That facts of the matter are quite simple. I need a haircut rather badly as it happens. Oh how I long for my platinum blonde days when split ends were rather becoming and formed a glowing halo round my head. It was trashy but rather splendid. No-one has ever been impressed with dark brown split ends. It's unfair but the way of the world and up with it we must put.
Anyway I was wondering what to ask the hairdresser for when I chanced upon a picture of Paris Hilton and was rather taken with her hairdo. This is only the start of my problems. I cannot bring myself to enter a hairdressers and ask for a 'Paris Hilton'. It wouldn't be seemly and besides the hairdressers will all make snide remarks about the mutton wanting to look like Paris Hilton.
In truth I fear hairdressers. I nearly became one many years ago in a directionless moment in life but the combined might of the DSS and the scary girls on my course put paid to that. The DSS decided in their infinite wisdom that I'd be better off on a six week course to learn how to complete job applications rather than a twelve month part time hairdressing course with a guaranteed work placement and promptly stopped my dole. Of course I knew that I was right and was allowed to attend college part-time provided I continued to look for work but the chance to escape the inevitable beating from my fellow students was too good to pass up, so I didn't argue my case.
As an aside I pity anyone who claims benefits, I don't care about the con artists. To me the worst thing about benefits is not that a few folk take the piss but that every claimant has to explain themselves to passionless desk dwellers who sleep but never dream. I often wonder if what attracted me to my current line of work was the chance to put the spiritually dead wankers in their place. I am all about revenge really when you get down to it.
To stroll back in the direction of the point. What in God's name should I ask my hairdresser to do to avoid the shame of requesting a 'Paris Hilton'.