Just now and then I like to take time out from worrying that western civilisation is going to hell in a handcart and ponder what lucky, old sausages we are instead.
Isn't technology marvellous. I'm not talking about all that boring man in the moon, dog in a rocket stuff. I mean exciting technology. I would like to take this opportunity to draw your attention to some astonishing advances in the world of sex dolls.
Look! Look! They're so real! There's even one that's the double of Tracey in my work. The price is a bit steep, mind £3715 each. For that money I'd want a bordello full of the rubber temptresses.
Nevertheless we are still lucky old sausages because as we know technology always starts off being expensive, then Tesco round up some child labour and before you know it, the clever little children are knocking stuff out at a fraction of the cost. Hurrah!
UPDATE- For the love of God read the testimonials. They are badly written enough to suggest they're genuine. They are also as tragic as you'd imagine.