There are those who while away the hours thinking about the meaning of life or working towards important scientific discoveries. I am not one of them. As Mr Clairwil is fond of saying 'if civilisation had been left to people like us, we'd still be living in caves'. I agree up to a point though I have my doubts about whether we'd have made it as far as caves. In fact if civilisation had been left to me and my other half it would consist of a series of half finished grandiose structures lying about getting in the way. Though on the plus side we'd all spend about 23 hours a day sleeping.
Anyway I am pleased to announce that I have been doing some thinking and asking questions. Having a good old ponder if you will. Here are the results. Who in the name of all that is sacred and holy came up with eating animals? I'm not having a go at people who eat meat or anything. What I'm struggling to imagine is the thought process of the first person to look at a cow and think 'I'm going to eat that'. I like cows, I consider them my friends but let's be frank they smell and they don't smell very appetising. Eating furry animals is even odder. Surely the first person to eat a rabbit must have being doing it for a bet.
Eggs are another puzzle. Who started that peculiar practice? What made someone look at mother hen sat on her eggs and think 'I'm going to eat those'? Honey was definitely a bet, it must have been. I wonder if anyone tried to eat a wasps nest at any point? Actually I think I'd quite like to see that from a safe distance. I remember a small crowd of us watching one of my neighbours attacking a wasps nest with a brush. It was hilarious! The wasps were fizzing mad and started chasing us all. My protestations that I hadn't been anywhere near their bloody nest were wasted on the angry swarm but no harm was done, I out ran the buggers and remained indoors for several hours waiting for the coast to clear. Clairwil 1 Wasps nil.
To return to eggs for a moment if I may, how long do you reckon people attempted to eat boiled eggs for before someone invented the egg cup? I don't know if you've ever attempted this feat, believe me it is not easy. I once gave all my egg cups to the poor in a fit of extravagance, then promptly forgot about it. It was only after I'd boiled an egg this evening that I remembered what I'd done. To say I have suffered agonies is no exaggeration. After chasing the egg across a saucer I tried to balance it on a tea glass which was a disaster. I then tried to improvise with a strong grip and a tea towel -another failure. In the end I hurled it in the bin and had butterbeans instead. The butterbeans behaved beautifully and did not even make a token attempt to escape. That is how it should be, I will not eat anything that requires chasing, I'm not up to it.