Random Election Bits

Sadly I have work in the morning. Grrrrr! As I'm already in trouble for my time keeping I shall be in bed by two. However should anything of note occur between now and then I shall wallop it up having made a last minute hop onto the 'live blogging' bandwagon

23:21- A broken helicopter up north delays the results. I think it's an island that's affected not sure which one, I was running a tap and didn't hear the full report.

23:25- They're rubbing our faces in Labour having the run of Scotland for the last two million years.

23:26 Fuck it's that toad Douglas Alexander. He was round my way a few weeks back provoking the heckle of the decade from a slightly pissed pensioner 'You no even worth shouting at ya prick!'. I settled for a muttered 'cunt'.

23:31 Christ what a bunch of bores.

23:32 The broken helicopter is in Inverness. The votes of the Western Isles are stranded.

23:33 Oh it's not broken. It's something to do with fog.

23:37 Christ they're talking about the new electronic voting system. They've been using it in Norway apparently.

23:38 OOOOH fifteen minutes from the first result. A Labour win in some bovine Labour heartland is predicted.

23:42 Oh look Jeremy Vine

23:46 Wishaw the 'pigsty' is a bawhair off announcing a result.

23:47 Christ the pundits are waffling.

23:48 Oh it's Tommy. Doesn't he look smart!

23:50 There is something comical about Patrick Harvie.

23:51 Bollocks people only vote green when they can't be arsed spoling their paper.

23:52 'I haven't done the maths on that' -Patrick Harvie -I don't doubt it.

23:54 For the love of God! When will something happen.

23:55 Oh look it's Tommy again.

23:56 Oh no it's McConnel and Bridget 'The Moll' McConnell.

23:58 Harvie isn't comical. He's peculiar, like a panty sniffer. I'm scared.

23:59 Can we have Tommy back. I like the way he rolls his r's.

23:59 Run to the hills it's Jackie Bird.

00:14 A madman on the loose with a golf club in Edinburgh West. He smahed open the boxes and ripped up the ballot papers. Let's hope they were Labour votes.

00:27 Imagine how smug Terry Kelly must be feeling just now.

00:28 In fact don't you'll only get all maudlin.

00:29 Oh look Wishaw again.

00:31 RESULTS!!!! Oh McConnell won in the 'pigsty'.

00:33 Bald man with an anti-trident banner.

00:34 I think Scotland should be nuked.

00:35 Why won't McConnell shut up?

00:36 If I'd been one his pupils I'd have strangled him. Imagine that teaching fractions.

00:37 You can shove your smoking ban up your arse. If McConnell got lung cancer, I'd piss myself laughing.

00:38 A cup of tea, I think.

00:39 Ballot boxes sinking in the Clyde.

00:41 Highest ever vote for the spoiled ballots.

00:54 I think McConnell's having a nervous breakdown. He looks distracted as if he's about to cry. He's not even smirking. I'm worried.

00:57 I think he's on drugs.

01:02 Oh it's Kelvin (my bit) Fuck Off! Another Labour win. Booooo! 1207 majority down 2%.

01:06 Shut up you fucking fishwife.

01:08 1195 spoiled papers up from 169 in Kelvin.

01:11 Charles Kennedy looks like I feel

01:12 Dundee West SNP WIN! At fucking last! 6.1% swing to SNP from Labour.

01:42 Annieland Bloody Labour again. That's it I'm off to bed. Bunch of winning bastards.

01:45 Has the Labour winner lost his marbles? He's like a spinster shrieking at a mouse.

01:49 'very interesting seats'

01:52 Airdrie and Shotts Another Labour win. A big rough lassie in a cheap white jacket. I'll bet she's not wearing pants.


Katy Newton said...

Are you still being stalked? Sorry. I mean, are you still stalking people?

Clairwil said...

Nah! I'm being left alone for now.

iLL Man said...

Love how the Greens can't decide whether they're going to get a whole bunch of seats or absolutely bugger all.

Mr Sheridan is on good form anyway.

btw, How does one get a Scottish Idlers badge?

iLL Man said...

Labour retaining seats, but losing votes hand over fist. Would be hilarious if it turned out the hecklers weren't SNP.

Deacon Barry said...

I've heard that one of the hecklers is connected with one of the Christian parties.
What an absolute pig's breakfast of an election.

Clairwil said...

Four more years of Terry Kelly! The good news is Rayleen's out on her vast arse.

Jeff said...

"01:06 Shut up you fucking fishwife."

Still loving that line by the way. She certainly let herself go a bit up there.

Ah well, at least it'll be another 4 years before we see or hear from her again...

Rumbold said...


I noticed that Terry Kelly kept accusing you of insulting mentally ill people. I asked for links/evidence, and he replied thus:

"Clairwil descended into poison and bile when she argued with me, she cynically used people with mental handicaps to attack me, she is a shameful character thoroughly disreputable with a tongue like a drunken fish wife, a horrible person.
I don't want to go back over it, it is really distasteful, contact her and she will give you her version of events no doubt, ask her to reprint our exchanges and make up your own mind, she's some piece of work."

You should really go onto his website and put the relevent links there. I do not believe you have done anything wrong, but mud stucks (even if it is from Terry Kelly).

Clairwil said...

I can't go on his website because he won't publish any of my comments and hasn't done for some time now. That he feels it acceptable to make such viscious personal attacks on someone he doesn't know, says more about him than it does about me.

Rumbold said...

Indeed it does. Just thought that I would let you know.

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