In Defence of The Sweary Man!

I love good swear. A good old eff and jeff. That isn't what makes me an idiot- doubtless some boffin will explain that mummy drank too much Carlsberg during pregnancy or sat on an infected toilet seat. Who knows, who cares? I get by and don't cause motorway pile ups. I've been known to recycle, go further in bed that a lot of women and be quite useful in my job. As eggs go I'm medium.

I have also been known to rush to the defence of folk I like, quite without warning. I expect there is a self help group somewhere for victims of Clairwil's kindness, may it comfort them to know I'm happy in my own way.

Anyway The poor old Devils Kitchen has been feeling the wrath of various folk, in particular the blogger I hate most and wish would die (not the author of the post who I'm indifferent to). I'm not naming him him -he'll only stick his tail in the air and pretend to be intellectual in comparison to my oaf. He isn't, he's a bore which isn't clever at all. I'm a fool and recognise a fellow fool with a reading list when I see one.

The thrust of the 'anti-devil' arguments is that he swears. Good Lord! Those of you bothered taking the broom out their arse during childhood may have noticed that swearing is rather commonplace. You may also have noticed that whilst it may, for some tastes, make less appealing reading but it does not make the points made wrong. The law of gravity is not rendered invalid by being called the cuntfucking, motherfucking bawbags law of gravity. Just a bit uglier, that's all. I imagine for The Devil being attacked by his detractors is rather like being assaulted by dust or accidentally biting a bit of cotton wool- that's how I'd feel in his shoes -slightly squeamish and mildly irritated.

Far be it for me the founder of the Scottish Idler's Guild to condemn laziness but isn't 'ohhh you said a sweary' a lazy argument? For the record I don't always agree with the with the Devil and his fellow libertarian bloggers but I do consider him and some of his fellow 'bloggertarians' at the very least a good laugh and always worth a read. I have developed a formula for disagreeing with folk for example The Devil says X but I say Y, the Devil reckons that B supports his argument but I reckon C destroys it and so on. At no point do I think to myself he said cunt therefore he's talking pish.

The sharp-eyed amongst you will have noted that I've ignored the main article and focused on the comments. All I can say in my defence is that I'm tired and the comments irked me more than the article. The vice of smuggery is a blight on British society as indeed is the self importance of certain bloggers. 99.9% of you are pub politicians- get a bloody grip. Honestly they'll be re-writing The Euston Manifesto next.



Devil's Kitchen said...

Thank you for leaping to my defence.

You are right: I don't get insulted -- that would be somewhat hypocritical -- but it is a little difficult to try to argue with someone when they simply will not listen.


Katy Newton said...

The Clairwil has leaped magnificently to my defence on a number of occasions. She is officially my homegirl.

*street hand movement*

ZinZin said...

Some people deserve to be called a Cunt. My employer saw things differently, ho-hum.

iLL Man said...

My sympathies to the Devil on this one. I swear with impunity on my own blog (and then some), to little or no remark, so it's always nice to hear of a fellow guttergobs sending the the usual wankers into fits of pique.

Long may it continue........

David Duff said...

Dear Antie Clairwil,
I have a problem - no, not that one - tonight I was alone in the Saloon Bar of my pub and a couple of young men were nattering at the Bar and one of them was using the 'F' word fairly frequently and within hearing of the barmaid and a young waitress. I don't like swearing in front of ladies (who are strangers to me), or in public places, either. What should I have done?

David Duff said...

Or even "Auntie Clairwil"!

Clairwil said...

Oh Luvvie you are in a lather aren't you! It all depends on the size of the chaps. If they were large a quiet word with the landlord (if there is one). If they were small ask them to swear quietly but for God's sake don't write to your MP they'll have the effers and jeffers put out with the smokers.

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