7/03/2008

Who Told Meryl Streep She Could Sing?





Hello,
I know conventional wisdom has it that Meryl Streep is a great actress but she's always left me cold. There's something rather sterile about her. She looks like the sort of woman who's never knowingly more than a foot away from a bottle of Dettol.

I've also long suspected that she has no discernible sense of humour. Every time someone mentions her name I see in my minds eye a puritan smirking at a witch trial. Lord knows why I'm quite sure that in real life she just takes a dim view of people who don't recycle and is an atheist of the most dog breathed, leaden sort. I expect she'd fit in well in the teaching profession - she'd be the sort that would hang about with Maths and PE teachers and participate in the freezing out of bumbling old Latin teachers.

Anyway the overrated old trout has been all over the telly murdering Abba songs in her new film for the easily impressed Mamma Mia. What have poor Abba done to deserve this? If it's not fat office birds in crazy wigs murdering their songs in a fun pub, some X Factor contestant is having a pop and now an overrated actress takes on possibly the most underrated pop of all time. Every clip of this atrocity clearly demonstrates that Streep's singing is soulless shouting as devoid of charm as it is of any genuine talent. I shall gloss over Pierce Brosnan dad dancing away like a toad with piles. In any sane world this film would be a huge flop and contracts taken out out on the stars but the world we live in is far from sane as reference to any large newspaper will confirm. The tabloids should be ignored for being unduly alarmist. All is not lost. It can't be.

Above are two Abba songs that have thus far escaped the wacky, kitsch brigade. Enjoy them or carry on through life as the sort of chap who labours under the misapprehension that wacky child rapists The Beatles are the best pop songwriters of all time and Abba are just silly pop fluff. The curse of received wisdom is everywhere. Meryl Streep is an ironing board of an actress and The Beatles were in the right place at the right time -nothing more.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Fantastic! I've thought for a long time that The Visitors is criminally overlooked. But on the plus side that's saved it from being covered by Westlife.

iLL Man said...

Lord save us from Beatles bores. Paul Gambuccini has a shit load to answer for............

Dr Maroon said...

Great stuff.

...I see in my minds eye a puritan smirking at a witch trial.

My god that's good Clairwil. Please tell me it's one of yours and that I can use it.

Clairwil said...

I believe it to be be all my own work, feel free to spread the observation.

Anonymous said...

Who told Clairwil he/she can write a blog?

Just another useless blog....AND THE BLOGGER EVEN DARES TO BASH MERYL STREEP.....OMG

Clairwil said...

Who told Clairwil he/she can write a blog?

We me initially. You should know that the only opinion that matters on these pages is mine. In any case I'm hardly likely to be swayed by someone too think to choose a name for themselves. As for the charge of uselessness all art is quite useless now stand back in awe -peasant.