2/05/2006

Mummy Why Are All The Grown Ups Shouting?

Hello,

Like Larry over at Tampon Teabag I too am bored rigid by the hoo hah about those bloody cartoons. For me it's a bit like the time Christians all went doolally about Jerry Springer the Opera. I don't understand it at all. If you believe in an afterlife in which you are rewarded for your good deeds and punished for your sins, then why get worked up about other people's blasphemy? If I were religious and someone insulted my religion I'd just sit back smugly and think of them roasting on the hob of hell. Let's face it, if an omnipotent being like God actually exists, he's hardly likely to need us to fight his battles.

If I were God, which obviously I'm not, though I do have the same initials as his son, I'd love it when people insulted me because then I could lie about stroking my beard and plotting revenge. Mind you I spend a lot of my time doing that already it's just that I lack the means to put my more grandiose schemes into action. It would be great being God, though I fear I'd just use my powers to create mischief, like persuading George Bush to appear on TV in drag or telling David Icke he's my son. Yes I know the David Icke one has been done before but it was such fun the first time, I think it could stand a second airing.

Right I'm off to catch up on the papers. If you're bored and fancy reading about my day out yesterday click here.


Cheerio

2 comments:

alan said...

I do like your beard, but have you considered trimming it into a goatee for a more up-to-the-minute look? Villains, bouncers, and unsavoury American men trying to look hard and/or hip often sport goatees, so they're ideal for stroking when you're sitting knitting your eyebrows and plotting revenge. I once knitted something, but I can't remember what it was. I have a vague feeling it was connected with Kate Moss, but I may be confusing it with something else I once crocheted. Anyway, sounds like you enjoyed your trip to Queens Park, although I'm disappointed that you didn't pay a visit to 'Adult Fun', where the skirmishing is much less dangerous. A goatee can sometimes be useful in these situations too I believe.

Clairwil said...

I suppose the old beard could do with a revamp. I'll give the goatee some thought. A visit to 'Adult Fun' is planned in the next few weeks, so I'm relieved to hear the skirmishing is less dangerous. I'd hate to be caught up in a riot with my newly styled beard.