven hair for a change in the sea of blonde that is Nuts magazine.


Cheerio

UPDATE: It would appear from this weeks Popbitch that I've been rather hasty in accusing Georgina Baillie of looking down on porn stars. Apparently she's something of a starlet herself! Good God how will she preserve her dignity now? Perhaps by supplying The Sun with a description of exactly what her and Russell got up to. Grandad must be so proud -still at least his family aren't having their privacy invaded anymore.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Finally someone has said what i was thinking! Thank you. It started off with two complaints the papers pick it up and manufacture an outrage so they can bully the BBC. The end result is that Brand has resigned and Ross's emplyment is in jeopardy, they don't deserve that at all.

Lets not forget that Georgina has employed that paragon of virtue Max Clifford to represent her.

iLL Man said...

Interesting to note that on my journey around Zavvi/HMV/Borders tonight, Brand and Ross merchandise was being displayed together and very much to the fore. They've both been naughty boys, they've both apologised, neither will go hungry and they both ought to work again.

Hysteria and manufactured moral outrage are what the media do best. They'll always be on hand to whip up a storm of howling protest by appealing to what Twain referred to as the 'Damnable Moral Sense'

Katy Newton said...

I felt quite sorry for Andrew Sachs, because the messages were quite lengthy and explicit and I didn't really think he'd done anything to deserve it. I'm glad Ross got told off for it because I cannot bear him and frankly anyone who goes around threatening libel suits like he does at the drop of a hat on the basis of his own right to privacy deserves a bollocking when he encroaches on someone else's.

I'm not particularly impressed by the flood of retrospective complaints, though, or by the ousting of a genuine humanitarian crisis to make way for what was basically a rather nasty joke that got out of hand.

Clairwil said...

Andrew Sachs is the only one to emerge from this with any dignity though I think Brand's resignation is to his credit.

As I say though I'm afraid one of my less appealling traits is laughing at things that one shouldn't. Having been responsible for more than a few phone based pranks myself in the past I'm not really in a position to throw stones too hard.

That said they could have picked a better target for a prank call -perhaps a younger celebrity? I also think the BBC's descision to broadcast it was to say the least ill advised.

As for the grandaughter I find her complaints given her subsequent behaviour laughable. If she's acting on Max Clifford's advice then I'd suggest she reviews her PR arrangements quickly.

I am just hoping that we're not still reading about this in a week. There are rather more pressing issues that could be doing with 25,000 people going mental. On that very subject.....

Anonymous said...

As I say though I'm afraid one of my less appealling traits is laughing at things that one shouldn't. Having been responsible for more than a few phone based pranks myself in the past I'm not really in a position to throw stones too hard.

I'm assuming though that you're not being paid 6 million quid a year for those 'phone based pranks'.

iLL Man said...

Don't mean to be pedantic, but Ross is paid six million a year to host a tv show. As far as I can tell, he made the calls on Brand's show as a guest.

I say he's worth every penny of his retainer. I'd pay him twice that actually. Jeremy Clarkson must be kept at bay!!!

Clairwil said...

I wasn't even paid sixpence!

Anonymous said...

@clairwil,
I wasn't even paid sixpence!

That's slave labour. You should like seek compensation or something.

@ill man

Don't mean to be pedantic, but Ross is paid six million a year to host a tv show. As far as I can tell, he made the calls on Brand's show as a guest.

I say he's worth every penny of his retainer. I'd pay him twice that actually. Jeremy Clarkson must be kept at bay!!!


Write him a cheque. I'm sure he'd be grateful*. As an aside I am concerned with the number of people who are saying that Friday nights won't be the same without Jonathan Ross. Aren't we supposed to be a nation of binge drinkers? I think our hard-won reputation may be at stake.

*Actually, make it payable to me. I'll see that he gets it.