Apologies for yet another mammoth absence, I've been rather preoccupied with trying to obtain free bulbs for the last week or so and that's scoffed up my attention. I'd love to report it's going well but we've not been pledged a single bulb yet -though let's be positive I'm sure we'll get there. People thus far have been very supportive in words if not in bulbs.
Anyway moving on to jolly old cats. As some of you may be aware I very fond of the buggers for more or less the same reasons that people are suspicious of them. You can keep the dumb loyalty of dogs -who wants to be friends with something that would talk to anyone? Mind you I don't hate dogs they're quite jolly in their own way and it's always good to see one in a hat or on a skateboard looking bewildered.
So cats. Some boffin has discovered that cats use special purrs to manipulate humans into doin their bidding. I can't say I've ever noticed any special purring among my feline friends just the standard issue elderly fridge purr. When our Brian wants attention he sticks his nose into one's eye socket, Sophie wails like a tortured baby and Carly does her level best to draw blood. Maybe that's because I've been unable to recognise the special purr all these years and they've ot so frustrated they've resorted to other means to bring one into line. No wonder I left them with Mummy when I flew the nest. Reading that back it's plain they're a shower of nutters.
It's slightly off topic but I once cured someone of a serious allergy to cat hair. I must confess I was trying to murder them by collecting bits of cat hair and putting it in their pocket and handbag to no avail. It's puzzling because I got the idea when they told me that they'd blown up like a balloon and had to go to hospital because they ate a slice of cake baked by someone who owned a cat. It was upon hearing this tale related in a whiny voice that I hatched my plan. Of course because it was a murder attempt I couldn't take the credit for curing their life-threatening cat hair allergy and so the silly woman still runs screaming from cats in the belief she's still suffering. I must admit I came close to fessing up when a cat appeared at the closed office window and she ran to the other side of the room shrieking 'get it away'.
Right I'm off again to panhandle some bulbs.