Crap Photofit

Photofits are rubbish. People don't like to say so because they normally encounter the things when news reaches them that some frightful beast is on the loose and they don't want to undermine the search by loudly remarking that no human on earth ever looked like that.

I remember my entire family being reduced to tears of helpless laughter by a Crimewatch photofit of a rapist who bore a striking resemblance to a wooden spoon. As mother wisely remarked displaying a picture of the sex offending oddity seriously undermined the horror all right thinking people ought to feel at such a crime. Honestly you should have seen us rolling around the floor laughing even though it hurt. The hiccups that night were a purgatory!

Mind you it did put my own run of bad luck with the sex offender community into perspective. Whatever humiliations I have endured at least the perp wasn't an egg whisk.

Anyway it has come to my attention that a new photofit of Osama Bin Laden is, like Mr Bin Laden himself, on the loose. However before all you amateur sleuths get over excited and send poor Mo from the newsagents to Guatanamo for advanced bullying, hear this. The photofit is rubbish. When I first saw it I wondered why Osama had Gordon Brown's hair. It turns out the hair belongs to a Spanish politician as does the jaw line.

In other words the FBI have presented the world the a picture of a Spanish fellow entirely unrelated to Mr Bin Laden but sumperimposed Bin Laden's eyes and nose to it to trick us into thinking they haven't entirely wasted our time.

If they don't know what he looks like at the moment they'd be as well keeping quiet. Stunts like this make them look like the Keystone Cops only funnier. One might as well stick a Bin Laden mask to a cheetah or a portaloo and ask the world if they've seen this man.



vavatch said...

You may enjoy the world's worst photofit then - used by Bolivian police. There's a good youtube clip of the Bolivian crimewatch using this sketch, too.

Clairwil said...

That is superb!

loohire said...

If you put a mask on a portable toilet wouldn't it look like Michael Portillo?....Portillo, get it!