7/28/2008

War Is Declared!

Hello,
I or rather my garden has been the victim of crime. I hopped downstairs this morning to find a large bin bag dumped on the path which was bad enough. It was only as I got closer I noticed a bag of broadsheet newspapers deliberately and maliciously dumped on a selection of helpless seedlings. Broadsheet newspapers- if even the educated classes have descended into barbarism what hope is left? Sadly that wasn't the worst of it the evil swine had also ripped out a beautiful fuchsia in full bloom and thrown it onto the street. Not content with that they stamped a small section of seedlings to green mush.

Given the make up of the neighbourhood and the presence of broadsheets I suspect students. This is good news in a way because they tend to move on after a term or two but bad news that we're saddled with such scum in our midst even for a short time. Is it any wonder the proper locals get so hacked off with the yuppiefication of this area? All it's done is attract a load of anti-social little mummies boys who would make a priest pro-abortion.

My first impulse was to rip the bags open and look for anything with an address on it so that I could return the favour on the culprits face but an altogether calmer supporter of the garden intervened and talked me out of that one. Still it's vexing me I want to know who did this so that I can make their life here a wretched misery. Unfortunately they'd covered their tracks and no address could be found so I can't even unleash Mr Plod on them.

I really don't get the mentality behind such behaviour in any case if they hate plants so much, if they cannot share in the simple pleasure of not living in a shitehole why don't they bugger off back to whichever godforsaken suburb they crawled from?

War against an unseen enemy isn't easy but they'll back down before I do. So far the death toll stands at 3 nasturtiums, 2 sunflowers, 1 polyanthus, 6 cornflowers, countless seedlings which could not be identified, the flowers from the fuchsia and my good mood.

Still I've buried the dead, tidied up and will now carry on as if nothing has happened but just wait till I catch the bastards in the act.

Cheerio

6 comments:

BenefitScroungingScum said...

Spoiled little s***s! I'm sorry to hear about this setback, BG x

Clairwil said...

It's only a little setback but annoying nevertheless. It's the absolute want of imagination that gets me. It's obvious that a lot of work has gone into it and 99% of folk in the street like it so why wreck it.

Still the propaganda war will be starting shortly. I am currently composing a letter which will go to all the residents in the street explaining what and why I'm doing and alerting them to the presence of a vandal in our midst. I will also be appealing directly to said vandal for a full apology and requesting a small donation towards the upkeep of the garden by way of compensation.

iLL Man said...

If the vandal is a resident, then it could be hard to pin them down. If you come to suspect someone, they'll just claim it was all the work of 'passing neds'. Keep an eagle eye out and carry your camera with you at all times.

Sadly, whilst most passers by and pub users enjoy what you've done, there are probably people in your block who resent it for no other reason than the fact that it 'inconveniences' them in their desire to ditch their rubbish without having to open one of those nasty, dirty waste bins, where they might catch a disease or something.

It's the only reason I can think of for why people act in this manner.

Do you have gardening gloves? I can get you a pair cheap if you want them.

Anonymous said...

Fight to the last daisy, er, or daffodil - I have difficulty telling them apart - but keep fighting; I'm with you in spirit - and not just that sort, either!

Anonymous said...

really sorry to hear about this. hope the letter will help, maybe to make the vandal think again, maybe to make neighbours watchful and confront a future attack on the seedlings. I can't imagin anyone who'd do this, I'm just too naive and believe in the general goodness in people. It wasn't a misguided dog/fox/seagull/rat by any chance? Even a broadsheet reading one?

Clairwil said...

Illman,
I think you might be right as to the motive. I don't expect to be able to identify them much as I'd like to but I hope to at least make them squirm a bit. I actually don't think it's anyone in my block. The alfresco smokers (aka garden police) inform me that people in the close opposite dump their rubbish there as it's quicker than using their own bins out the back. Since the garden started a fair few have been told in no uncertain terms where to put their rubbish by the garden police. This is fine during opening hours but doesn't stop them the rest of the time. I'm actually going to get onto Clean Glasgow and my councillor for help.

David,
Thank-you all support is welcome.

Cartside,
If only it were birds but I just don't see them lifting two heavy bin bags! My only problem with the animal kingdom is slugs. I'm actually hoping to attract a bit of wildlife with my efforts and have had some modest success with bees, sparrows and a solitary butterfly. However don't let this shake your belief in the general goodness of people the vast majority of people have been very supportive and kind.