Work Is A Curse

I've been working late this evening. That isn't a euphemism for seducing my secretary, I was actually working. Followed by networking. God I loathe networking. I just want to stand up, ring a small bell to get everyone's attention and shout 'not one of you have anything I want, so would you all mind awfully if I took this bottle of wine and got quietly pissed in a corner'. Obviously I don't because that would be 'unprofessional' which would never do.

There weren't even any MPs/MSPs/councillors there. Now I do like networking with them. Honestly they are such vain twits. It's hilarious. I do the same thing every time. During a lull in the conversation I say 'you'll know what it's like, you have such a high pressure job'. Only once has this failed, the rest of the time they relish the chance to bang on about the sacrifices they make for the little people. It's not like them to miss out of free booze, so I can only assume there was a more lavish do elsewhere or an orgy.



Clairwil's Secretary said...

Oi! You haven't seduced me in ages you git. What's up with you?

Anonymous said...

What do you do C? Apologies if it's right on the front page staring at me; I'm a bit sleepy.

Clairwil said...

Look secretary If I've told you once I've told you a million times. Fuck off and bring me a naked office junior.

My official title is 'Refugee Worker'. That's quite misleading as I'm not a refugee and do very little work.

Clairwil said...

I should also point out, I'm a writer on the sly as well. Don't be fooled by the blog I've got quite a talent.

Fat Sparrow said...

Sales conventions are much better. No one expects to get any actual work done, it's all about the partying. Back in the day, I was one of the few women in my field, and it was fun drinking the sales guys under the table, and then writing rude words and drawing extra facial hair on them in permanent marker after they passed out. They still had to do the convention the next day with whatever it was written or drawn on them.


Company-logo baseball hats were always popular giveaways, to cover up the "Fuckface" written on their forehead.

alan said...

yes, and a bloody good orgy it was too!

Anonymous said...

Ah, refugee worker. So when do you expect to get your immigration visa to allow you to work here legally? You can't hide behind the blog forever you know.

Kieran said...

I like the wine idea.
Actually I like all wine ideas.
Well done for having one though.

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