11/09/2005

My Last Ever Franz Ferdinand Rant.



Hello,

Wouldn't it be fucking hysterical if the fey boys from Franz Ferdinand expired of an AIDS related illness? Oh yes it would, and before you all start giving it 'my partner died of AIDS and it was sore' , I know a death from AIDS is a painful thing, hence why I wish it on people I don't like.

Anyway, I have now had a chance to hear the tender Franz Ferdinand tribute to their token working class friend Robert Anderson, yes 'The Fallen' aka 'Robert Anderson Is Jesus Christ'. Never let it be said that I'm not fair, here is a link to the offending lyrics (aka the defence) below;

http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/The-Fallen-lyrics-Franz-Ferdinand/A368DAF6BE8037BA48257083000B359D

So they say you're trouble, boy
Just because you like to destroy
All the things that bring the idiots joy
Well, what's wrong with a little destruction?

Of course as an 'idiot', I care a great deal about independent record shops getting ripped off by lower than shite junkie thief, Robert Anderson. Couldn't give a fuck about Tesco's profits. I'd just like the chance to shop somewhere interesting without flying to Tokyo. However I think we all know that toff boys Franz, mean ordinary working people when they say' idiots'. Like scum with jobs could have feelings, families, lifestyles to support or bills to pay, Hah! I expect one day Mr Kapranos/Huntley will publish a P.G Wodehouse short story to serve as an autobiography. The platinum plated spoon sucking cunt, that he is.

As the fantastic Mr Steve of Dr Feelgood Steve and The Spectator both point out, Franz are the dreariest of bands;

Franz Ferdinand:'The Scottish band Franz Ferdinand do not have sexual relations with their fans because they consider it a ‘form of abuse’ (tell that to Mick Jagger). They have clearly internalised officialdom’s warning that personal relationships — especially sexual ones — are potentially harmful and that we all have to be ultra-careful. Alex Kapranos, the lead singer of Franz Ferdinand, even writes a weekly column for the Guardian. On food. Can you get more mind-numbingly middle-of-the-road than that?'

So there we are, the mindset of toffs! It is okay to rob struggling little shops (and succeed in closing them down) as long as you rob Tesco to give your 'ooooh isn't he naughty' posh pals a ready made justification. However fucking ready, willing, consenting groupies is a form of abuse. To think these fuckwits have more credibility than Kerry Katona or Posh and Becks. Really, it's laughable.

But can you guess what really riles me? Lord Huntley has a column in The Guardian and I don't. They have space, I'm not as clever as the other columnists, but I'm more entertaining. The injustice of it all.

Cheerio

6 comments:

Unknown said...

Funny, you're the first person I've heard about who doesn't like Franz Ferdinand.

iLL Man said...

I just think their music is utterly rotten. The last single still makes me laugh out loud.

iLL Man said...

p.s. hedgehog babies rule!!

Clairwil said...

The hedgehog babies are great aren't they?

Anonymous said...

PISH PISH PISH
FF, that is. There is nary a tune on their new elpee. Your post is marvellous, I concur heartily with it all. I saw them morph into the lizards they truly are at TiTP last year. Not pretty.

Anonymous said...

Stradivarius Violence, you're alive! A mutual friend advises me that you're courting a lady just now. Details please.