I have just received the following e-mail from Elena who I am quite sure is a delightful young lady. As I'm neither responsible or male I don't seem to be exactly what she's after. Come to think of it, I'm not what one would describe as cute either. We shall skirt over the issue of intelligence.
second half. He should be responsible, intelligent and cute. I think
that I am looking for you... And what do you think about it? I am
waiting for your opinion: email@example.com
I hate to disappoint though I do seem to have something of a talent for it these days. Anyway if any of the chaps reading would like to take our Elena out, her e-mail address is above and indicates that she is one of the best ladies not some mangy, shagging round the bins scrubber. Best of luck and I will be expecting a wedding invite should things go well.
This reminds me of the time a mysterious woman tried to steal Mr Clairwil by putting a hand delivered letter through his door making a 'sincere offer of romance'. Naturally I wanted to respond with a sincere offer of a sore face but Mr Clairwil put his foot down. Normally I don't take much notice of anything he says but he was quite stern and I grew frightened if slightly excited. I must say I was very disappointed in her. I had hoped that she would be more persistent and the whole thing would end with me hurling rocks at her windows. Believe me she was dangerous -I mean what sort of woman goes putting notes through stranger's doors offering it on a plate. It's disgusting and unseemly.