All sorts of chat

Hello,

It's hard to show compassion without looking ,like a grandstanding, bleeding heart. There is no story to follow, no wisdom. It's just true and that is an end to it.

In this weeks sexually exciting news I feel compelled to share this tale with you all. Mr Clairwil regularly tapes 'Balderdash and Piffile' for me because he is top notch and very clever. This week was all about criminal slang, naturally the 'Glasgow Kiss' came up. Everything seemed very normal, I remarked to Mr Clairwil that I'd never heard that expression used in Glasgow and for a hoot asked if he'd ever administered one. You can imagine my surprise when Mr Clairwil, casual as you like owns up to 'sticking the heid' on someone not once but thrice. It has been noted in the past that Mr Clairwil looks very hard but who knew that he was? I knew he'd been in scraps and stuff but this is a baw hair off gang fighting in my book. My sexual fantasies have been revised accordingly.

Earlier in the week I took a trip to Port Logan. Should anyone be trying to compile a visual dictionary and be looking for the definition of 'remote' let it be known that I've found it. What a bleak, beautiful place it is. I didn't even get to see the Victorian Fish Larder I'd gone to see thanks to endless rain, delays and a poor sense of direction. I'm going back for a weekend in September. The pub is great, the people are friendly to the point of harassment but in a good way, there is very little there but beautiful, pensive, romantic scenery and a telephone box. I love it.

The train on the way back was filled with a selection of Orange Bands. I would like it to be known that two of the flute players were amongst the most talented musicians I've ever had the pleasure to hear live. I would also like to applaud the boys open flouting of the smoking ban. Nevertheless lads, could you not get together and agree to be a less difficult bunch of people to defend? I'm on my own out here, talking up the order's egalitarian aspects, commitment to the Protestant faith, belief in civil liberties and ability to stomp a bit of in your face working class culture all over my increasingly yuppified manor. I was in fear of my life at several points on that train. Not a pleasant journey at all and I love rail travel.

Aren't cats ace ?

Cheerio

P.S The Scottish Idlers Guild is here, do join us.