I see there was a bomb hoax on board a plane bound for Ireland yesterday. Naturally in these troubled times it was taken very seriously and the plane was forced to land at Prestwick. The bomb threat such as it was, had been scrawled across an in flight magazine. Now I think on it I think I may understand how the hoaxer felt. Anyway the police are investigating and I know these things take time but there were 71 schoolchildren aboard the plane. I'm not Poroit but I know where my long finger of suspicion points.
The whole thing reminds me of my own minor terrorist career. Yes I was a teenage bomb hoaxer or to be more accurate I instigated a bomb hoax and caused a school to be evacuated. If anyone in authority is reading this can I just point out that the IRA are on cease fire and even if I had been caught at the time I'd be out by now so let's just leave things as they are. On the other hand in my endless quest to live a life where I get the smooth with none of the rough, if the Irish people wish to give me some sort of prize for my bold attempt to liberate them from imperialist British rule I will of course accept.
To return to the tale of my own hoax. It's the usual story you're mad with the magic mushrooms when you should be in school, you see a phone, you hatch a plan. The next thing the person with the least worst Irish accent is phoning the school purporting to be a member of the provisional IRA. Ten minutes later we were picking random numbers out the phone book and shouting 'smell yer maw' and 'I'm the creature from the blue lagoon' down the phone at startled people.
We'd forgotten all about the terrorist bit until our school friends came round at lunch time and were gloating about how we'd missed ourselves in school because they'd been out half the morning as a result of a fire alarm. The ungrateful bastards didn't so much as thank us for their skive time. Instead we were treated to a lecture about bombs killing people and told that we shouldn't joke about such things.
I realise that in-flight japes of that nature are a wee bit more serious but I for one feel the wee buggers shouldn't be treated too harshly when they are caught. Boredom is a terrible thing and I suspect that the worst the bomb hoaxer will be doing in five years time is writing a blog.