You must forgive me for being out of the loop on this one -I've been busy again but the hilarious atheist bus campaign has only just come to my attention. I love the use of the word 'probably' and being something of an agnostic I am delighted that atheists have so kindly spent all that money promoting my beliefs. I must say their selflessness is to be commended if I was them I'd have just gone with promoting the atheist position that there is no God. Let's hope this tolerance and willingness to see the other man's point of view spreads. Perhaps The Meat Marketing Board could treat Peta and Viva to a couple of campaigns promoting the benefits of a vegan diet. Honestly God himself couldn't have created a more pathetic bunch of opponents.
I'm also rather puzzled by their apparent belief that thinking their might not be a God should cause one to stop worrying. The happiest and most relaxed folk I know are believers. No matter what life hurls at them they believe that God will sort it out and spend rather less time worrying than I do. In fact not believing in God is ten times scarier than the alternative -every time I consider the possibility that we are alone in the universe I look at the bunch of muppets in charge of the world and I think to myself we really are doomed! Frankly I'd rather take my chances with the ill tempered God of the Old Testament than our idiot leaders and the bovine masses. At least God can do the old water into wine trick if things get too rough whereas the government just panic and start passing legislation which is no use to man or beast. I rather think telling folk on buses there isn't a God is rubbing salt in the wound. Have you seen the sort of people you get on these mobile rumpus room for neds? It's bad enough sitting there thinking 'well obviously evolution is bollocks' without even having the thought of God casting one's fellow passengers into the pit of hell to comfort one.
Anyway atheists are not the only ones blowing a fortune on crappy adverts. Rape Crisis Scotland are at it as well. I was gazing out a window on the bus when my eye alighted in a perky pair of tits sporting erect nipples emblazoned with the message 'This is not an invitation to rape me'. It's not that I disagree with the message -anyone who thinks the sight of a bit of female flesh gives him the right to behave like an animal should be drowned in the interests of public safety. It's just that I doubt it's effectiveness -though I'd be delighted to be proved wrong.
Mind you I am thinking of coming up with my own anti-rape advertising campaign. I'd start of with a campaign detailing all the gruesome things that happen to sex offenders in jail. Then once that got noticed I'd put out a new advert featuring an army of blood spattered but triumphant women holding aloft severed penises (or is it peni?) with the slogan 'if the courts don't get you we will'. There's no point in trying to appeal to rapists reason they just do it because they like raping folk. Their behaviour is no more rational than that of the average playground bully. In any case they don't even believe that 'ooh I couldn't help it she was wearing a mini skirt' eyewash. They're just trying to shift the blame. I say terrify them into submission and if that doesn't work sling them in prison for a few years and let the lads give them a brutal taste of their own medicine.