The Uptight Stripper And a Nation Of Tits.

Hello,
I see the nation is having some sort of collective nervous breakdown over the antics of Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand. I'm afraid that being in possession of a somewhat cruel and vulgar sense of humour I was rather amused by it. Still I suppose one shouldn't go around upsetting elderly gentlemen so an apology is in order. Indeed apologies have been made and Andrew Sachs appears happy to leave it at that.

Still let's not forget all the other people who've been offended like the 10,000 who went on to the internet in search of a recording of a reportedly offensive broadcast simply so that they too could enjoy the thrill of victimhood without any real harm having befallen them. Will the BBC be providing one of their special counselling lines I wonder?

More amusing still is the reaction of Georgina Baillie (the grandaughter) who has bounced onto the pages of The Sun to reveal to world that the jokes had a bit more substance to them than we'd first thought in that she has shagged Brand three times. To be fair to her I expect with her line of work in niche soft porn and stripping she's not used to disrespectful remarks from the chaps. God life really is a bitch isn't it? Poor failed page 3 girl Georgina goes to all the bother of becoming 'empowered' by projecting herself as a sexually available 'Satanic Slut', no doubt looking down on the more honestly exhibitionist porn stars and pole dancers as she goes and finds she's accorded no more respect than any other one night stand.

Her claims to be outraged on her grandfathers behalf are as risible as they are phoney. If she were genuinely upset she wouldn't be pouring petrol on the fire by giving interviews, instead she'd be getting on with life and treating juvenile male behaviour with the contempt it deserves. Her bleating all over The Sun is no more than a job interview for the post of pointless celebrity. Never has one woman seized the chance of minor fame with such desperation. Still it'll be nice to see some raven hair for a change in the sea of blonde that is Nuts magazine.


Cheerio

UPDATE: It would appear from this weeks Popbitch that I've been rather hasty in accusing Georgina Baillie of looking down on porn stars. Apparently she's something of a starlet herself! Good God how will she preserve her dignity now? Perhaps by supplying The Sun with a description of exactly what her and Russell got up to. Grandad must be so proud -still at least his family aren't having their privacy invaded anymore.

Save The Adipose, Behead The Bean Counters

Hello,
I note that the BBC are harassing knitters now. God it's such a bothering channel! Say what you like about ITV but it isn't always trying to get us to behave. Why won't the BBC leave us alone? If it's not Blue Peter annoying us about bloody 'Bring and Buy', they're bothering us with Children in Need. Why can't Blue Peter just call bring and buy sales jumble sales like normal folk anyway? It's the classic hallmark of a botherer that -trying to turn life's little pleasures into something worthy. I remember they once featured an ex-employer of mine on Watchdog, our life wasn't worth living for weeks afterwards. I don't want to go into detail -suffice to say I got my head nipped by angry pensioners with anti-Scottish conspiracy theories. Awful.

To walk towards the vaguest direction of the point, a fan of both knitting and Doctor Who has knitted some very sweet little 'adipose' toys. Apparently the adipose are some sort of villains though as I gaze into their mother me eyes I find this impossible to believe. I expect they're just misunderstood. Whatever the moral character of the little sweeties, knitted versions make the BBC very cross, very cross indeed.

It's the usual old rot about copyright. What in God's name do we pay a licence fee for? We own all that stuff. As far as I'm concerned anything BBC produced is fair game whether it's knitted, boiled or painted. It's the effrontery that gets me. I'll bet the maniacs, and there is no other word for them, behind this decision have been at home boring their wives senseless about this 'threat' for days now. It's simply appalling. If we tolerate this crochet will be next.

Nevertheless I am a reasonable person, if the BBC don't want us to copy their stuff then they should stop showing it to all and sundry and scrap the licence fee.

Cheers