I could try but I'd be sure to fail if I were attempt to convey to you my love of stuffed animals. Taxidermy rocks! What a fantastic thing to be. My whole life I've longed for a job title worth living up to but to no avail. Observe my C.V
Paper Girl- Left due to fear of dogs
Shop assistant- Sacked for bursting into tears at the sheer misery of it all.
Checkout Girl- Sacked for being 'enigmatic with customers'.
Barmaid- Sacked for getting on too well with customers or topping up pints after the first gulp.
Shopkeeper- Gave it up after premises became unsafe.
Band Manager- The band were rubbish.
Savings Advisor- Ah the rock and roll years in the bank- promoted.
Resource Officer- As above
Personal Finance Advisor- Left because I hated the customers and wished them all dead.
Admin Assistant- Left because they failed to treat me with the correct level of deference.
Welfare Rights/Outreach Worker - Still grinding away but the job title and description is not what I'm after. It conjures up visions of overweight women with cropped grey hair and shoes made of mung beans. That isn't me at all, I like gaudy things, pole dancers, gambling, sex booze, drugs, sneering and staring into space. I'm quite partial to 'making things' as well, in fact today I made 6 pairs of earrings which will be for sale at the Royal Concert Hall in Glasgow on the 29th if anyone fancies a Clairwil original although I suspect you don't. Call me psychic.
Now imagine how much more impressive that would have been if there had been a spot of taxidermy in there. Or tattoo artistry I fancy a go at that. Actually I'm thinking of getting another tattoo but that's besides the point.
Have a peep at the stuffed things....
A stuffed magpie
A stuffed snake
An inflated puffer fish
A Pine Martin
A spider crab
Wendy Alexander Naked!!!!